Wind of change
by Kerschi-Puky
Summary: This is just another story about how Ryan met the Cohens. A lot of drama, Kirsten as a cold-hearted career woman, Ryan as a little rude street kid, Seth as Seth and Sandy as lawyer.
1. Two fates

**A/N:** I don't own any rights, nor do I make any profit with this story. But when I'm rich I'll buy all rights ;) Just to make it clear

This my new OC-story and yes, I would like to know what you think. But only a little warning: I won't be able to up date as fast as the last time.

**Summery:** This story shows another way, how Ryan met the Cohens and staid with them - a very stony one. This storry contains a very cold hearted Kirsten at the beginning, but we

should feel with her, because she has her reasons.

JassyLou: I expect you as my co-worker again

And: if someone reads this, who's living in Norwich, studying at the UEA (GB) and is looking for a roommate: let me know, I still need a room for the academic year 09/10

Despite all these information, I hope you enjoy this new story

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**_Two fates_**

**S**he watched her son sleeping. They still didn't know what was wrong. In the morning her son had complained about bad stomach aches, but she hadn't listened to it - thinking he only wanted to make her stay at home. Lately he needed a lot attention and tried everything to make them stay home. When she had come home, he had lain in his bed, still complaining about the pain. She hadn't found it funny and had pulled him out of the bed and when he stood on his feet he had collapsed – because of the pain. Then she realized this hadn't been a pretence. Now she stood next to his hospital bed and was suffering under her bad conscience. Maybe she should quit her job. This was the best proof she hadn't enough time for her son. Why hadn't she noticed it was serious? Why hadn't she staid at home and cared like every caring mother would have done – liker her mother would have done?

"How is he?" Her husband entered the room. He immediately had come home, when she had called him, telling Seth was in hospital and nobody knew what was wrong with him.

"He's sleeping. Any news?"

"Nothing. Some test results aren't evaluated now, but they said they want to do some more tests tomorrow." He took her into his arms letting her know he was there, no matter what was coming up to them. He always was there and he always will be. Who knew how things were, if he didn't? Her son hated Newport. He had no friends and no hobbies. He even had asked them whether they would like to send him to a boarding school somewhere at the east coast. Only her husband had managed to calm him down and if it was only for a short time.

"What kind of mother am I? My son rather would like to live miles away from us, than together with us and now I haven't seen he's really sick."

"Don't blame yourself. He doesn't want to live in Newport because he has no friends here and they can't stop bullying him. I don't think this is about us. And this? You have so much work on your mind, sometimes things like that can happen then."

"Yes, but they shouldn't happen!" She turned around and went out. She didn't want her son to listen to their conversation. He already was having a bad time.

"See it that way: now you've realized you're working too much and you can change it. Maybe now is the time for you to quit your job and stay at home."

"Quitting my job? Staying at home? Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to survive this? You know I can't hold still for a second and…"

"And you're under too much pressure right now." Her husband said. She sat down on a bench at the wall of the hallway.

"I go and get you a tea. This will calm you down." Her husband said, kneeled down to her and kissed her. She was glad he was there. Only with him at her side she was going to get through this. He was the strong part - the cold headed one, always having a plan, always knowing what to say or what to do.

"Mum, don't worry. Everything will be okay again." She listened to a conversation coming out of the room next to her.

"But we don't have the money to pay for this. I have to go to work."

"With a broken arm you can't work anyway."

"But we can't pay for the treatment." Hearing these words made her feel bad. She never has had to worry about money. If she wanted something, she got it. This was the first time she noticed this wasn't common. She never has had to fear not being able to pay the doctors or the medicine. Her son didn't have to fear this either, because she was there and would move the world to make him feel better. But she hadn't been there earlier, when he had needed her. She hadn't been there this morning. Listening to this conversation was awkward. She wasn't nosey and wasn't interested in other people's life either. But something made her listening to it.

"Mum, I'll find a solution. I'll care for it. Really. You don't have to worry about this." This woman had a son, who cared for her. If Seth would care for her, when he was adult? She doubted it. After this here, she could be glad if he still talked to her.

"What kind of Mum am I? You're my son, I should care for you. It shouldn't be like this." Huh? There was some time every mother had to let go, even if she loved her son. So she wasn't responsible for him anymore. What was this sentence about?

"It's okay. Shit! Sorry, I gotta go."

"Where to?"

"I got a job at the constructions. You know where they build this new shopping centre. They're working day and night and I got the late shift."

"My son the hard working man."

"Yeah, so bye. I come by for a visit tomorrow." When she saw how the door opened, she noticed she had been staring at it through the whole conversation. Immediately she wanted to turn away her head but…what? This…this boy wasn't older than her son. He nodded at her in a greeting way and went off. What had he been talking about to his mother, about caring and his job? He never was able to make her believe he was working at the constructions for the shopping centre. And if yes, she needed too have a serious conversation to one of the contractors, because she wasn't going to allow child labour at her constructions.

"What are you staring at?" Her husband asked her, handing her a cup of tea.

"Have you seen the boy?"

"The blond one who just went off a sec ago?" She nodded. "What's wrong with him?"

"How old do you think he is?" She only wanted to get certain she wasn't going nuts.

"Uh…dunno, sixteen maybe seventeen. Not much older than Seth. Why?"

"He's one of the construction workers for the new shopping centre."

"And where's the problem? He looks like he's hard working man. So I don't think you have to worry."

"Yes, but he's Seth's age. Tomorrow I need to have a conversation with one of the contractors. I can't allow child labour."

"Honey Corona and Chino aren't far away. If you do this you might ruin a life or even more. Just stop thinking about your work."

"You're right." Then she got up and went back to Seth with her husband in tow.


	2. Pride and Prejudice

**A/N:** First of all: **thanks JassyLou** for your co-work. You're a really big, big, help!!! Well, this will be the last up date this week. Unfortunately real life struck me and my private life isn't existend for at least two to four weeks. So I hope you'll be patient with me, because I plan to finish the story. It's all in my head, only the writing takes a little longer ;) So i hope you like it. Have fun and enjoy!

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**_Pride and Prejudice _**

**H**e sat in the principle's office.

"Ryan it can't go on like this. You have to come to school, regularly from Monday to Friday. Not just once in a while." What in hell should he do at school? This was wasted time.

"I know…but this isn't as easy in the moment."

"Which means?" That he wasn't going to talk about his situation at home with his principle. "Ryan, I'm seriously thinking about informing the youth welfare."

"What? Why?" He already had met these people and no, he didn't like them and he didn't like the way they were acting, when they decided your home wasn't good enough. As if their group and foster homes were better. Besides, he already had to work together with a social worker. Wasn't this already enough?

"I can imagine…after what has happened to your brother things aren't working out well at home. But I can't let it go on like this. I have a responsibility towards the students at my school." Man, he hated this understanding-psycho- social-pedagogy. Yes, his brother pissed off a few years ago – three to be exactly – after his Mum's boyfriend of the week had kicked his ass once too often. Yes, his father was jail. And yes his mother has a hard time now and then, but this didn't mean he needed help. He grew up with this. It was nothing new. He had his own way of dealing with his problems.

"I don't know what you mean by that."

"Do I really have to explain it to you? That family conflicts are common in this area is well known, but some cases overstep the limit of tolerance." Limit of tolerance? What did this man want? Couldn't he just tell him he had to do some more extra work, be put in detention for the rest of the year and whatever else they had up their sleeves?

"I don't think this should be discussed here." He answered. He hated it if people started to interfere in his business. It was his family, his private life, his… whatever. Nobody should interfere in this.

"Ryan, your school achievements are suffering due to this and thus it makes it business" Okay, this sounded like serious trouble…shit. He was having a math test yesterday and he'd blown it off. This was going to be his longest vacation ever.

"Your grades are miserable and…now you've missed the test yesterday. You'll stay down this year, if you don't start to come to school everyday, do some extra work and at least show us you're a smart boy. If you agree to this I can persuade your teachers to give you one last chance." Alright, this meant: school in the morning till afternoon, then constructions through the night and maybe three hours sleep. He had to. He would let his Mum down if he had to repeat this year. On the other hand he had to get those bills paid. Things started getting complicated.

"Okay, I'll show up in every class everyday and …"

"Ryan, please, we both know this doesn't work." What was that for?

"Nice and what then?"

"I want to talk to you Mum, but I wasn't able to reach her."

"She's in hospital…broke her arm." Shit! What was he doing? He was navigating himself straight into trouble. "But she'll be out in…about two days." He added hoping it would make it sound a little less serious.

"Ryan, this leads to nothing. Your attendances at school are rare and …no teacher can imagine you showing up here without bruises. Your mother – sorry to say - but she doesn't give the impression that she is able to care for her son. I can't tolerate this." This blew Ryan's top. He was sure this was crossing the principles importance.

"What the fuck are you talking about? You have no idea about anything. Maybe my Mum has a bit a hard time, but of course she can care for me. At least she's the one having a job…and…"

"Ryan your outburst can't hinder me from informing the youth welfare."

"Fuck, you told me first you're only thinking about it…what do you think you're doing?"

"The only right thing I can do in this situation. This conversation has only had convinced me I have to do this."

"And what if I drop out?" This was the only alternative he had left.

"Ryan…"

"Seriously. If I drop out, there's no need for anyone to complain about anything, 'cause then I have enough time for my job." This was the only right thing he could think of right now. This way he wouldn't have to leave his Mum alone and he could care for her the way she deserved. Why did he have to go to school anyway? It was wasted time and only for the affluent who wanted to enter college or university. And that would be exactly where he'd never get to go. So there was no reason for him to stay at school.

"Okay, if it's that serious. Here's the form. Your Mum needs to sign it." The principle handed him the document. He took it.

"But if I haven't received it back at the end of the week, I'll have to take measures. I guess I don't have to describe in detail what I mean." Yeah, yeah, sure. He took the paper and went off.

XXX

He went through the hallways of the hospital. Thanks to his principal he couldn't be there, before surgery. He hated his luck. He was heading towards the waiting area, hoping he could get some information about his Mum's state. He was lost in thoughts and fears and not paying any attention to his surrounding until he bumped into a man and dropped his documents from school.

"Take it easy young man." The stranger said.

"Oh…sorry." He said quickly and kneeled down to get his papers back, but the stranger was faster.

"You wanna drop out from school, huh?" The stranger said when he handed him his document back.

"Do you always read other people's documents?" He bit. He didn't mean to do so. But he was stressed out a little.

"No offence."

"Yeah…sure." He only answered and went to get to know how his Mum was doing. Atwood luck. Nothing.

His Mum was in surgery and nobody had told him anything, which meant he had to wait for her. He sat in the waiting area in ignorance waiting for news. He was sitting on the bench, looking at the clock on the wall when he realized that only two minutes had passed. He was getting nervous. This was just a routine. They only needed to fix the bone, nothing dramatic. But an element of the risk remained and if anything bad happened ?She might…at least it was possible and then he was alone. Stop! He wasn't able to think of this again. His glance swept through the area to the window. He saw the blond woman from yesterday evening. He still wondered why she had stared at him the way she had. Now she stood there staring out the window her arms wrapped around herself. She looked anxious. He saw a dark haired man stepping to her, taking her into his arms. Oh, it was the man he bumped into a few minutes before. This scene looked so comforting, but it hurt to see this. It reminded him of the fact his mother never had someone who had taken her into his arms. This was sad. She deserved it. She had been hard working to raise his brother and him. Sure, not everything was good, but also not everything was bad. His mother sometimes just had some trouble to deal with all of this.

"Ryan Atwood?" A sudden voice came from behind. He got up and a nurse stood in front of him.

"I'm really sorry, but…complications occurred due the surgery and…it will take a little longer until your Mum will be out." This was as if someone pulled the rug out from under him.

"But…she will be okay? Will she?" He asked with shaky voice. Suddenly he had stated to feel cold and he trembled.

"Sorry we don't know now. We have to wait."

"O…okay. Thanks." No, please No! He couldn't lose her! He needed her!! She was his mother. She wasn't supposed to leave him!!!! When she was gone then there would be nobody and he didn't want to be alone and he didn't want to go back into such a foster home. His Mum belonged to him she wasn't allowed to leave him.

"Is there something I can do for you?" The nurse asked him.

"No…no thanks."

"What do you mean with complications?" He heard the woman screaming at the doctor. Wow, she had temper. At least it felt good to know that he wasn't the only one having a bad day. He again started to focus the floor. He didn't want to listen to private conversations.

"That…your son is suffering from a ruptured appendix and … well…due to the surgery occurred some kind of unforeseen bleeding." Thanks. Why couldn't they talk some place else? Only mentioning blood was making him feel sick.

"Do you mean to tell me that my son's bleeding to death?" The man now yelled. Please one more word about blood and he was going to…

"He's only sixteen, how can he lose too much blood due a routine surgery?" Okay, this was too much. He got up, he needed some fresh air.

"Unfortunately this is not all. We need to know if someone of you has the blood type o negative."

"I have, but why?" The man said.

"Our supply of blood preservations matching his blood type is running out." Well, this was bad, but not his business. But why did people raise their voices when it was about some kind of drama? He didn't want to listen to it. So, shut up and start to lower your voice.

"So, it's only you?"

"Yes."

"Then…well, we try. But if you can find another person in your family matching your blood type, don't hesitate to ask them whether they can come here – fast." This was not his business. He didn't even know these people, besides this man was way too nosey for his taste.

"Okay, I'll call my Dad." The woman said. He was on his way out, when he thought: Dude, their son is the same age as I am. Dieing with sixteen? Bad, but possible. In Chino no one knew if they would live to be older than sixteen. It was normal to meet with the death of young people. Life was not fair, never was and never will. Shit. These people – he even didn't know – needed help. He could easily help them – could help to save a life. But hell, look at them. They belonged to a different world where those fancy people didn't even stop the car, after they ran over you! She was crying. He tried to sooth her, but it didn't help. One life. Sixteen years. Same age. He stopped and took a deep breath. He went back and tapped the woman onto the shoulder. Hysterically she turned around and looked at him with a glance I-don't-talk-to-street-kids-like-you. Prejudice fulfilled. Immediately he felt the urge to turn around and run. But he only put his hands up to signalize he didn't want to offend her.

"What?" She asked him harsh.

"Uh…sorry…and I know this was meant to be a private conversation…but I couldn't help over hearing…and…I could help." He stammered. He hated his inability to talk. Even simple sentences didn't come out of him the easy way. She raised her eye brows and started to eyeball him. Well, he wasn't wearing his best clothes - that was true - and yes he had some…little colourful marks on his arms. But hey, he could offer her something she money couldn't buy anywhere. And yes, this woman looked like one of these rich bitches that were used to buy everything they wanted.

"You?" He shrugged his shoulders. Man, this woman was intimidating. Then she looked at his arms.

"Are you a junkie?" Well, this blew his top.

"Okay, sorry. I guess I was mistaken." He said and headed off to leave.

"Wait!" Ouch…someone grabbed his arm. It was the man. "Your blood type…o negative?"

"That's what I told your wife, but as it seems there is no need for my help." He hated these rich people. Always thought they were better than the rest of the world. How could a poor boy from Chino only wanted to offer his help…even his blood? Of course he was infected with all viruses from HIV to hepatitis C.

"I'm sorry for the way she reacted…but her nerves are on the edge. Listen, this is our only son and only the thought she might lose him is driving her insane. She simply has no idea what she's saying. So…can I still take you up on your offer?" Maybe this was one of the lamest excuses he ever had heard but sounded the truth. Someone had told him there were families outside, worrying about their children. He for his part hadn't met on any of those. Nah…Theresa's family, but this only consisted of her Mum and her elder brother.

"Don't worry they run blood tests before they poison their patients." He answered and followed the man.


	3. Football

**A/N** Hey, I'm here again :) Very big thank you to JassyLou for her co-work and of course thanks for your reviews. Well I hope I can fulfil your wishes. Have fun and enjoy :)

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**_Football_**

**I**f ever someone was coming to him - telling that the new generation of youngsters was indifferent and self absorbed - he swore himself he was going to give this someone a piece of his mind. He didn't even know this blond boy who just had stood there with his strong shoulders and offered them his blood. This was anything else than a matter of course. He watched the boy and came to the conclusion young man did match better. Looking at his well trained body made him a little envious, but this was the advantage of youth.

"Nice bruise you got there. Football?" He asked. It felt impolite just to sit there next to him in silence, while they both gave their blood to his son.

"Huh?"

"The bruise on your upper arm, did you get it through a football match?"

"No." This was short. Okay, not everyone was playing football.

"So, why do you want to drop out from school?" He tried to find another topic to talk about.

"Dunno…too dumb I guess."

"Why?" He couldn't imagine someone was too dumb for school. Not everyone was a genius, but c'mon school graduation was at least the lowest level of education reachable to everyone.

"Because the gene pool I emerged from didn't over the best qualifications for an academic career?" The tone was…testy and sarcastic all the same? This wasn't even his son capable of.

"Okay, sorry. I didn't want to touch any sore points." He apologized.

"Listen, Mr…only because I give my blood to your son doesn't mean you have to force yourself to a conversation with me." Bang! This was evil. This boy was rude. Since when did one talk to an unknown adult that way?

"And you don't have to be such disrespectful towards me."

"Not being talkative means being disrespectful?"

"If you don't like to talk you could have said it." Something was wrong about this situation. This behaviour didn't match…he was giving his blood to his son and the same time he behaved like one of these rude kids he had to deal with everyday at work. He was sure, none of them ever would have come to the thought doing, what the boy was doing right now.

It took a while until they were finished. The boy put on his jacket and started to leave.

"Hey, wait…" He stopped him in the hallway. The young man turned around.

"Thank you." He said, looking intensely into these blue eyes, trying that way to show him what he had done for him and his wife. The boy only shrugged his shoulders.

"Is okay. I hope…your son will be okay soon."

"No, wait…" He was reluctant to let him leave like this. Okay, he was a little smug, but hey.

"Is there…anything I can do for you?"

"No, thanks."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah,…I did this because I wanted to help…I don't expect a reward." Huh? This was strange. Not even in Newport - where people had everything they wanted - someone did you a favour without expecting a reward. The boy actually was able to surprise him. Before he was able to say something again, the boy was gone. But he found him again talking to a doctor? Of course…in a sudden he realized the boy wasn't here just for fun, no wonder he was in a bad mood.

"What does it mean I can't see her?" The boy sounded agitated.

"Your mother is moved to the ICU. She's in a critical state." Damn. Poor boy. Hearing this must be hell for him. Stop, was he listening to a stranger's conversation? Man, he was nosey.

"But way? You told me this…was a routine."

"Yes, but…due surgery your mother sustained a crippling stroke."

"What? How?"

"This is exactly what I would like to get to know from you." The doctor answered in a harsh voice. Man, this was a kid. Couldn't he be a little more sensitive, by telling him his mother was very sick?

"How shell I know? I…this is your job."

"Yes and thus we hand every patient a form they have to fill which asks questions about their medical past. Well and your mother's form didn't give any reasons to expect complications like that. What means your mother didn't fill it correctly. So it would be helpful I you now tell me what might have caused the stroke." Snotnosed asshole. He was sure if the doctor wasn't talking to a kid, he wouldn't behave in such way.

"Sorry, I didn't know there was such a form. If I had known I would have filled it for her…but…What the hell do you want from me?!" From awed boy into a mature self-confident and aggressive young man in less than five minutes, this was a development.

"I'm searching for reasons for the stroke."

"I don't know." The boy now said determining.

"That's exactly what I doubt."

"So, you already know what's wrong with her. What do you want then?"

"I want to get it to know from you…just pro forma, to be sure." Oh, oh. There was this ugly high-handed smile on the doctor's face, people used to have when they were aware of the inferiority to the person they were face to face with. How much would he have liked to step in, helping the boy, but he only would make things worse.

"You wanna let me look like a fool, don't you? Just letting me know I'm nothing more than a dumbass never getting far anywhere? So what now when I tell you my Mum's an alcoholic, do you start feel like the greatest dig in the house or what?" Language, boy, watch your language. He reproved him inwardly. But hey, the kid couldn't be that dumb if he noticed what game the doctor was playing.

"That's all in wanted to know, just to be sure…you're really from Chino." This was hard. He watched the boy. His body tensed up and he was clenching his fists. Fact, if he was going to run riot, the hospital was going to need a renovation.

"Can I see her now, please?"

"No, maybe tomorrow." Man, this was hard. This boy only wanted to see his mother a normal natural instinct.

"Sure, it's only a half journey around the world coming here everyday."

"You could have let her admit into another hospital. It's not like we have not enough work without her."

"Fuck you." The boy said and went off. Wow, this was rude. On the one hand he was helping other people, saving other people's life and now this? This didn't match. But he hadn't to care about this. His only concern was his son now.

"Excuse me doctor." He ran after the man who has had the conversation with the boy.

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me where I can find Seth Cohen?"

"The boy with the ruptured appendix?"

"Yes."

"Down the hallway. Thanks of the other donator he'll be fine soon. Besides, do you know who it was?" He loved to do so.

"The boy you've slammed down a few minutes ago." The doctor looked at him - stunned. He went to his wife and his son. He still was asleep and she was holding his hand, gently stroking through his hair. She looked tired.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, how is he?"

"He's tired, but they say he'll be okay soon." He felt relieved. His son was going to be okay again. He promised he stopped working so hard on the problems of others and start to care more for his family. This had shown him he needed to pay more attention to them. They were the most important part of his life. He couldn't risk losing them.

"How are you?" His wife asked.

"Uh…dizzy. I underestimated the effect of a blood donation."

"Honey." She said, got up and kissed him. "Maybe you only need something to eat."

"No, I'm fine. I stay here with you." He wasn't going to leave his family now.

"A few seconds ago you told me you feel dizzy." She had caught him.

"C'mon. Get something to eat and then come back."

"Okay." He kissed her. Only now he noticed he really was hungry. And he was no use for anyone if he started to pass out or run out of energy. They needed hundred percent of him. He went down the hallway and out of the hospital. He had decided not to eat in there. He never had liked the food they served there. On the other side of the street he saw the boy waiting at the bus station. He looked pale and pretty rough. After losing a half litre of blood he probably didn't feel better than he did. He went into a little shop, got tow bottles of water and when he saw the boy still sitting on the other side he decided to go to him. After all he had listened to, the boy perhaps needed some supporting words. The boy was staring onto the ground, not noticing him standing next to him.

"Here you need to compensate the blood loss." He said, handing him a bottle of water. The boy looked up - distrustful.

"Thanks, but I can wait until I'm home." Defensive. This was it. The boy wasn't smug, but defensive. Now his whole behaviour made sense. Honestly, he could have come to that a little earlier.

"And when are you home?"

"Dunno, depends on what time the bus arrives." This was quite exactly, now he knew how far he was from home.

"And how long is the bus ride?" Not being talkative was quite understated in respect to the boy's desire to communicate with others.

"Uhm…two and a half if the traffic isn't as bad, apart from that three."

"Hours?" The boy only shrugged his shoulders and then ducked his head again. He was really far from home.

"I can give you a ride." He offered.

"No, thanks." Well, the boy started to sound annoyed.

"Something to eat?" He was reluctant to give up. But he had no idea what mechanism inside of him pulled him that far. Normally he would have let him go, but there was something between him and the boy what didn't allow him letting him go without anything.

"Please, I already had a shit day and I would appreciate it, if you just leave me alone."

"Sorry, I didn't want to annoy you."

"Don't take it personal, I'm only tired." This sentence…it was wrong. He shouldn't have to apologize for telling a stranger to leave him alone, unless he wasn't such a churlish boy he pretended to be.

"Okay, kid. Just an attempt." He answered and patted his shoulder. He flinched and immediately he knew the boy didn't play football.

He entered the room again and found his wife thumbing through a magazine. She looked up when he came in.

"What I wanted to ask, how much did you give him?" She laid the magazine aside, when he sat down next to her.

"What do you mean?"

"They boy. How much money did you give him?" Huh?

"Nothing." His wife was getting snobbish and he wasn't sure if he liked it. Earlier she never would have asked questions like that. Okay and she probably never had asked a boy who was offering them help, if he was a junkie. But since she was working together with her Dad she had changed.

"Really? C'mon Sandy. I know you always try to persuade me of the good side of these kids. But if they really were good kids you won't have to work with them, right?" He only sighed. It was useless to start a fight about this topic again.

"He even refused my offer to give him a lift home or getting him something to eat."

"You did what?"

"I offered him a lift home, where's the problem?" He hadn't to ask what problem it was. He already knew it. Prejudices.

"Have you looked at him? He easily could have mugged you and beat you to death. Sandy, your benevolence is endangering you."

"Kirsten, there was a time I myself was one of these kids, growing up in a poor area, ruled with crimes and violence, having no perspective. If nobody had helped me out, who knew where I would be now?" He tried to explain her again. But she wouldn't understand. She had stopped understanding the situation of the kids he was working with - kids the boy probably belonged to.

"I know, I know, but you never committed crimes." That was true.


	4. Comic Book

**A/N.:** Okay, after I was told this chapter contains a lot of mistakes, I reworked it. I hope it's better now. And a very big thank you for letting me know. So have fun and enjoy

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**_Comic Book_**

"**M**um, how can you tell me you don't know whom I have to thank for my life?" Her son asked. He felt much better today and she was relieved. But of course he had wanted to know what had happened and she had told him. She had wanted to leave the part out which contains this boy. But her husband didn't agree to that. He was too much of a social worker for her taste. He should be glad someone had helped them and than forgot about it. Not being imagined what background this boy had. At a glance she realized it was no good one and especially not one, she wanted to expose her son to. If the boy refused anything in return, they should be lucky. Hell, what could have happened, if her husband really had brought him home? This boy smacked of crime. For her share she wasn't delighted about getting him to know.

"Mum, are you listening?" Needless to say her son was amazed, after his Dad told him that another teenager had saved his life. He had no friends at school and in his point of view nobody of his schoolmates would have helped him. He was exaggerating from her point of view.

"Yes, honey. I'm listening, but this boy is no good company for you." She pointed out her concerns.

"Hey, Mum how can someone – who saves the life of a stranger – not be good company? For me, this sounds more like a shining example." She sighed. How could she explain her concerns to him?

"Mum, I only want to meet him and thank him."

"Seth, we've thanked him enough, believe me."

"But I want to thank him myself. What about politeness and all this stuff?"

"Okay, I see what I can do. But don't be disappointed, if this meeting is not happening. Okay?"

"Okay Mum, but as we all know: can make everything possible." But whether she wanted to, was another question. She went out and waited for her husband. She needed a serious conversation. If he was one of these good hearted social workers, she accepted it. This was his business and he was strong and able to defend himself. But she didn't allow him taking Seth into the same boat. Seth needed to be protected and these kids were everything else than protective.

"Hey honey, what are you doing here?" Her husband asked.

"Waiting for you. We need to talk."

"Well okay, then talk."

"Seth wants to meet the boy from yesterday…thank him for his help." Her attitude towards this was clear.

"Wow, I never thought our attempt raising Seth was working. But hey, it did." He didn't get it.

"Sandy, I'm not talking about the fact that he knows how to behave properly. It's…it's…"

"This boy. But where's the problem? I go and get him. He says hello and then we'll see how they get along."

"You…you don't want to understand me, don't you?"

"I do…"

"No, you're ignoring my opinion. You're job is already influencing our family life. And now…this job…your job is in Seth's …body and…it's enough. I've shown my good will by accepting your job and your big heart for criminal street kids. But I'm reluctant to accept anymore of that."

"My job? Kirsten, we don't even know this boy. He's not my job. He's not one of those kids."

"What's making you sure about that? Only because his file hadn't ended up on your desk yet, doesn't mean he's innocent."

"But those kids never would have offered their blood to strangers. They wouldn't even offer it to their family member. And under the cover of rudeness the boy knows how to behave. Another sign he's not one to them." She sighed. Why in hell's name was her husband unable to see, how people really were? They weren't nice, self-sacrificing and altruistic…despite Sandy of course. And although this drove her nuts sometimes, this was what she loved about him. But sometimes he went too far.

"C'mon, the boy will say hello and in less then a minute Seth is bound to realize they have nothing in common."

"And how do we find him?"

"His mother's still here. This should be no problem." Defeated. Okay, she tried to look on the bright side of this. Seth got to know some other people…not only these Newport kids. She only hoped he wasn't going to be hurt noticing this boy was no different from the others

Her husband didn't take long to find the boy. From far he didn't look threatening with his ducked head and in his… too large and worn out cloths.

"So, this is my wife." Sandy introduced her to the boy. He lifted his head and shyly shook hands with her. Yeah, she was a little astonished about so much politeness.

"And you are?" She asked him, trying to hide her distrust.

"Uh…Ryan." He answered. He didn't sound as tough as he looked like. It seemed as if he was a very good actor. But she caught everyone who tried to fool her.

"This looks nasty. How did this happen?" She asked pointing onto the bruise on the boy's cheek. He immediately ducked his head again – no wonder. Having to go under people like that has to be embarrassing. What parent allowed his kid going out like that?

"Accident." He shot. Rather called fight, she thought. She looked at her husband and he had a curious expression up on his face.

"So let's go in." She said and led the boy into the room. The boy shyly followed her.

"Well Seth, this is…uh…" Okay, this was not really nice.

"Ryan." The boy stepped in.

"Right. Uh…Ryan had been…had helped us out with… his blood."

"Cool. I don't know how to thank you for that. Really. Until today I thought the whole teenage world would be glad about losing me. So, why did you this? And don't come up with this usual explanations like: we need more heart in our society or stuff."

"Uhm…dunno. Just did it?" The boy answered. He felt uncomfortable. Maybe in this case her husband was right and this boy was a little different from the rest.

"C'mon, just did it…this is the explanation Superman gives you."

"Sorry." The boy nearly whispered. She looked at her husband. She didn't understand what was going on.

"We better leave you two alone." Her husband said and then they went out.

"What's going on in there?"

"As far as I can judge the situation, the boy is really shy and just was taken off his guard by Seth's communicative character. But…you shouldn't have mentioned the bruise on his face. I guess this had made everything worse for him."

"What? Why?"

"Because kids like he don't get bruises through accidents."

"I knew he had gotten into a fight." She watched her husband who only shook his head and sighed.

"Huh?"

"His whole behaviour - defensive and shy, agitated and jumpy. For my Mum this was enough reason to drop over at his home." Now she stopped understanding anything.

"What has your Mum to do with this?"

"The boy is alone here, because of his Mum. He appeared here with a bruise, he hadn't had yesterday. He's … on the one hand he's polite. But if you try to be nice he snaps you. Not really making sense, or?" Now her alarm bells were shrilling. This boy was unpredictable, what meant he was dangerous. And he was lying, got into fights…

"You're right. His whole behaviour really doesn't make sense. And you allow him to meet our son? Did you think of what he might do to hm? What if…" This was enough information for her. She stormed into the room and saw Seth laughing. Seth laughing? Huh? He never was laughing around people at the same age.

"Hey Mum, what's wrong?" He asked. Then the boy looked at her.

"Alright, I better go now." He said. Wow, was he able to read minds.

"Hey wait, uh…Mum…is…is it okay if he comes by tomorrow and … you know as long as I'm here?" A mother's heart was fighting. The one part was happy to see Seth being able to make friends. The other part was frightened about what kind of friend they were. She looked at the boy who intensely stared at the floor - only looking at her through the corner of his eye. Then she looked at her husband, whose glance said well-done-super-Mum-now-tear-down-his-hope.

"Well…I dunno…was it okay with you…uh…" Again she had forgotten his name. Nobody had told her she needed it again. The boy shrugged his shoulders.

"If…if you don't mind." He answered. She hated people who were able to read her mind, because they were able to make her feel bad and she hated to feel bad.

"C'mon Mum, he never has read a comic book, what means he had missed a lot of fun in his life. This needs to be changed."

"Well, what else can I say?" She answered.

"Cool, then…we'll see us tomorrow?"

"Yeah." The boy said turned around, shyly waved to them and then left.

"He never had read a comic book?" She asked. This was, what kids grew up with.

"That's what he told me. So can someone of you bring my collection of Legion? That would be cool."

"I take care of that." Her husband said. Something was wrong. Why did she find it curious that a teenager never had read a comic book before? Maybe there was a simple explanation? Why did she care anyway? She didn't even like this boy. He was dark and shady.

She was frustrated. They all wouldn't sit in this mess, if the doctors hadn't made this mistake. Appendicitis is that rare, making it impossible coming to the conclusion it might be the reason for horrible stomach aches. She was Kirsten Cohen, born Nichol and these bastards would learn how to do their job properly. She stormed down the hallway. There she saw it again. This blond, dusty hair. He sat in one of the patient rooms with huge windows, thus everybody could see who was in there. Being sick and forced to recover in a hospital was bad. But being seen by a bunch of strangers must be worst of all. Es…especially when one had a tube in one's throat? She slowed down to get a good look into the room. There was a blond turgid woman, hooked onto machines and this tube. Next to her sat the boy…whose name she had forgotten again. She felt her heart clench. If she had known…she probably would have been a little nicer towards him…at least not that rude. She couldn't change, but stop and watching the scene. The boy was gently rubbing the back of his mother's hand. He was talking to her. The walls surrounding the cheap patient rooms weren't thick. She didn't plan to eavesdrop. Hell…she was a nosey Newport-woman.

"Hey Mum, it's me…uhm I know…you probably don't feel much too well, but…I need you…at least a little awake…I mean…don't worry about the money and stuff. I'm really taking care of it…but school is a little difficult right now…so I need you to sign a form. Uh…and A.J. is a little aggressive, thus be glad you're not home. This way he can't…uh…you know what…his…little. Forget it. Uh…you know I suck at talking, so I just stay a little longer…in silence."

After the boy stopped talking, she immediately went down the hallway. A.J. was this a dog? She always had said: no dog at home, if her son wasn't able to take care of it on his own. And now she had listened to what this could lead to. School is difficult? He should be glad. Being at work with a real job was even harder. On the other hand, the boy never had read a comic book, maybe he - she felt bad for this thought – just wasn't smart enough and then of course school could be hell. She was glad Seth hasn't these problems. And the money? This was her proof the boy was a little delinquent. But no, her husband knew everything better. She only hoped the boys noticed themselves they weren't a match for each other.


	5. Essential Life Supporting Measures

**A/N:** So, here's another chapter. Sorry for the lengthe of my story. But I put a lot of heart into it, what makes it a little complicated to be less detailed. Thanks for your rewies, but don't hesitate to leave some criticism, ideas or suggestions. I'm open for everything ;) So have fun and enjoy

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_**Essential life supporting measures**_

**T**he boys had become good friends and he was happy about it. Of course his wife had several concerns about this relationship. But first of all: laughing was the best method for a fast recovery and second of all: it was time Seth was getting a friend. Maybe this way he could prevent him to assert his wish entering a boarding school at the east coast. He for his part never would be able to cope with it. Even the thought hurt. And who knew? Maybe this blond boy managed to let Seth stay here, at least a little longer - until he had graduated. But there also was something he worried about. This boy was sixteen years old. Shouldn't he be with someone else when he was visiting his mother? Added to that, the boy didn't seem to be as unworried as he was supposed to be with his sixteen years. He more seemed as if he was carrying a lot on his shoulders. He didn't like the thought he might have some problems he had to deal with on his own. He decided to start a new attempt. He enjoyed the sound of laughter coming out of the room. He listened a little to their conversation.

"School? Are you kidding? It's hell. I mean with all these assholes…using my sneakers as…toilette." His son said and he felt sad about it. They knew about these problems but never had been able to do something against it.

"That's bad. But…can't you just ignore them…or something?"

"Ignore them? Man they're like these football players only worse."

"Then…just don't let them get you down."

"What about your school? Is it cool?"

"Uhm…yeah…no…uh…well actually I'm not attending school anymore." What? This boy had been serious about this? He didn't look like that.

"Oh…and…what are you doing now?"

"Work…well I have to find a new job, because I got fired at my last one. But that's what I'm doing." Fired? Kirsten! How was she able to? This boy probably needed the job if he dropped out from school but went to work. Hell, this was the wrong direction. These kids dropped out from school and their files found their ways onto his desk. There were no jobs – despite illegal ones.

"Sorry to hear. So, working is much more fun then going to school? I can imagine. I rather would like to have my own comic…nah graphic novel store than having to go to school. I'm sure you're glad your parents let you do this? If I would ask my parents whether they allow me to drop out they would ground me four weeks - even for this thought."

"Sometimes…you…just have no choice."

"Uhm…do you mind, well…can we stay in contact? I mean tomorrow I can go home…and I thought it would be fun if we could spend some time together." He was sad how hard his son tried to make some friends. But even harder to bear was the fact that most teenagers only were polite and when they found the slightest hole to escape just ran.

"Sure, but…" Now it came. He prepared himself to comfort Seth, when he realized this boy was just no different from the others.

"I don't…have a mobile or internet." Huh? How were people able to survive nowadays without these essential life supporting measures?

"Landline."

"Okay…uh…but don't…well, sometimes my…Mum just forgets to pay the bills though…you know." The boy sounded so uneasy.

"Oh, okay no matter. I give you my number you can call me."

"That's great. I call you…but…may take a little while…but promised. So, sorry I gotta go now. A.J.'s gonna be little pissed when I'm too late."

"Okay, see ya then."

The door opened and the boy came out, his head ducked. The longer he listened to the boy, the more he got an insight into the life behind these blue eyes – too often sad and dark.

"Hey! Everything's fine?" He asked the boy.

"Yeah." He answered, not lifting his head.

"So, you become pretty good friends, what?" He just wanted to know how things worked between them. He needed to show his wife that not every boy from the wrong area was a bad boy.

"Yeah, guess."

"He's an interesting kid."

"He's cool." These words without hesitation or undertone made his heart jump of joy. Wow, the boy…surprised him even more. A teenager who liked … was a friend of his son. This was the best news ever since they had gotten to Newport Beach.

"Can I give you a ride home today?" In somehow he had won an interest in this kid.

"No thanks. A…someone's picking me up." The boy was reluctant to look at him.

"Okay, then good evening."

"Yeah, thanks…for you too." And then the boy went off. He watched him going when his wife appeared in the hallway with her usual busy walk. She started waving when she saw him and he waved back. She came towards him and gave him a kiss.

"Hey honey. How was the day?" She asked.

"Quiet. And how about your?"

"Don't even ask. The usual trouble with the contractors and then my Dad. You know he can't finish a project soon enough."

"But now you're here and your job is far away." He answered. He didn't even want to start a conversation about her job. This only would lead to trouble and this was not the right time for it. Well, it never was the right time for arguing. But they needed to focus on Seth and the question why they hadn't realized earlier how miserable his state of health had been.

"This was the boy wasn't he?" She asked him. Inwardly he started to sigh. Again she had put on the look I-don't-want-my-son-hang-around-with-little-street-kids on her face.

"Yes he was." He only stated, hoping she would leave it with that.

"I can't tell you how glad I am that Seth is never going to see this boy again. He only would get him into trouble and … I just can't imagine Seth being friends with someone like this."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but as far as I'm in the know, they became pretty good friends and plan to see each other…frequently." Okay he was exaggerating. But first of all he was proud of his son, not being one of these Newport-spoilt-superficial-materialist-kids and second of all he didn't like his wife talking this way about a boy she didn't even know. Man, he hadn't been any better in this age and she knew that. In somehow it hurt him, knowing she never would have spoken a word to him, if he hadn't gotten a chance to flee from the place of misery to a world…like Newport Beach. Yes, the way his wife used to talk – although she never had done so until her Dad had come back from Europe starting to stress her more as necessary – was a little offending. But he didn't dare to tell her. It wasn't the right time for talking to her about things like that.

"Oh…I forgot the comics I bought for Seth in the car. Could you, please?" How was he able to refuse this? Only the way she was saying this made her sexy and cute at once. Man, no matter what was going on with her in the moment, he never could stop loving her. This was for sure.

"Of course." She kissed him and then handed him the keys.

Outside he saw the boy leaning against a wall, smoking and nervously watching now and then onto the clock on the other side of the street. Hadn't he told him something about someone who was picking him up? Well either it was a lie or this someone was a little late. He saw how a white rotten car drove up to the boy. He wasn't nosey he only wanted to get to know something about this boy. Well he was nosey. He was a lawyer. He got paid for being nosey.

"Hey punk, hurry up." A harsh voice screamed. The boy immediately ducked his head and went towards the car.

"Hurry up, I don't have time like a dime a dozen!" He wasn't able to see all from far, but this man had huge tattoos on his arms.

"Yeah." The teenager growled and got in.

"Don't even start to be smug." And then the man slapped the back of the boy's head. It wasn't a gentle slap. It was…well…rough.

"Why in hell's name do I do this to myself? Can you tell me?"

"That you con go on sponging off my Mum?" The result of this sentence showed him, it was the wrong answer. The man kicked the boy violently out of the car, who fell with a heavy thud onto the hard ground. His chest tightened. He felt an urge to run to the boy and ask whether he was okay. But this was the worst he could do. The boy would feel embarrassed and shut down. There had been enough cases like these on his desk. He knew these files inside out. Now these bruises started to make sense.

On the other hand, there were enough reasons this might be an outstanding situation. At least his mother was in hospital. Every normal household would break down under such a loss. It was understandable if the situation at home was a little strained because of this. He watched how the boy got onto his feet and went to the bus station. He didn't seem to bother that this man had thrown him out of the car – a little violently.

After he incidentally looked onto his watch he noticed he had been gone for quite a while. He hurried to the car to get the comic books and then ran back to his son and his wife.


	6. Skateboard, Bike & Girls

**A/N:** Hey! Very BIG thank you to my co-worker. I hope you like it, the story begins to move. Suggestions, crticism, ideas are very welcome! Have fun and enjoy

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**_Skateboard, Bike & Girls_**

**H**e cleaned the tables. He was pissed. After he got fired at the constructions he had to find something new. And the first and best thing was this job as waiter in a snack bar nearly two hours away from home. But he had no other choice. His Mum still was in coma and the bills for the hospital needed to be paid. He couldn't demand A.J. to pay any cent of it. Not, that it wasn't appropriate - at least it was his fault his Mum broke her arm and now still was in hospital. He couldn't demand it, because afterwards he'll keep company with his Mum and this was the last thing he needed now. The advantage was this job wasn't as hard as the one at the constructions and he got well paid - so, no reason to grump about.

But his free time was rare – he had none. He had felt bad about not calling Seth. He really had liked that guy. But there was no money left for the telephone bills and anyway, when he was home it mostly was too late to call anyone. He definitely didn't belong to the lucky people in respect to interpersonal relationships.

"Hey, thought you weren't existent anymore." Someone said right behind him. He turned around.

"Hi…what…what are you doing here?" He felt how he blushed. How was he going to explain him? He…he never would even look at him when he noticed from which side of town he was – that it hadn't been a joke.

"The Crab Shack is my favourite diner. And you're working here now?"

"Told you I need to find a job and this…was the first one I got." Well and now this spoilt and rich boy figured out what he had gotten into. He only hoped he wasn't going to make his disgust too obvious.

"Cool. Well then we have an opportunity to see us, regularly." What? No sniff of disgust? No insulting comment? Okay, there was something coming up to him, he hadn't already expired. Well, he hadn't thought there was still something left.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Hu? Uhm…yeah…just a little confused. Hadn't count on seeing you here."

"Oh, okay. Then how many hours do you have left?"

"Two." C'mon, show me I'm beneath your dignity.

"Cool, are you too tired or would you like to hang out later then?" His distrust wasn't going to ease off. No, it was increasing with every word the boy was saying. There was a catch and he only was too stupid to find out what it was. But he also was too despaired to say no. He was in a fucked up situation. If he said no and Seth didn't belong to the usual rich kid assholes, he was risking a growing friendship. If he said yes and Seth did belong to those kids, he was going to meet the hard ground of reality. And he wasn't sure if he was able to bear this in his current situation. But the lack of working interpersonal relationship made him despaired.

"Sure."

"Cool, then at the pier." Seth said and then went off. Hey, at least he could hope this was going to be fun. And now he had a perspective to get through the rest of the day.

The last two hours passed by faster as usual. It was six now and he knew the longer he stayed, the later he would get home, what meant a few hours less sleep. He still had to be up half past six to be at the Crab Shack in time. Hell, he needed a life after his job. Otherwise he was close going nuts. When he went out the pier he saw Seth waiting for him with his skateboard.

"Hey." Seth greeted him then they bounced fists. "So what are you up to?" Why does he ask me? Do I look like I know what the fancy people around here are doing?

"Dunno. What are you doing usually?"

"On a Thursday at this hour? Homework." Okay, then he should do them or? But if he didn't do them only because of him? Wait the catch? This was it or? He wanted to show him: I do my homework, because I will go to College and you're just the poor scum cleaning up my dirt.

"Hey, you're looking again like that."

"What?" He was confused. This boy really watched ever single movement of every single fibre of his body.

"Do you tell me what this look means?"

"Huh?"

"Okay, you were in thoughts. Happens sometimes. So do you want to help me with my homework or what?" He only shrugged his shoulders. He was a little overwhelmed by Seth. He had known he belonged to the stormy guys, but he just wasn't used to it.

"Dude you need to learn how to make decisions." Seth said, patted his shoulders and then rolled off with his skateboard. He followed him with his bike. They passed the beach. It still was crowded. It seemed as if Newport didn't know any kind of ugliness. There was no one with tattoos like A.J.'s. There was no one wearing old, dirty cloths and immediately he felt being in the wrong place. He didn't belong here. These people seemed to be too happy for his taste. He had no idea where Seth took him to. But they passed those streets, where children were playing outside with their parents watching them. Then they stopped in front of a huge gate. It was one of those which led to these fancy over expensive private streets. Well, Seth went on and entered the street. He started to feel queasy in somehow. He didn't want to be here. This place wasn't supposed to be seen by him.

"Hey, what are you waiting for?"

"Hu, sorry." He answered. It didn't take long and they stood in front of one of these huge houses – more a mansion. Seth went up the stairs to the doors. No way. This was …no.

"Hey do you want to stay there?"

"Uhm…I…I don't think … I have to go." He said. He suddenly felt the urge to run. This wasn't his world. He never should have gone with Seth. Why had he? He knew they were from different worlds. He wasn't supposed to be here.

"Why?" Then he saw this sad glance on his face. I hate my life.

"I…can't we just go somewhere else?"

"Why? This is my home."

"But I don't think you're parents will be too happy about seeing me around here. Seth, I don't belong here."

"Me neither and my parents don't care. And despite, I thought you wanted to help me with my homework?" What? Did he take it serious? Well, why not. He always had liked it when he had done homework together with his friends. It was easier then – more fun.

"Yeah but…"

"Nothing but. I bet you're hungry after a whole day work in the Crab Shack and my rents aren't home anyway." He wasn't sure. What if this was a catch? What if he now used this to show him, he was nothing more than…from Chino.

"C'mon." And then he pulled himself and went with Seth. When he was inside he was stunned. This was huge and it was beautiful. He had thought this only existed in Hollywood's fantasy.

"Impressive, what?" Seth asked. He only nodded. "Are you hungry?"

"Uh…no, thanks." Wow, this was not true. No normal person was living in such a mansion. This was impossible.

"Okay, but something to drink." And then Seth led him into a huge kitchen. It was bright and huge. Well, the whole room – even the hall – had the size his entire home had.

"Here." Seth gave him a can of coke and then led him to the dining room. On the table lay several books, paper and pens.

"Your homework?" He asked.

"Math. Man, normally school is nothing. But after this one week hospital there is just too much to catch up with. This school really is hell. I don't know why my parents don't allow me to go to a normal high school. No, it has to be this private elite school." Wow, this boy really had a life. There were no wishes left. He even hadn't been able to pay the book fee and he had been on a public high school.

"Well I try to convince my parents to send me to a boarding school at the east coast, but they still say no."

"Why do you wanna leave?"

"I hate this place here. My parents just decided I have to live here without asking me first. At least in Berkley I had some friends, but here? Nothing. I'm only the nerd, death bread Seth." This sounded hard. But moving away from the parents? He never even had considered leaving his Mum.

"My Mum just decided we have to move without asking me as either."

"Really? Where're you from?" Shit. He hadn't considered this question. If…he…what could he do now?

"Fresno."

"Oh…and was it better there?" Was it better there? He wasn't sure. It had been dry, hot and dirty. The people had been the same. His life had been the same…no it hadn't. He has had a father then and hadn't to deal with all these guys his Mum used to bring home.

"In somehow." He just answered.

"Well, maybe I have a reason to stay. At least I have found someone who understands me." Yes, in somehow he understood Seth, although they were so different: like night and day and he was the night – hundred percent.

"So do you really want to help me?"

"Why not?" How was Seth doing this? He lived in such a house, while he told him he was from the poorest area, without making him feel that bad.

"Okay and then I'll show you me comic collection. Did you find time to read Legion already?"

"Uh…no." The time wouldn't be a problem. He only needed the money for other things as there were groceries and stuff.

"Man I don't envy you. But now you're here. Time to relax and think of something else. Nah, we should start this relax thing after my homework. I tell you this teacher is a kind of Frankenstein monster: huge, ugly and monosyllabic. He didn't even pay attention, when I tried to explain him that I hadn't done my homework, because I've been sick for one week. I hate this man. Seriously, if I could I would take his toupee and use it as a mop." He couldn't do anything else than laugh about the grimace Seth was making. This boy really had a unique attitude. Maybe a little more humour wouldn't harm him either. At least when Seth talked about things which depressed him, it didn't sound like the world broke apart through this. When he started to do so, people always got the feeling as if it was the worse thing on earth - as if he was close to the edge or something.

It was quiet late when he was on his way home. He knew A.J. won't be too happy about him coming home late, but he couldn't change it anyway.

"Hey, hey Ryan. Man, look, there over there…" He turned his head into the direction Seth was pointing at.

"No, you can look, but not the way you look, right?" Now he was confused.

"Do you see her? This tiny beautiful girl?" Seth went on. But he had no clue what he was talking about. What he saw were two thin and long legs, long wavy hair and an exceedingly beautiful face with light green eyes. Wow, she was hot and yes, staying cool in his pants right now wasn't the easiest challenge right now. He never had seen a girl like that.

"Do you see her? The dark brunette hair? That's Summer Roberts. I told you about her. So, what do you think?"

"Wow." He only managed to say. Honestly, he hadn't listened to what Seth had been saying.

"Wow? Wow like, she's okay for a friend or wow like, I want to have her? I mean, I don't want our friendship being destroyed through a girl. So I would be glad if you told me, you like her as girl for me."

"Who's the other girl?" He only asked.

"The skinny bitchy one? She's my neighbour. Marissa Cooper. She thinks she's so much better than me. She can't even say hello when we meet." Skinny? Well, it suited her. Bitchy? This handsome face? Never. He knew enough bitchy girls to be able to judge whether one belonged to them. And this girl was hundred percent not bitchy. I really would like to know whether she was a good lay… . Shit! He should stop this damn Chino-behaviour. But hell, she stood there short skirt and tight top. He wasn't able to think of something else.

"Why don't we say hello?" He suggested. You not only need to dream, you need to act.

"Are you mad or something? We can't go over to them. They're belonging to a complete different league: popular, beautiful, rich. You know. I…"

"Seth, you're parents are rich too and…you don't look as if you're related to Quasi Modo. So where's the problem?" Seth really suffered from a huge lack of self-confidence.

"There." Seth pointed at a huge black pick up truck. The girls got in and drove by. From close she looked even more beautiful. If he ever will get the chance to talk to her? Probably not. He was from the wrong area and it was obvious. He never was able to deny the fact he didn't belong here.


	7. Concerns versus Prejudices

**A/N:** Hey, sorry for the late update, but I have a lot of work to do and I have to rework all chapters I've already written. I didn't know that complete original is better than sticking to the plot of the pilot. But now I know it and I'm glad, because I can use a lot of my own ideas :) So, please patient with me. And again a very big thanks to my co-worker, without whom I still won't have reworked my story ;)

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**_Concerns versus Prejudices_**

**W**hat in earth had gotten into her husband? He had came into her office at noon and told her they were going to have lunch together and now they sat in the Crab Shack. Not that she didn't like the Crab Shack. It was better than all these over expensive restaurants. No, she was positively surprised by her husband. She saw him in the morning and in the evening, never due her work time.

"Now you have to tell me, what you're planning." She told her husband.

"Don't you trust me?"

"No, not in this specific case." She said jokingly.

"Well you blamed me for not having enough time for my family and here I am. You were right. We need to change our current situation." Wow. Now she was impressed. She never had thought her husband would drop his job only for a second for her or their family.

"And what led you to this insight?"

"After this whole debacle with Seth, I realized I haven't noticed anything and this was wrong. I'm his father and I should have noticed he wasn't feeling well. And I should have noticed you're overworking yourself." She was overworking herself? Since when? She hadn't noticed it.

"Sandy I'm glad you start to care a little more about our son, but I'm fine, really."

"No, you're not. You're overstrained. After Caleb came back you're working ten hours and more. Seth only sees you five minutes in the morning and for dinner in the evening. This isn't enough. A boy in his age still needs both his parents." Oh my God, I've created a monster. She only had wanted him to leave his job out of their family. She didn't want him to be a super nanny.

"Sandy I appreciate you want to be there for us. But I have my job under control."

"No, you haven't. We never had so many arguments before and … hell Kirsten we're fighting about nonsense. That's what got me worried. We have to change this." She sighed. He was right. They had a lot of arguments lately. But they weren't serious.

"Sandy I can't drop my job only because you think we have too many arguments per month. Sometimes it just happens." She calmed him. He made her thinking. He was right. She had been working quite a lot. She hadn't noticed Seth being seriously sick, although he had told her. And yes, she sometimes had the feeling as if her job just was too much for her. But if she admitted it, her husband had won and what then? Tell her father she wanted to step back in her job? Never. He would fire her, if she came up with that. On the other hand Seth and Sandy were her family. Her father never had been there for her. She never had felt too close to him. Their relationship was a mess. Her Mum's death had left deep cracks. But they had to work together and she loved her job. She always had wanted a job like this and her father was offering it to her. She couldn't refuse it. I can try to work from home and then…Seth would be as alone as he was when I'm in my office.

"What are you thinking about?" Her husband dragged her out of her thoughts.

"About what you've said. Looks as if my day is ruined." She growled. She hated it. These thoughts were going to occupy her mind for the rest of the day and she wasn't going to get along with her work.

"Kirsten…"

"Sandy, just let order something to eat. That's why we're here, right?" She cut him off. She didn't need anymore of his lectures. Jesus what was wrong with this man - first his idea Seth and this street kid being friends, and now his idea about them being a family. Her husband raised his arm to give one of the waiters a sign they were ready to order. A blond boy…no way. This was a bad joke – a very bad one. She didn't look up. She had hoped this was over. What was he doing here? He didn't belong here.

"Hey kid, how are you?" Why did her husband have to be nice and polite to these kids? She wished he would ignore the fact they knew him. What if Julie was here and saw her and her husband talking to this boy? This was going to be the hottest gossip around whole Newport: Kirsten Cohen and the street kid - hidden obsessions.

"Uh…good. Thanks. So, what can I…get you?"

"You? Nothing." She said. Why had she said this? What? This…damn. This was even new to her. She was able to stay above these things. Why did…she was shocked be her own behaviour.

"Okay, I go and get someone else." The boy said and went off. Her husband's was shooting darts of incomprehension at her.

"Was this necessary?" He asked her harsh.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it. Don't know what had gotten into me." She tried to apologize. But her husband didn't show any sign of understanding. Well, in this case…this hadn't been quite nice. But this was nothing but a…it was a kid and probably one, who didn't need her to give him a hard time.

"What did he do to you?"

"I dunno. I'm just afraid okay?" She didn't want to justify towards her husband. He knew her. He should understand her. Why else were they married for over twenty years now?

"Afraid of what?"

"That he might meet Seth?"

"And where's the problem? They became pretty good friends. What's wrong with that?"

"I don't trust him and I need to protect my son." No matter what the boy had done, it didn't change the fact that he wasn't from here – probably from one of these poor and criminal areas like Chino.

"And you think keeping him away from a friend protects him? You'd better be home more. Then you can protect your son." This blew her top. How could he dare talking to her like this?

"That Seth ended up in hospital is not only my fault. You've been ignorant yourself."

"Yes, I know, but I try to change this and I try to let Seth make friends. Whether I like the person he hangs around with isn't important. His well being, this is what should be our main concern."

"So, you think it's okay to endanger him by letting him meet these criminal boys?"

"You don't know whether he's criminal."

"Do you know he's not?" With these words the lunch was over. And yes, her husband was right. A few months before, they never had come to the idea fighting because of some boy they didn't even know. But in the moment they didn't need much to rip into each other.

The rest of the dinner went in silence. They were barley talking to each other and it became clear to her they needed to change something. Their relationship wasn't supposed to get interrupted by a boy they hardly knew.

They got home. They had decided they needed to sort things out. She took Friday off, so they had the whole weekend as family. Seth was sitting in the living room playing his video games. Despite his sailing lessons and his Wednesday trip to the comic store he had not much reason to go out. While all other teenagers were out at the beach, surfing and swimming, he never left the house. She again got aware of how alone he was since they moved from Berkeley here.

"Hey, what are you doing home that early?" And this question made her aware they weren't around much either. No wonder Seth tried to bond with some kind of stranger.

"We just decided for a long family weekend." She answered.

"Cool." This was all her boy was able to say to this. He wasn't going over the bridge this will last long. And he was right. One call from her father to the wrong time and she would break this weekend for her job. Maybe she had luck this time and there was no incoming emergency call waiting for her.

"Do you wanna know whom we met?" Her husband asked. Seth shook his head. She wanted to stop him, but it was too late.

"This boy…Ryan or something. You know from hospital. He's working at the Crab Shack."

"I know." What! Okay, he knew and he hadn't met him. She hadn't to worry about this. Relieve spread through her body. This boy wasn't going to endanger her son.

"I met him yesterday. I brought him here and he helped me with my math homework." This was it.

"You did what?" She screamed hysterical as she used to do it, when she had the feeling things got out of control.

"I brought him home."

"Seth, how could you dare? You don't know him. He could have done God knows what to you. You're such a smart boy, why are you that naïve?"

"Mum, he didn't do anything to me. He's not a bad guy. He really helped me…"

"Seth, he's not going to school. He can't help you with your homework." She didn't want her son starting to lie because of someone.

"But Mum, he's really in the know in this math stuff."

"Seth, I don't care. I don't want you to bring him home again. Did you get that?"

"But Mum? How can you do this to me? The first time I meet someone who's not pissing into my sneakers, but really likes to hang out with me and you want to forbid me this? What a shit is it?"

"Seth I don't want this language in my house."

"Well then it's better if I go." Her son got up and passed her by.

"Where are you going?" She wasn't going to let him through with this. He was her son and he obviously had no clue of what was good for him and what not. What meant she had to decide for him, if he liked it or not. Sooner or later he was going to thank her for that.

"Go and see Ryan."

"No, you don't!"

"You can't stop me or do you want to lock me up in my room for the rest of my life?"

"You're right. I can't control whom you meet with outside. But I would be disappointed if you go on meeting this boy."

"Then I'll apologize for being such a disappointment for you." Her son said and then slammed the door.

"Well done." Her husband said.

"You could have helped me."

"No, not in this case. I think Seth has a right to meet whom he wants to."

"But…"

"But what? You've heard what he had said. And maybe you're completely wrong with all your prejudices."

"So, you like the idea he's probably meeting with some kind of criminal?"

"No. But I also don't think of everyone who comes from a poor area as criminal. Hell Kirsten, I grew up there too. I know that not everybody who grows up in the wrong area must be a delinquent and I'm glad Seth seems to think the same way." But her husband had gone to school and hadn't worked in a cheap dinner. Her husband had attended Berkley University, some place this boy never was going to.

"But you were different. You were smart and you used your skills to make something out of them. You got far from where you come from. You can't compare yourself with such a boy." Her husband never had behaved like this boy – rude and smug. Her husband has had style and he had been a man of honour. She had been able to trust him from the second she had met him. The boy and her husband were tow complete different worlds.

"You're right. But I only got that far because I had people who helped me and this boy has nobody. He can't effort attending school, no matter whether he wants to or not. And…I feel as if I have to give something of the luck back that was given to me. Why can't you understand this?"

"Why do I still talk to you about this topic? You aren't listening or even understanding me anyway." She said and went off. The long weekend was ruined. She for her part was going to spend as much of it in her office - avoiding her husband and his insults. She was fed up with it. Why in hell did she have to understand everything, when nobody understood her? This wasn't fair.

"Where do you wanna go?"

"To work. I can't stand the atmosphere here anymore."

"Why not?" Her husband screamed after her.

"Because you don't understand _me_!" She was full of frustration and did what she hadn't done a long time ago: screaming. If her husband knew what happened inside her, every time she saw the boy and every time she realized the relationshipt between him and her son was grwoing, he wouldn't talk to her like that.

"Then give up your prejudices!"

"Between concerns and prejudices is a huge differece. I'm only worried about my son and you should either. But no, you're Sandy Cohen the guard of the poor and criminals!"


	8. Girls, boyfriends & Chino

**A/N.: **Here I am again :) Thanks a lot for your reviews. And I know you all want Kirsten to be nice, but you have to wait a little. A very big thank goes to my little co-worker again!!! So have fun and enjoy

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**_Girls, boyfriends & Chino_**

**A**fter his job he was going to meet Seth again. It was good to know someone, who wasn't always on drugs or drunk. He lit a cigarette and enjoyed the clear air of the evening.

"Hey, you're not from here?" Someone…a girl…a really…natural beautiful girl asked him. It was…her. Seth's neighbour.

"Nope." He answered. She looked drop-dead gorgeous. But she had realized he wasn't from here. She would let some kind of damn joke slip and then telling her whole cheerleader friends how she got rid of some kind of poor guy.

"What are you doing here?" She was nosey. But he forgave her for that. Her beauty was able to apologize for everything and the expression on her face said she knew it. A self confident and beautiful girl.

"Waiting." He would do everything to make this conversation last longer.

"Waiting for?" She asked him back, now standing in front of him - with a huge smile plastered over her face.

"Seth Cohen."

"No idea who that is." Okay, this was a little off-key, in his opinion. And no, this wasn't fair.

"Your neighbour."

"Looking like a beanpole and wearing a mob on his head." Alright. Either she was superficial or she didn't know him – what would lead to the same assumption.

"You're neighbours and you don't even know his name? How low is that?" He answered.

"Sorry, but it's not like he's talking to me." She snapped at him. She had temper under her surface. If this here would be Chino, he would ask her whether she wanted to go some place else and…But this was not Chino, so he had to hold back his fire.

"And who are you?" She asked him smug. Now it was a question whether to answer in his Chino way or in a more polite one. The first option could make her feel offended – as she wasn't from there - and then he would never see her again. The second one could make him seem boring. Well, he was boring. Despite his job there was nothing else in his life. He looked straight into her eyes. They were clear and told him, she was only putting up a show. This behaviour didn't match her eyes. No, she wasn't one of these cheap Chino-girls.

"Ryan. Ryan Atwood. And you are?" He answered.

"Marissa Cooper. Nice to meet you."

"Hey sucker, piss off! And stop talking to my girl." A huge blond guy came up to him. He had entered his territory and the way he looked at him, it was wrong.

"Actually she was talking to me."

"Searching for trouble?" He had to bite his tongue not to say something stupid. He was more than likely to teach this guy a lesson. But this only would lead to trouble. And because he was the one from Chino, he would be the one who was going to carry the can for the mess.

He only shrugged his shoulders. This incident showed him it was time to leave. But where was Seth? He couldn't just leave and not telling Seth why and where. It was difficult not to turn around and plant a punch into this snobbish face. He had to pull himself together. He couldn't allow himself this.

"Hey!" Wow that was timing. Seth rolled by on his skateboard.

"Hi."

"So what's up?" How was this boy able to be happy and cheerful all twenty-four hours a day?

"Nothing, why?"

"Uhm…well, it's Friday, so it's weekend. What means every normal teenager had planed something, like going out tonight and stuff." Oh, yes…this was an option to think about. On the other hand, parties in Chino had brought only trouble for him. Thus he better stayed home, although what did he call home? It was the place he slept, when he wasn't thrown out.

"Not me." He only answered. He didn't want to bother Seth with his problems. As it seemed he was struggling enough to survive here. He always had thought it was easy to live in a place like this one. But after a few weeks of working here, he had realised that he preferred Chino. If there someone didn't like you there, he told you so and kicked your ass – no false politeness, no lies…okay lies where more than common in Chino, but they were different.

"So what about driving around and grabbing a snack? I'm starving." He said. "Besides, there's Marissa what means Summer must be somewhere around here and maybe you can give me some tips. You know - how to make her seeing me and stuff." He whispered.

"Okay, why not?" So they drove a long the pier. Honestly, he enjoyed this kind of time out more than all these Chino parties. After they grabbed some pizza they went to the beach.

"So, you're from Chino, right?" He only nodded. Oh my God. Now the investigation started and he hoped Seth didn't want details.

"And…it's not that I'm like my Mum - with all these prejudices and so on. But – you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to – have you been in jail?" What? He hadn't asked that or? What now? He could say no and then he would lie to his first and only friend – not fair. He could say nothing – his testimony for yes.

"And?" Seth looked at him. He gave him the only answer he was able to give him - a half-hearted smile. Had been nice to meet him. Now here is where we part ways.

"And…you've been? I mean…you don't look like someone like…you know huge and tattooed, dark and in somehow aggressive. Hey, you like doing my math homework. You must be kidding are you? You're making fun off me right?" He only shook his head. His mood was shitty now.

"But hey, I don't care as long as you don't try to mug me. You don't want to tell me or? Like how long you've served a stretch or why, or? Not that I want to be indiscreet, but this opens new doors for new opinions to me."

"Four weeks." He only said. This would be enough for Seth. He didn't need to know the whole background.

"Four weeks? It's a month man. Wow, and that because of … no, you'd told me if you want me to know. Right? Besides, what happened to your arm?" Seth asked pointing at the burn on his arm. He immediately drew his sleeve over it.

"Just a little accident in the kitchen."

"A little clumsy what? Don't worry you're in good company."

Afterwards it went as usual. He helped Seth with his homework, while Seth was providing him with the newest gossip. Most of it was about school and thus for no use for him. But he figured Seth just needed to talk. He needed to talk about everything what came up on his mind. Didn't his parents listen to him or what was the reason for that? Well, yes he also had figured Seth didn't belong to the popular guys and both parents had a job. This way it made sense, because he was pretty alone. He let him talk, most of it was in somehow fun and sometimes it even forced him to laugh a little.

They were on their way back then he saw her again. She was leaning against the banister of the pier and watched into his direction. Standing in the fading light of the evening-sun made her look even more gorgeous as she already did. She was waving. She didn't mean him, did she? He looked backwards, but there was nobody. No, she couldn't mean him. They passed her.

"Hey, do you ignore me?" She called after them – maybe him? Stop this shit, she has a boyfriend. He didn't care and stopped.

"Wasn't sure if you were meaning me." He said. There also was this tiny brunet girl – Summer. And yes, Seth started acting like someone who never has had met…he never had met with girls before.

"Hey…Summer." Seth stammered.

"Hu? Who are you?" This could make Seth attempt a little difficult.

"Seth…Seth Cohen. We both go to history and English literature."

"Do we?"

"Hey sucker, what are you doing here again?" And there he was. Her boyfriend.

"Luke, can't you be a little nicer?" She said.

"Why? He's flirting with you?"

"When someone is flirting, then it's me and this should give you some reason to think about."

"What the fuck?" Then he turned towards him and yes, it looked as if he was going to pay the bills for her temper. Not that he was reluctant to…but he didn't like to be used as a punching bag.

"You shouldn't take him on. He's from Chino and knows how to kick some asses." Seth said. Thanks. Exactly what he needed. Seth was a real chatter box and in these circumstances it wasn't really a helpful characteristic.

"Okay Seth, time to go." He suggested and turned around.

"No, wait. Maybe it's better if Luke goes now." She said.

"Listen, I don't want to get into trouble. Let us meet some time else okay?" He said and then Seth rolled off. Making speed. Luke followed him. Luke pushed him. A heavy thud on the pavement. The board rolled on, without Seth, who lay on the pavement.

"Luke!" The girls cried out. As soon as he got aware of what had happened he stopped and ran to Seth.

"Oh God Seth, are you okay? Are you injured?" The girl - the one and only for Seth - kneeled beside him, touching him and asking him about his well-being. Hopefully the guy knew what to do with that.

"I guess yes, only some scratches and bruises." He said and got up.

"Are you sure? You might have a concussion or something might be broken?" Summer said, helping Seth up on his feet. He arrived but remained in the background. He didn't want to destroy Seth's chances.

"I'm…I'm okay Summer. Really."

"I drive you home." Summer said and then led Seth to her car.

"Hey, do you wanna come?" Marissa asked.

"Uh…no…I have to go home and with my bike I'm a lot slower than you."

"C'mon man, it's Friday!" Seth claimed.

"You put the bike in my trunk and then we go. Now! I don't want Seth to collapse, because of some unseen injury." Summer said hysterically and thus he just did as he was told.

"C'mon. I would like you to come with us. Thus I could get you to know a little better." Marissa said, dragging him with her.

"Are you sure you want that?" He asked. She knew he was from Chino. He wasn't on her eye-level. He was nothing compared to her and he wasn't in any state to get hurt by the most beautiful girl he ever had met. She looked into his eyes.

"I think so. I want to know what story these blue eyes have seen."

They arrived at Seth's home. They got out of Summer's car. While the others went to the house he remained where he stood.

"Hey, don't you wanna come?" Seth asked him. No he didn't. He was parents-incompatible and Seth should know that.

"Better not. I don't want to offend your Mum."

"Why? What has happened?" Marissa asked confused looking at Seth, to him and back to Seth.

"I dunno. My Mum doesn't like him, although he was the one saving my life. I think she's just overwrought." Seth answered.

"Oh. Have you tried to persuade her from something better?" Marissa asked. He only shrugged his shoulders. First of all, he hadn't gotten any chance yet and second of all, he didn't like this kind of conversation.

"So, do you come? I bet we still have this burn salve. I guess you can use it."

"You have a burn? Let me have a look at it!" Marissa ran towards it.

"Have a look at what?" A voice came out of the sudden and then Seth's father appeared, from behind the house. Now it was time to go.

"Oh…hello Mr. Cohen." The girls said nearly unison.

"Hi, girls. Hey, Ryan, how are … and Seth, what happened to your arm?" Mr. Cohen asked, pointing at the huge scratch on Seth's arm.

"Luke pushed me off my skateboard." He had to use this confusion to leave. He just wasn't in the mood to meet the whole Cohen-family and especially he wasn't in the mood to meet Mrs. Cohen again.

"So, I gotta go."

"Hey wait, nobody leaves as long as I don't know what had happened." Mr. Cohen said determining. He had no clue why. But this made him stay. Hell, he didn't even listen to his social worker, so why to a stranger?

"We met the boys at the pier and Luke got angry because of nothing and…then he just pushed Seth off his skateboard." Marissa started a new explanation.

"That's true Mr. Cohen." Summer agreed.

"And what about your arm?" Mr. Cohen stepped to him.

"Uh…nothing." He hadn't heard that or? Damn, how long had he been there and how much had he been able to listen to? Shit. If he had listen to the conversation about…Oh my God. This was worse than embarrassing.

"Can I have a look at it, please?" He hesitated. He didn't have to. This man had no right to ask him this. But he kept looking at him and…yes, he was a little afraid of him. Shit. He wasn't even afraid of A.J., so why of someone like that?

"Ryan?"

"Yeah…" He growled and pulled up his sleeve. The man carefully took his arm. He hated it if someone grabbed his arm. He hated it!

"How did it happen?" Hu? What? Why did he care? This was nothing.

"Accident at work." The man nodded and pulled up the sleeve a little more. He clenched his jaw. If he had wanted the man to see more, he had pulled up the sleeve by himself.

"Seth you go in and show your Mum the scratch. If the girls want to, they can stay as mental support through the procedure of cleaning a wound with iodine. And tell Mum, I bring Ryan home." Huh?! What?! Had he missed some important fact like: he had decided whether he wanted him to or not? He watched how the others disappeared in the house. Why did Mr. Cohen go over his head with that? He didn't even know him. He didn't want him to bring him home.

"Sandy!" Mrs. Cohen stormed towards them. "Can I have a second with you?" She asked, not even paying the slightest attention to him. Not that he felt any desire to it.

"You really think it's a good idea to bring him home? I mean, you alone?"

"Kirsten, don't worry. Okay?"

"But look at him. Who knows what really had happened. Seth had told me he's from Chino. So you know what this means. I don't want you risking your life only because you're too kind-hearted to see what people really are." This went too far. She had all right to ignore him. But talking about him that way and pretending he wasn't there, was unacceptable – even for some criminal Chino-scum.

"For you all people who don't get drowned in wealth are criminals? Did you ever think about how people like you achieved all what they're possessing now?"


	9. Abandoned, straying and beaten Puppy

**A/N.:** Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. That's really encouraging! Did I ever say what a great person my JassyLou is? If not, now I have :) So have fun and enjoy

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**_Abandoned, straying and beaten Puppy_**

**T**hey drove in silence. He had to talk to the boy, because what he had seen was anything but the result of an accident. But the boy was awfully withdrawn and his tough behaviour made it even harder to reach him. It was obvious that the boy was having a hard time. If this described what hell he went through. He never would understand what was making the kids stay silent about what was done to them.

"I need to apologize for my wife."

"Why? You weren't the one speaking."

"Yes, but I want you to know that she didn't mean it. Seth is our only child and…my wife is a little to mothering. So don't take it personally.

"I gave it up long ago." At least he got an answer, but he didn't like what was written between the lines. He looked at the boy, hoping to get a little more information.

"What?" The boy sighed irritated. He noticed he was still there, wow. Until now he has had the feeling the boy had ignored his presence. And, yes he should pay more attention to the traffic.

"If I would take all insults – being thrown at me - personally, I already was a nut case. So don't wrack your brains on this." This boy was everything else than easy to handle – at least for an adult. But he got what he wanted – information.

"Got it. So did you already plan something this weekend?" This question would make his wife blow her top. But he owed it this boy. A little politeness and maybe he was able to convince his wife of something better – that this boy wasn't a dangerous criminal, but some poor guy without luck.

"Working."

"The whole weekend?" The question was: whether it was unusual that the boy was talking so little, or unusual that Seth was so talkative.

"What's wrong with that?" The boy was tetchy and he was having enough reasons to. Damn, if things went on for him like that it won't take long and he'll meet him in juvies. The boy needed help. But it seemed as if he was the only one recognizing it.

"Not even my wife has to work seven days a week." He just answered.

"I don't think your wife works as waiter on minimum wage basis." This boy wasn't dumb. This was for sure.

"That's true." There was so much wrong – utterly wrong - about the way the boy was behaving and…hell he was sixteen years old and instead of going to school he had a full time job.

"What's wrong with you?" He just asked. The body language of the boy told him he only wanted to run. He got not response to his answer.

"I mean you donate your blood to my son - selfless. And when I try to explain what great action it was and try to thank you, you bite me. So what's wrong?" The boy still ducked his head, but he could see, his eyes were moving from the window into his direction, back to the window and again into his direction. He was distrustful.

"Just stressed." No wonder. If I would get my ass kicked at home, I would be stressed too.

"A sixteen years old boy shouldn't be stressed." He answered. The short answers coming from the boy weren't satisfying.

"My Mum's in hospital and I have to work my hands to the bones to collect the money we need for our bills. Every sixteen years old would be stressed in this situation."

"So why didn't you tell me earlier? I can …"

"Because I come to terms. So don't make a fuss of it." They reached the house where the boy was living – or where he pretended to live. He stopped the car.

"You don't." He only said.

"Hu?" The boy asked confused.

"You don't come to terms. Ryan, listen. I've seen enough of bruises like the one on your arm, which you didn't want me to see. I have seen enough kids with bruised faces and arms. So don't even think I would believe all you accident-excuses."

"That's none of your business." The boy said and got out.

"You're Seth best friend and Seth and his well-being is my business. This makes your problem my business too, so stop being…that indifferent." Rage? Fury? Frustration? All at once was what he felt. He started to understand his mother's moods. It was frustrating trying to help these kids if they were reluctant to notice their problems and to accept help.

"Whatever." The boy turned around and then disappeared in one of the houses. He waited. In his state of rage he was unable to drive. What could he do to make the boy trust him? This was the main problem. He remembered how long it had taken his mother to win the trust of these kids. But he needed the boy's trust to help him. On the other hand his wife wouldn't be too happy about him trying to build up a kind of relationship with this boy. And this again led to the question what was wrong with his wife, when she started talking like that - fully aware the boy was listening to all of it. He was lost in thoughts when a heavy thud and yelling caught his attention.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" He looked out the window. He saw a form a huge ball lying on the porch of a house. It was dark, he couldn't see properly. It was the porch of the house, the boy went in.

"Little shithead. I'll teach you some lessons." A giant of man said. Although it was dark he felt as if he had seen the man before. This huge tattoo on… how could his mind work that slowly in such a situation? He jumped out of the car and stormed to the porch. It was no ball. It was the boy lying on the floor.

"Stop it!" He screamed. The man looked at him.

"I can do with my property as I like to."

"This is a kid, no thing!"

"Oh, well, then here take him, but I don't wanna see him again." The man screamed, went into the house and slammed the door shut. The boy fought himself back on his feet. He spit blood on the porch.

"Thanks, now can I see where to sleep." What? He wasn't angry or anything, or? It was the shock making him talking like that, right? He wasn't pissed because of what he had done, was he?

"Kid, you need to see a doctor."

"I bit my tongue, nothing to worry about." The boy answered cold. He didn't sound as if he was grateful for his help.

"Oh…okay, can I help you?" He asked. The boy's behaviour was…a little scary. This man easily could have beaten him to death and he was pissed at him, only because he wanted to prevent that?

"No, you've already done enough." The boy went off. He followed him.

"Ryan, wait! Someone needs to have a look at your face or…you at least have to cool it."

"Yes and all this wouldn't be a problem if you have stayed out of this!"

"You can't be serious about that!" The boy couldn't be that dumb, not to understand that what he had done, was for his own good.

"Sorry that I'm not in the mood for talking, but I need to find a place to stay over night." And where will this place be? He couldn't allow him to stay on the streets. He also had no clue if there were any friends. But if there were, the boy wouldn't spend his whole free time in Newport with Seth. Meaning there also were no friends. So the only solution for the boy was the street. Oh God, his son would kill him, if something happened to Ryan and he realized it was because his own father was unable to do something for his friend.

"Ryan, wait!" The boy stopped and sat down on a small wall. His face looked awful under the light of the lamppost.

"I…only wanted to help you. It wasn't okay, what he was doing to you. Nobody has a right to do something like that to you." He started to explain why he had stepped in. Maybe if the boy understood him…how could the boy understand him? This might have gone on for years and he never had said anything. He wasn't aware of how wrong it was when someone was beating him.

"C'mon kid. Let someone take a look at it. Just to be sure it's nothing serious and then we'll see what happens next." He got no reaction. Yes, he was becoming a little scared.

"I promise nothing will happen if you don't want it to. I just want to be sure there are no broken bones and we'll find you a place to stay." He tried again, hoping the boy was going to respond to this. Still nothing.

"Kid, I only want to help you. I couldn't allow this man to beat you to death. And I promise you I'll find you a safe place to stay."

"Yeah, sure." The boy snorted.

"Why don't you trust me?" He never would find out why by himself. Maybe the boy would open up to him, after something like that. Maybe he only needed some time to realize he could trust him.

"Why would I?" Right. He wasn't going to open up and he wasn't going to trust him. The boy ducked his head. He was waiting for him to leave, but he wasn't ready to give up now. He watched the boy - trying to read him.

"Your nose is bleeding." He said after he saw a red thread of blood running down the boy's chin. The boy only shrugged his shoulders. This was it. The boy didn't care about himself then it was his job to do so.

"Alright, that's enough." He said, got up and grabbed the boy's arm. He would make him go to a doctor even if it meant tying him up.

"Stop that!" The boy screamed, trying to escape his grip.

"If you promise coming with me, without making trouble and voluntarily I will."

"No choice huh?"

"No choice."

"No trouble okay. But I'm not coming voluntarily." The boy stated. But this didn't matter. Important was that he come with him.

He waited in the waiting area of the ER. He started to worry. Ryan was being examined now for nearly two hours. He only hoped that there was not too much damage done to him. And then there was still the thing with a place to stay. He needed a place were someone took care of him. Especially after a day like this – years like this. He knew he had to inform social service. And then? The boy got fed, had a place to sleep, but things won't change for him. There won't be someone caring for him the way he needed it. He looked onto his watch once again. Man, this was long. Please don't let him have any server injury. He looked at the door of the room in which the boy had disappeared. It opened. He sighed of relieve. Eventually. He got up and went to the boy.

"And what did the doctor say?" He asked immediately.

"Nothing serious." The boy answered. The stitches in his face told something else.

"What do you consider as nothing serious?"

"What the hell, do you care? This…sorry." The boy ducked his head.

"I'm still waiting for an answer." He insisted.

"Broken ribs. Could be worse." Worse? Wasn't a broken rib linked to bad pain?

"Ribs?" He asked further. The boy only shrugged his head. Man, when did this start to care about himself?

"Good night, and don't forget no unnecessary moving and be careful with your cheek." A doctor said behind them and patted the boy's shoulder. He looked at the boy. The boy didn't look at him.

"Okay, just in case you haven't realized: I'm here to help you, but you need to be honest to me. So, when I ask you, what the doctor had said, I want an honest answer and I don't care if the answer outruns the quota of your everyday amount of words." Yes, he was pissed. And it took quite a lot to piss off Sandy Cohen.

"Sorry." The boy mumbled. He couldn't help, but roll his eyes.

"You didn't tell your Dad?" The doctor said and before he was able to explain to him, he wasn't he started to explain.

"Your son has three broken ribs and his cheekbone is cracked, one slight hit can turn it from cracked into fractured. Thus and to prevent the ribs doing more damage as necessary he should lie down as much as possible." Did he even look like the boy's father? He didn't or? If he mixed up Kirsten with his mother it could work. But he?

"He's not my father." The boy only mumbled.

"Oh…not? Sorry. Well, I gotta go." And with these words the man was gone.

"Well, and this is what you consider as not serious?" He got no response and took it as a yes.

"C'mon, let's find you a place to stay." He wanted to put an arm around the boy's shoulder, but he immediately made a huge distance between them. This behaviour made his heart crack. He couldn't lose the image of an abandoned, straying and beaten puppy, left alone on his own.


	10. Sometimes love & money isn't enough

**A/N.:** Hey! Sorry this chapter is a little short, but this was really a bloody battle ;) I hope you like it. If not, let me know and I rewrite it (if you come up with ideas and suggestions). Have fun and enjoy

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**_Sometimes love & money isn't enough_**

**H**er husband still wasn't home yet. This was so unusual. She started to worry. What if the boy had made use of the situation and… She wasn't able to think her thought to a plausible end. Her husband was somewhere in the poorest area of California alone with one of these kids nobody could trust. She started to bite her nails. Who told her it wasn't the boy's fault her son got injured? Her son of course said he had nothing to do with that and Marissa as well. But who knew? Maybe they were afraid of the boy.

"Hey Mum, is Dad still not home?" Her son came into the kitchen.

"No." She said, trying to hide her anxiety about this.

"I hope there hasn't happened anything." Did this mean her son had understood?

"So, you think he's dangerous as well."

"Who?" Okay, he hasn't understood. How could she have thought he did? "You're still talking about Ryan, are you?" He had detected her. Sometimes she wished for a less smart son, who didn't notice everything on first sight.

"Well…"

"Mum, how often do I have to tell you he's a nice guy and he's not dangerous? The whole thing at the pier was Luke's fault, not his." And there they were again. Arguments. And why? Because of a boy she didn't even know.

"Seth, why would Luke do something like that?" This Luke had no reason to push her son off his skateboard.

"Dunno, maybe same reason he pees in my sneakers?" There it was. The fact making her realize, her son was having a hard time at school – in Newport. How was it possible she didn't get aware of it earlier? She was his mother. She had to see things like that and then stop them. No wonder her son was reluctant to see what the boy really was. He was the first one accepting him and not bullying him.

"But Seth, I just can't imagine you and the boy…you're from two complete different worlds."

"Mum, just tolerate that he's my friend. In respect to the fact he is having a real shit life, he's a good guy."

"Seth, you don't know him."

"Yes and you don't even try to get to know him. I can imagine that having to work, only to pay the bills for your Mum's hospital stay, is not really comforting. And yes, this is something impossible in this area. But on the other hand he also moved away from his old home without being asked before. He understands me when I tell him how fucked up it is having no friends. He understands how fucked up it is being Mummy's and Daddy's toy, being thrown into the corner, if they have enough other things on their mind." No…no…he …How was he able to think he was only a toy for them? He was more…a lot more than that. He was her son. He meant the world to her. She wasn't able to imagine a life without him.

"Seth, how can you talk like this? You're my son, much more than just a toy. I'm only worried about you."

"Sure, worried enough to work twenty-four seven and not even realizing when I'm really sick. What kind of mother are you? I mean now where I'm really happy, you're doing everything to take it away from me." Her heart clenched and she felt how her eyes were filled with tears. The worse of it was that she couldn't even deny what he said. She was working too much and thus having not enough time for her son. And yes, she saw how happy he was, but her worry about the reason made her wish he rather was sad again. She was a bad mother. But listening to the own son, saying these words hurt her awfully.

"But Seth, I love you."

"Yes, but sometimes love and money is not enough to make your kids happy." Seth was on his way back to his room. She was waiting for him to be gone, before she allowed her tears to emerge from the depth of her heart. But before she was able to let the first tear slip, the door was opened. Her husband was back.

"Hey Dad…Ryan…hey…" She heard her son's voice and then all three entered the kitchen. Sandy, Seth and this boy…oh God.

"Sandy what has happened? Are you okay?" She called out, when she saw the boy's face. One side was black and blue and awfully swollen. Poor boy, hopefully he wasn't in too much pain…wait. Why did she care anyway? He wasn't her son? He was trouble, crime and violence and his face was the best proof of it.

"I'm fine, but Ryan's face could use some ice." Her husband answered. Thanks God he was alright. But what was the boy doing here?

"Seth you know where the ice is and then you and Ryan go into your room." She said. She wanted answers. As soon as the boys were gone she paid her whole attention to her husband.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked him. He knew she didn't want this kid in her house.

"The boy needs a place to stay he…" This went too far. The boy already interrupted their family life. He didn't need to interrupt her household as well.

"Sandy and you just decided to bring him here?"

"Kirsten, I didn't know what to do. He got beaten by his father – or who ever this was. This man was double size than the kid. He wouldn't even have stopped beating him, if he had been dead. I had to do something." Oh…well, nobody would watch a man beating up a kid…like that. The boy's face looked like a battle field. How was that possible? How could somebody, who called himself a father, be able to do something like that to his son? No wonder if the boy was a little rough. But nevertheless this didn't justify her husband bringing him home without talking to her first.

"I…I can understand that you had to step in…this is…everyone would have done so. But why didn't you call the social service? They have well-trained people for cases like that." She knew her husband only wanted to help, but he was so damn self-righteous when he decided thinks like that on his own.

"It's Friday night. I won't reach anyone if I called them. That's the problem. Child's service is no twenty-four hour service. Shell I let him stay on the streets over night, in Chino?" He grew up there. The boy should know how to handle…he was a kid, not older than her own son with the difference that – in comparison to her son – the boy really had nobody who seemed to love him. Otherwise she couldn't explain herself what had happened to him. Not only the beatings, but also his fulltime job and …just everything.

"Kirsten I don't know what's wrong with you. Earlier you would have thought the same I do. I don't ask for much, I only want you to figure out what's your problem about the boy and then let me know. This is not you and you know it either." Look at him and tell me what you see, she thought. But her husband couldn't see the same she saw. He didn't know. She couldn't tell him. She was afraid if he knew, he would blame her for their…problem. She was glad that Seth had a friend. The point was the more their friendship grew, the more he would be a part of their family and the more she was going to be reminded of… This blond hair, these blue eyes…the devil was hidden behind them and the boy didn't even know. It wasn't his fault that he looked like that and she was far aware of it. It was her fault that she couldn't accept him. But if the boy stayed and grew into their family, he always would remind her of what she could have and never was going to get. This hurt. On the other hand this boy could be her chance to make it alright again. Maybe he could help them to get what they wanted…only…in a different way…in somehow. She sighed.

"He sleeps in the pool house…don't look at me like that, but I can imagine he's feeling a little more comfortable there. You have noticed yourself how reluctant he is to accept any help. And in the morning you call the social service or child's service – whatever – and then they find a place for him. Maybe somewhere not too far away, so Seth can see his friend as much as he wants to." Now here she was – forgetting all her fears and concerns. But she had no choice. She wanted that her son realized how much she loved him and she wanted her husband to see that she wasn't one of these Newpsies. Sometimes you had to step back with your own desires to make your family happy. And yes, they had stepped back for her in so many aspects. Her son had lost his friends after they moved here, as well did her husband. She wasn't home a lot anymore and both accepted it. Her son soon had managed to stand on his own feet – as far as it was possible. Her husband had accepted that she was the maintainer of their family. He also had accepted the new lifestyle – one he hated. Both went together with her the same way. It was time she did something for them.

"Well I go and get some towels, fresh sheets and…something for the bruises."

"Do you know that I love you?" Her husband asked her and gave her a passionate kiss.

"I hope so and you better don't stop doing so." She answered.

When Sandy brought the boy into the pool house she could say he felt uncomfortable. With his head ducked, he was looking painfully sad. Well, who wouldn't be sad after a day like that?

"Okay…Ryan…there's some more ice for your face in the fridge and here's something for your bruises …I dunno whether it can be used for the face, but just in case there are other bruises which hurt. Well, that's it. Have a good night." She said and went out.

"Uhm…thanks…for everything." The boy answered. He felt uncomfortable. Better that way.


	11. Mind the stairs!

**A/N.:** Sorry for this chapter, but I have difficulties with writing. But I don't want to annoy you with no up-dates. So I hope this is not too bad. Criticism and suggestions are very welcome

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**_Mind the stairs!_**

**S**leep didn't come over him. He tried to realize what had happened with him. Why was he here? She didn't want him here. He had forced him. Seth was happy he was here, because they could spend more time together. And what was going to happen with him? Hadn't Seth said something about his father being a lawyer? This meant trouble, right? It meant his social worker, social service and at the end foster home. Yes, it was bad. He needed a plan to prevent this. But what? Why hadn't Mr. Cohen be able to leave him alone? Why? He hadn't wanted to end up here. And foster home was the reason for it. They didn't understand. They thought this was bad. They never had witnessed what really bad meant. All he knew was that it was getting his ass kicked by A.J. than being part of the system. But nobody understood him. Someone knocked on the door of…in whatever he had been sleeping or not been sleeping in. Then the door opened. It was Mr. Cohen.

"Oh…good you're awake. I wanted to talk to you, before Seth wakes up and draws on you for the rest of the day." He took a seat in one of the basket chairs.

"So, I called your social worker and he'll arrive in the afternoon to talk to you about what will happen." He already knew that. He didn't need anyone telling him. Foster home. This was the only solution left for him. And no, he didn't like that idea. He only nodded and tried not to look at the man. He wasn't sure why, but he was afraid of him – especially after last night. He had the feeling as if this man could see through him - read him. As if he could predict his life and already knew everything what had happened. And this was what he hated most. He didn't want anyone knowing what had happened to him. He didn't want anyone having seen, what the man had…shit. This man knew it. This was the reason why he always had tried to 'help'. He had clearly seen through him…and…he knew everything, right? Shit. He had to go.

"Is everything okay?" The man asked.

"Uh…yeah…thank you." He said. Although he wasn't grateful for what Mr. Cohen had done.

"Ryan, everything will be alright. You just have to let some people take the strings out of your hand. Only then they can help you." Help. What did he call help? From bad to worse was a better description for their job.

"C'mon, I'm sure you like some breakfast." Mr. Cohen said and then they went into the kitchen.

The whole day was shit. He wasn't able to enjoy the time with Seth, although he was playing his first videogame – which was a lot of fun. His thoughts only wandered around his social worker and of what he was capable of doing. Yes, he hated this guy. Yes, it was his fault he had to put up with someone like him.

"Hey, do you think you can stay over the weekend? I hope you can. That would be so cool." Seth started to talk again.

"I dunno." He only answered, although he knew this wasn't going to happen. He looked into the water of the pool.

"Ryan, can you come in?" Mr. Cohen came out to the pool. He got up. He knew what this meant.

"Do you want me at your side? Talking to him? I can help." Mr. Cohen offered. Well, this was even more than his Mum ever had managed to ask.

"No, thanks. I handle it." He said and went into the kitchen.

"Hey Ryan." His social worker – Neil – said and sighed. "You don't want to tell me how long things are going that way or?"

"What do you mean?" he tried to play the innocent.

"Your Mum's stay in hospital, your absence from school, you faking your Mums signature and now this." He pointed at his face.

"Ryan, you're in serious trouble right now. Your principal is pressing charges against you, because of falsification of documents and he was the one telling me your Mum being in hospital. We had a deal saying if you have trouble at home, you come to me. And now I'm here, seeing you didn't stick to your part of the deal. What am I supposed to do now?" He only shrugged his shoulders. He already knew what he had to do. So why asking stupid questions? His opinion wouldn't count anyway.

"Foster home is the last option I have left now."

"Yeah sure…and if I had come to you earlier, I already would be there. Thus I could at least enjoy my last days of freedom." He had to give his anger space. He hated this hypocritical behaviour.

"Ryan, I know things are a little harder for you, but…"

"Then you should know, why foster homes are the last place I want to be." He said determining.

"Sorry Ryan, but this isn't in my hand. I have no choice." He had no choice. He wasn't even looking for another one. He got up.

"Ryan, where are you going?"

"Why do you care?"

"Ryan, I only can recommend no running. There's a charge against you, you already ran from us several times and you have priors. So you better think of what you do." Yeah, sure. No, he wasn't listening to Neil. He hated to be treated like a thing. He would stop them. No matter how much trouble he would get.

"Ryan…don't try to get into more trouble than you're already in!" Neil called but he didn't listen. He went down the driveway. Honestly, if this social worker cared, why didn't he run after him? Why didn't he try to stop him?

"Hi, you're here?" Shit. He didn't need that. Not that he stopped liking her, but the moment wasn't the best.

"Yeah…just on a run." He answered.

"Why?" Why? Why did people leave? There were thousand reasons and he knew them all. He only couldn't come up with one of them. He couldn't lie to her.

"Just have to leave."

"Do you come back? I mean, I wanted to get you to know a little more." She said, smiling at him. Yes, this was exactly what he wanted too, but this never was going to happen. He had to flee from hell, no matter how important the reasons where for him to stay.

"Uh…just…I don't think so." He hated himself. Rage grew inside of him. And who had he to thank for this misery? Mr. Cohen and his social worker. Both weren't able to believe he was coming to terms.

"What? But…I thought you and Seth were friends…I…I thought we…I…"

"I'm sorry, really. But I have no other choice." He tried to hold back his anger. Why couldn't she just be pissed - like every girl would be in her position - and tell him what sucker he was? Her understanding behaviour wasn't really helpful for him.

"Why? What's wrong? I…I can help…you."

"Sorry, but…you can't…nobody can." He felt despaired and helpless. But he stuck to reality. Even if he stayed, he wouldn't see her again. He was going to end up in foster home and thus he was going to disappear from the world.

"Why?" He saw how tears were forming in her eyes. He didn't want to hurt her. Really. He swore if he was able to change the circumstances, he did. But he wasn't.

"I…Shit…I'm a bunch of problems you should stay away from." He admitted. She would lose her interest anyway, when she found out about his life.

"I can't understand you."

"Okay,…listen, if I don't piss off, they put me into a foster home and then…my life is over for the next two years." Why was he telling her the truth? She …

"Ryan?!" A male voice screamed after him. Now he had to run. No quite sneaking out, but bloody run for survival.

"Sorry." He whispered and without thinking he gave her a kiss onto her cheek. The first and the last time he was going to kiss this smooth skin. But there was no time to think about that. He had to run.

"Ryan!" Another voice called, but he didn't listen. He only thought about running and not stumbling over his own feet.

The scene changed around him, he had reached the pier. He stopped and tried to regain his breath. Where should he go to? Maybe he could go and search for his brother. Nice idea. Since three years he hadn't gotten any sign from him. He had to leave the state, if he didn't want them to find him. Shit, where was the bus station in Newport? He only knew the line to Chino, but no other. Hitchhiking! This was it. They would lose him in less than a few seconds.

"Ryan?" Shit! He turned around. Shit! Neil had received support. A lot. One social worker he had seen once or twice and…Why wasn't Mr. Cohen able to keep himself out of his business? Well, he had no time to think about it. He had to run, because they came closer. His chest started to hurt. He paid no attention to it. But yes, it felt as if his chest started to explode.

"Ryan, stop, NOW!" He didn't listen. He ran.

Shit! Stairs! Not good in…He had no choice. The other social worker was too close to think about…Shit! Why were they chasing him? Why did this car stay there in his way at the end of the stairs? This wasn't fair. But he had no choice.

"Ryan, if you don't stop NOW, I have to take action!" The man screamed. He was too close, was already close enough to catch him…Shit! He felt something hitting his back. He lost balance, stumbled over and then he was on his way down stairs. Every single stair was pure pain. It felt like an eternity. Where was the end? There it was. With a last heavy thud he landed on solid ground. His body was one bloody pain. But…yes his arms and hands hurt most. He got back on all fours. His arms and hands were one bloody graze. Ouch…his right knee hurt.

"Are you alright kid?" Mr. Cohen kneeled beside him. Fuck, I fell down six stony stairs. How would you feel afterwards? He felt tears forming in his eyes. Yes, the gazes and his knee were hurting such awful he only wanted to cry. But they weren't allowed to see him being weak.

"C'mon, I help you up." Mr. Cohen helped him to get up and then led him back to the stairs, where he sat down. He handed him a tissue for his bleeding hands, but this wasn't enough as his arms were bleeding too.

"Ryan, I told you not to run." Neil told him off.

"Yes, and your colleague has had no reason to push the boy." Mr. Cohen snapped back. He didn't care right now. He carefully pulled up his right trouser. His knee was bleeding like hell. Yep, this would need some stitches. No he was ruled by pure anger. This man had pushed him? Then he'll need to know what pain really meant. He knew violence was no solution. But he wasn't able to control himself.

"Ryan, kid don't…" He wasn't sure what Mr. Cohen wanted to tell him.

He wasn't able to control his anger. He only felt how one punch threw this man onto the floor – like he had thrown him onto the floor. And then he only noticed that after three or four punches, his fist was bloody – by the man's blood.


	12. Violent, shy & in somehow differnt

**_Violent, shy & in somehow differnt_**

**I**t had been one of these stressful days. Added to that it was hot and dry and he hadn't had time for his everyday-morning-surfing. No, today wasn't his best day and he doubted it could get any worse. He made his way to the juvies. After the boy's outburst, the social workers saw themselves forced to call the Police. In his point of view this was an overreaction. At least the man had pushed the boy. Worse of all, he hadn't had time to read the file yet. His colleague had stormed into his office, slammed it onto his desk, saying he was the alternate public defender in this, while all others had too much work. Man, did he look as if he had nothing to do? And yes, he hadn't wanted this case. The boy already was lost somewhere in the system and he doubted he could do anything for him. He had defended thieves, junkies, dealers. He never has had a problem with them. But these teenagers committing assault and battery were mostly already totally screwed up. There never was something he could do. They were done and never were sorry for their actions. No, he didn't like those teenagers. They were smug, insulting and would do it again, if they had to. These kids were those that never lasted out of jail any longer than six months. And yes, when he thought about all this, this picture didn't match to the boy at all. There was something different about him. But he wasn't sure what it was. Shit, he hated those days. He usual left these kids with rage in his stomach. Rage because they were unwilling to see their error. Worse of all, this time it was someone he knew and…liked. He had seen these sad eyes, this despaired look. How could he have been mistaken about this boy? He never had thought he was capable of something like that. He better had listened to his wife. When he reached the building he took some deep breaths and entered it.

He sat in this stony, dark and cold room on one of these uncomfortable hard chairs and flipped through the file. It was a lot bad signs, telling him: he had been mistaken. Lock up for four weeks, bad grades at school and then he just decided to attack someone from the social service, who wanted to take him to a foster home – help him. Added to that, there was falsification of signatures. All this was enough for him to know, he couldn't do anything. Damn, this boy wasn't one of them. He liked Seth, they were friends. These kids never would accept Seth. Maybe, if he studied the file a little more concentrated, he could see some light. But on first watch. There was nothing he could do. He reached the part with reports from social service – referring to some medical reports attached. If he plaid the social-education-card, he might be able to help…He saw the pictures taken for the medical report, now he was able to see a lot clearer. And he had done nothing. He had seemed everything to him, but not this. He watched an officer brining the blond boy in. He came towards him – head ducked as usual.

"I never thought I'll meet you here." He said. The boy looked up for a second and then sat down, face away from him.

"So, do you wanna tell me your version of what had happened, at least of that part I didn't witness?" The boy only shrugged his shoulders.

"You faked your Mum's signature on the school release paper and you attacked a social worker. Do you wanna tell me why?" This blond boy, these sad eyes didn't belong to a violent criminal – not the way they acted around his son.

"Maybe my principal can give you better answers than I can." Okay, the boy was in a position he should start to cooperate, but he still rejected him.

"But I wanna know it from you."

"I needed to get my school release papers signed and my Mum couldn't do so. You know the rest of the story. If you wanna know more, ask my social worker." Short, honest, without lame excuses. The boy was aware of his situation, but he didn't bother. Sixteen years old and already lost all hope.

"For what did you get four weeks detention?" He asked, trying to figure if this boy at least cared enough about getting out of this place.

"I stole once too often." Had his wife been right? But…what was wrong with him? He usually smelled lies miles against the wind. Why?

"And this gave you four weeks?"

"My Mum didn't take me home. Wanted to teach me a lesson. Well, didn't work." This was smug and nasty at once. He knew most teenagers were scared to death by even spending one night in juvy. For most of them it was enough for never doing the same wrong thing again. Every parent knew this and no caring parent would leave his kid in such a place.

"I don't believe you." He said frankly. He caught a questioning look from the boy.

"You're not the first one."

"That's not what I mean. I don't believe that you don't care and I don't believe that you're one of these rough and rude boys. Listen kid, I know how life works in places like Chino. I spent my first sixteen years in the worse part of the Bronx. But if you want to escape from there, you need to work hard on yourself." He tried to explain to the boy that not all hope was already lost.

"So that I can be one of you?" Now he behaved like those smug kids he couldn't stand. But the shy, lopsided smile, the ducked head and the apologizing look told him: didn't mean so, sorry. Their environment shaped these kids and it was difficult to resist this influence.

"C'mon Ryan, you need to help me in this, if you want me getting you out of here."

"You have a family. Don't waste your time on me." Hard, shattering words and a hint he won't reach anything on this front. But, although he was accused for a violent crime, although he didn't want his help – he wasn't going to give up on him.

He still knew one address to go to.

"Hello Mr. Cohen. What leads you to me?" The social worker greeted him - the other one.

"One of my clients, Ryan Atwood."

"Well, then I should ask, whether you like a cup of coffee."

"No, thanks. I just have some questions. The boy isn't much of a talker, so I come to you."

"That's true. So what would you like to know? I mean you've witnessed most of it.

"I want to know what this thing with the signature is about." The man nodded.

"Of course. Ryan is one of our trouble children. Abusive household, Mum's an alcoholic and crimes added to that, frequent absence from school, fights and the whole list. As far as I know his dean wanted to talk to his mother about his situation at school. But she never came to one of the appointments. Ryan's teachers told me he didn't appear at school without bruises and it was obvious we needed to do something. He's quite a smart kid, if he only wants to – or better has the chance to. He belongs to the few who could get real far from here – whatever. The dean called us and we told him to call back, if his conversation with Ryan has shown no effect."

"And then he asked for the release papers?"

"Yes. He had one week to get this signed. Well, he managed. But then they found out his Mum's in hospital and currently not in a state to sign anything or even care for him and then…you know what happened further."

"I know that your partner pushed the boy down the stairs."

"It was an accident. I can't imagine my partner intended to hurt the boy."

"Does Ryan usually react like this?"

"His background speaks for itself in this case. It was not my first time I came in this mission. Well, these kids don't want our help, especially not Ryan. But I'm glad I could persuade his dean from dropping the charge. Faking the parents' signature is the most common thing at school. So he agreed." He wasn't sure if this man was on his side or not.

"And the four weeks detention?" He needed as much information as possible to get the boy out of this mess. Judges didn't like teenagers attacking those who wanted to help them – well what the system considered as help.

"He was fourteen, he stole and was caught one time too often and then they decided he needed to stay for a while. Ryan got four weeks and since then I try to work with him."

"Is there anything more I need to know about him, what's not in this file?"

"No, nothing." He only nodded and thanked the man and left – deep in thoughts. He had no idea what to think about this boy. On the one hand he seemed to be one of the rough and rude gangsters. But in the same time he occurred to be…to be what? A kid? Sensitive? Anxious? He had no clue. He only knew the reason for his reaction towards the social worker. These kids didn't want any help. They just want to be left alone. And Ryan was no different. But now he could make up some kind of story to get Ryan out. Something like stressed out, because of his current circumstances, the scaring surprise effect. No wonder a kid like Ryan freaked out.

Nearly two days passed since he had seen Ryan. Now it was time to explain the tactics to him.

He went to his office and found an envelope lying on his desk. After reading the content his jaw dropped. No, this boy wasn't one of those violent teenagers. If he was, he never had done this without his advice to do so. And this hadn't come up on his mind, when they met first. He headed to juvy. Ryan was already sitting in the visitor's room. Either the boy was cold and calculating or he had heart and knew what he had done wrong. When he sat down across from him, the boy didn't even look up.

"You're a free man. The social service has dropped all charges as well as your principle. Leaves for me only a bunch of paperwork and you'll out in an hour." He said cheering. He got no response, not the slightest emotion.

"Hey, everyone else would show some kind of relieve and happiness about news likes these."

"When I'm out, what…what happens then?" The boy asked, without really looking at him, but even without looking away.

"Well, we'll check on your Mum, looking whether she's in a current state to care for you."

"And if she isn't?" There was no way he could put something across the kid.

"The social service takes care of you as long as she has…to sort things out." He explained carefully. The boy sighed. "C'mon group homes aren't that bad." He tried to make him feel a little better. He knew most kids rather wanted to live on the street than there. But if he got this kid away from the street and into one of these homes, his chances for surviving were much better.

"Been there?" The boy asked him.

"As visitor." The boy snorted snidely.

"You've no idea." Dumpish was no word to express what impression the boy made right now.

"I'm sure your Mum is okay and you can go home."

"You don't know her."

It didn't take even an hour to finish his paperwork and they stood in the dry sun of California.

"Okay, let's head to your Mum." He said.

"I can handle it from here. Thanks." Still reluctant to accept help. He wasn't sure whether to be glad destiny gave him this chance to help. The boy didn't even want him around. And can't he just lift his head. He looked like a beaten dog. He should be glad being out of this place that soon, especially after he got to know it for four weeks.

"Sorry, but as long as I haven't delivered you either to your Mum or to the child's service, I'm responsible for you." He patted the boy's shoulder and let him to his car. When they reached it, the boy looked up at him – short. Of course wondering since when public defenders made enough money to own such cars. They drove to the hospital, in silence. The boy looked stringent out the window, avoiding every eye contact. He doesn't trust me and I can't take it amiss.

They arrived.

"Okay, just need a second."

"Don't worry, I come with you – just in case you run." He said and then followed him through the corridors. When they reached the area leading to the ICU, he was stopped by a nurse telling him to wait for a doctor. They probably had been able to move her to a room on the normal unit. He watched the boy. He looked nervous. He was sixteen. Hospitals didn't belong to his favourite places. A doctor came and took the boy aside. From the distance he wasn't able to listen to what he was telling him. It didn't take long and the boy came towards him, frowning as if he did some heavy thinking.

"And how's your Mum?" He had to make sure she was released some time soon and was able to care for her son.

"She isn't." The boy answered, as if he didn't believe himself what he was saying.

"What do you mean?" He asked carefully.

"She's…she's dead. Stroke." The boy answered short, shrugging his shoulders. Shit. It couldn't get worse. He put and arm around the boy's shoulder – comfortingly. This was the last thing he had counted on. He had prepared himself that his Mum was a train wreck. But dead?

"Oh…kid…I'm sorry." Stupid words to say. No matter what he wanted to do now, he had to proceed as he was told to. What meant: taking the boy to the child's service hoping they'll find his brother.

"Is okay." The kid answered and then just went out. No traces of mourn or sadness or even tears. Shock? Maybe. Callous? Probable.

He drove the boy home so he could grab some of his things before he had to bring him…right now he felt bad – really bad. After this, nobody should have to go to some place like a foster home. But fact was: there was nobody who cared. Fact was: the boy had lost his last remaining family member. Fact was: the boy was cool headed, nearly emotionless. He waited in the car, when the boy walked up the porch to the door. It didn't take long and he came back – empty handed.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone changed the lock." He closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, before he started the engine. Now the boy not even possessed anything despite the cloths he was wearing. Shit day. Shit bad fucking day. He should quit his job. No, he had to. He was getting too emotional. He was getting emotional, because he knew the boy – he knew what big and warm heart was hidden under this rough wall of bad experiences and tragedies.

The halls of the child's service were crowded and busy. He led the boy to a bench. He still feared the boy might suffer from some kind of shock and might collapse in the next few minutes. The boy did as he was told and he headed to one of the counters.

"Hello, I'm Sandy Cohen. I'm bringing a boy, Ryan Atwood. Your people were already looking for him." He said. The woman - irritated and stressed - looked at him and nodded, then fed something into the computer.

"Atwood, Ryan. Here he is. You're right, he's already known. And your request is?"

"I was told if his mother wasn't up to care for him, I had to bring him here."

"Well, then he's one of our cases for foster homes. Yes, right. Here it is." He only wanted to bring the boy some place safe and then leave. This was getting too hard to handle for him. He never had wanted to finish his work that fast as he did now.

"Okay, but it's already four and his social worker left off work." No, no, no. There was enough bad news within the next two hours. He didn't need more.

"This means?"

"I can't help you. You have to wait until Monday."

"Monday? It's Saturday. The boy has nowhere to stay over the weekend." There was something totally wrong with the system. Where was help if someone needed it?

"I'm sorry, but I can't do anything." She was cold-hearted. How was it possible that such a woman worked here? His Mum never had been such cold-hearted, at least not to kids who had nothing and nobody.

"And what am I supposed to do? Let him sleep in the streets over the weekend?" She had to understand in what situation the boy was and that there was no possibility to wait.

"There's a doss house a few streets from here." A what? This…that…

"You don't see the seriousness of this. The boy had come to know that his Mum died last night. I can't bring him to a doss home. He needs someone who takes care of him."

"Mr. Cohen, all these kids are here, because they need help. But Ryan's sixteen; he's previously convicted – for attacking two of us; Ryan won't be out of jail for too long; Ryan has already been in a foster home for some time and run; Ryan obviously doesn't want to be there again. So, I guess there are some more serious cases, who really seek for help. I'm not going to waste my time with such a hopeless case." Shut. The woman turned round and he was left - left with nothing and a boy. Heavy-hearted he went back to the boy who still sat on the bench.

"So, they can't help us until Monday." He tried to make it sound less dramatic than it was. "Is there someone else you can stay with over the weekend?" He looked into these empty and despaired eyes.

"Maybe Theresa." Well, let's hope this was a place. He nodded and then drove through Chino. This was really no place to grow up as teenager. Unfortunately one had no choice where you were born. He waited in the car while the boy was talking to a tall and thin girl, probably his age. He only saw her head shaking. After this door was shut, the boy didn't come back to the car, but walked down the street. This situation was fucked up depressing. And he never had thought he would start to think in such a language.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He asked the boy. He shrugged his shoulders – the best answer he can get.

"I'll promise on Monday I go back there… and then…I won't make trouble."

"I wanted to know where you're going." The boy said nothing. "There's no other place, right?" He sighed. Could he leave him just here in those dirty and dangerous streets? Could he let him put his life on the line, after he had saved his son's? It was going to be a long, long night.

"C'mon. I know a place where you can stay." He said, put a hand onto the boy's shoulder and brought him back to the car.


	13. NO!

**A/N: **This chapter is for all those, who had been anxious for some mother-Kirtsen-action ;) Have fun and enjoy

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**_NO!_**

"**Y**ou brought him here? What do you think you're doing?" She screamed. She thought she had been clear enough. One night and then to the social service. This was the deal.

"I'm helping a teenager who has nowhere to go."

"But did you think of our family? Did you think of Seth? You've witness, what the boy is capable of." Her husband needed to see the facts. And fact was: this boy was a delinquent – a violent one.

"Yes I did, and we both know Seth and Ryan are best friends."

"Fact is that he's a criminal as I've said all the time before."

"Kirsten, he's not. All charges were dropped, after he apologized for what he had done – without my advice to do so. He had realized what he had done was wrong." He was driving a new road. Now he tried to make her feel bad by telling her what a nice boy this kid was? No, he was not going to convince her in this. No matter how bad his time had been at home.

"If he knows what he had done was wrong, why had he done it?" There, now tell me. Nobody turns from devil into angel over night. Not even this boy.

"Probably because he was afraid of being send into a foster home and one of the guys pushed him down the stairs at the pier. How would you have reacted?" Well, this was…the stairs at the pier…ouch, maybe…No. She wasn't going to relent. Not this time. But away from home, involuntarily with sixteen years…No! It was the best for him. His face had been the best proof. But he was only a kid, beaten up by his maybe-father and then pushed down hard stony stairs. No!

"Well, then why isn't he in a foster home now?"

"Because they have no time to deal with him until Monday." Oh…then…being alone on the streets for a whole weekend. If Seth was in such a situation, she'll never allow him to sleep in the streets. It was too dangerous for boys in this age. They could get hurt or even worse too easily. No. She had to think of her family's safety in first place.

"Well, then there can't be any problem for him he stay two days longer with his Mum." His mother had a responsibility and she wasn't going to take it from her. This wasn't her son.

"She…Kirsten …this…isn't as easy right now. C'mon, after what he had done for Seth…" She hadn't asked the boy for his…blood. On the other hand without his offer they hadn't found anyone and then…She didn't want to think of it. Well, in somehow the boy seemed to have a good heart. He really seemed to care for her son – like a friend, a good one. No. No. No! She wasn't allowed to be convinced by her husband. This would break her. Having to see him two days. How was she supposed to sleep at night? She always would get reminded. She already had a bad feeling for what she had done then and especially for not being able to fulfil her husband's wish for more children. Yes, it was her fault. She knew it. She didn't need to be reminded of it the whole weekend. She didn't deserve it.

"What? Why can't he go to his Mum?" She asked. Her husband's expression changed. His head dropped.

"Sandy?" She knew this meant nothing good. Maybe she still was ill…not out of the hospital.

"She died last night." No?! This wasn't true. He was only sixteen. His Mum wasn't supposed to die this early. A boy in his age needed his Mum, who protected him from men like these…

"And…what about his father?" Not that she liked the idea letting him go back to this man. But her conscience was hurting her, when she looked into these blue eyes.

"In jail, his brother hasn't been found by now."

"At least they caught the man who inflicted these bruises to him." She was satisfied with that result. A man, who did something like that to his son, wasn't allowed to be free.

"This man wasn't his father." Sixteen years, all alone and added to that beaten by some stranger. Could it get worse? This was not …her maternal feelings overwhelmed her. Now with this in her mind, she couldn't let him out onto the streets again. A boy at least needed a roof over his head and a bed. And what about her? She wasn't sure if she could hide her little secret any longer, if she was faced with it from day to day.

"The bed in the pool house is still made."

The boy followed her husband – shyly, head dropped. He looked pretty much uncomfortable. No wonder after such bad days. She saw the gazes on the boy's arms and hands. They looked pretty bad. Hadn't the boy had enough pain for the weekend? Did they need to inflict more to him?

"Hi Ryan, how are you?" She asked him, when he reached her. How…she could have spared herself this question. She didn't like him, but this moment wasn't the right one to let him know. But this blond hair these blue eyes…this reminded of her biggest mistake she had done. He was making her feeling bad. She had wasted a life and now there stood one which couldn't be considered as life.

"Uh…thanks…I'm…I'm fine." He said quietly. He barely looked up to her, but something was strange.

"Do you want to eat something?" She asked him, just to find out what was making her feeling strange or better what was strange about the boy - who again only lifted his head a few inches.

"No…thanks…thanks for everything." His voice still quiet. There was something wrong, but what?

"Okay we leave you, if you need anything, just let us know." Her husband started to be proactive. This was too difficult for her. Damn, since when was acting around people difficult for her? Since there was someone, who didn't allow her to read him - someone who forced her emotions into a conflict: mother versus rationalist. She and her husband went back to their house.

"Something is wrong with him." She stated and sat down in one of the chairs.

"Only a few hours ago he got to know his mother died."

"I know, I know. But that's not what I mean. His behaviour, it's strange to me."

"I don't know what you mean." Me neither. What was it? He was quiet and shy. She had expected a rude, crude and bold teenager. But he was nothing of this. Ha…he was afraid of her! And he had all reasons to. But…there…no traces of tears. There was no sign of that he had recently lost a close family member.

"Had he…had he cried, after he was told that…" She asked carefully. Knowing that the answer to this question wasn't one she should be interested in.

"No." Her husband answered and she nodded. As it seemed. How cold must one be? Not crying? After her Mum had died she had cried for two days – none stop. And she had been a lot older than the boy now was. What was wrong with him? He didn't make the impression he doesn't care. He had sound different, when he had spoken to his Mum – even when she had been unconscious. If you didn't care, you wouldn't do so. Right?

"The shock. Had been a bad day for him…bad days." Her husband tried to explain. He always tried to explain, although there was nothing to be explained. The boy hadn't wasted a tear for his Mum, nothing more to be said. She had seen those blue eyes and his hair…her son's age. Old memories came up her mind – painful ones. If…No. First of all this is too long ago and second of all, No! She had buried this memory for so long and now he was brining it back to her? No, she won't allow him to.

She saw the lights were still on, when she was on her way to bed. Something inside her was taking control over her actions, because without noticing she was on her way to the pool house. He had looked pretty rough. Maybe he was in pain, needed something to clean the gazes with. She knocked on the door, but got no answer. Should she go in? The boy has a right of privacy. But this was her house, so these were her rules. And what if something had happened to him? What if the shock showed some effects and…she didn't hesitate and opened the door.

"Ryan?" She called.

"Uh…just…ouch…one moment please." He called out of the bathroom. His voice sounded harried. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to check on him.

"Everything's okay?"

"Uh…yes…just…ouch…" He broke up.

"I come in, okay?" She needed to see, if everything was okay. Her maternal instinct didn't allow her anything else.

"Uh…no…please…I…"

"Do you at least wear boxers?" She didn't want to disturb his privacy too much.

"Yes…but…please don't come in." Too late. She stood in the bathroom and there he stood. He must have taken a shower and now his gazes were bleeding awfully. His arms and hands were tainted red and there was a thick thread of blood running down his leg. This broke her heart. He must have been carefully not to bleed on her towels or the floor. He stood in the shower cabinet and tried to stop the bleeding with toilet paper. She could tell by the amount of blood that this won't help. He was completely helpless.

"Oh…sweetie." She called out. The boy looked miserably lost and despaired. She grabbed a towel and carefully pressed it on one of the bleeding arms.

"Uhm…this…you'll never get…this out again." He whispered.

"Then I throw it away and buy a new one. Do you think I let you bleed like a pig? Here take this for the other arm and then sit down." She guided him out. These wounds needed to be treated. Why hadn't someone had a look at these wounds?

"But…now…everything's on…the floor."

"Ryan! Stop with that. You're bleeding awfully and these gazes really look nasty, so stop caring about towels and floors!" She announced him. How did he do that? He was bleeding awfully and he cared about material things? He better cared about himself right now. She could buy new towels and let the floor repair. But he couldn't buy his health, when it was damaged.

"Sorry."

"Okay, wait here, I go and get something for these." She got the first aid kid out of the kitchen and went back to the boy. He sat there, depressed and sad. She looked at his knee. This was the smallest wound, thus she started with it first.

"Okay, this might sting a bit." She said, before she started to disinfect it carefully. She felt bad for doing this. But these wounds weren't clean and the boy didn't need an inflammation. She tried to be as careful as possible.

"This needs to be stitched." She said when she put and band-aid around it.

"No." He whispered.

"This will leave a nasty scar if you don't let them stitch it up."

"Who cares?" Right now she did.

"Stop talking like that and show me your arms." She said. She didn't like the way he was talking. It hurt her. If he was hers, he wouldn't talk like that. But he wasn't. She has had her chance and had wasted it. And this was the result. She stood there and patched up a teenager who was reluctant to see that he had to care for himself in first place – that he was worth to be cared about. She fast cleaned the gazes on his arms. He remained motionless. Was he so used to so much pain that he didn't even bother anymore? Her heart clenched at this thought. He must have made a lot of bad experiences, if he behaved that way.

"Okay, that's it. Are you alright? Any more wounds needing some treatment?" She asked when she was finished.

"No…thanks." He whispered. Couldn't he speak up a little? She had the feeling, as if he felt intimidated by her.

"Are you sure, you don't want to eat something?" Regarding to his – well-trained but thin body, he could need something.

"No…thanks…for everything." With every word his voice became more silent.

"Okay, then have a good night. And don't worry about the sheets." She said and then took the first aid kid and went back to the house. When she went to bed, she could see the light in the pool house was still on. The form was still sitting on the bed. Poor boy.


	14. Whisky, Homework & Girls

**A/N.:** Thanks a lot for all the nice reviews!!! I needed them ;) And sorry for this chapter being soooo long.

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**_Whisky, Homework & and Girls_**

**H**e never had thought nights in California were cold like this. But they were. Maybe the fact it was a starry night and there was a strong breeze coming from the sea made it such cold. But what did he knew? What did he knew anyway? Was there at least something he did know? No. His life had turned upside down in one fucking single second and he had been powerless. There had been nothing he could have done, to prevent this. And now there was nothing to stop the role of changes coming up to him. It was as it always had been: he was a pawn in some cruel game of destiny. He always was the pawn: his Mum's pawn, her boyfriend's pawn, the system's pawn. He was no living creature but a thing they jerked around as if he didn't bother. But he did bother. He bothered his Mum's alcoholism, he bothered his brother fucked off, he bothered his father being in jail and he bothered his Mum's boyfriends. And he damn fucking bothered his Mum being dead now. Without warning. She left him, just like that, without a word. She had left him, like his father had left him. She left him alone. And worst of all: thus she was determining his whole life – at least how it was going to be the next two years. Hell, two years can be long – very long. How could she do this to him? Had he been such a bad son? Okay, he has had some trouble, but nothing serious. A few brawls at school and some suspensions. Sure, he had stolen. Fuck, he couldn't have starved for a whole week.

Shit, why was he always the one having to manage all on his own? He didn't want that. At least the sand had some comforting warmth left. Well and the whisky made for the rest. Yes, he shouldn't drink. No, he had no idea what to do else. It…just helped. It helped to pull himself together and not to burst into tears like a baby. It helped to replace the warmth he was missing – for far too long. It helped to forget – just for a moment, but this was worth it. It helped just with everything.

After he had sat a little longer thinking and trying not to get drowned in self-pity the world around him started to blur. His eyelids became heavier with every blink and then he just lay down, curled together and vanished into the depth of darkness.

He awoke when someone was shaking him violently. He groaned. He was tiered. He didn't want to get up yet.

"Hey Ryan…are you okay?" He heard a voice. A male one. Known? Not good, but yes. Man, I just wanna sleep.

"C'mon, give me a sign, you're okay." He slowly opened his eyes and sat up. The sun shone bright. He was shocked to realize, the days of suffering from a bad hangover were gone. Shit. He never had wanted to get that far. But hell, he was his Mum's son, what else was she able to…had she been able to teach him. The whole last day got recapitulated in his mind and he closed his eyes again and let himself drop back into the sand.

"Hey, everything's okay?" The annoying voice still was there.

"How does it look?" He answered, without knowing who was talking to him…SHIT! He immediately opened his eyes and sat up again. No, this wasn't quite the polite behaviour one would expect.

"Sorry." He added, when he saw who the owner of the voice was.

"At least I know you're okay. What are you doing here? I worried when I found you here. Have you been here through whole night?" Stop. So many questions at once. His Mum never asked him…had asked him - right. Mr. Cohen kneeled down to him. He had messed it up – as usual. He never was able to do something right.

"Hey, I asked you something." Was he getting angry? Of course he was. But this man could hide his anger pretty well.

"Yeah…uhm…sorry…just…I dunno…actually…"

"Had been a bad day yesterday." Mr. Cohen glanced at the bottle next to him. From worse to worst. He was a lord in those things.

"Must have a pretty bad hangover." No, he hadn't. But he wasn't sure whether it was good to tell him or not. Better not. He just …say nothing if you want to stay out of trouble. And this was his plan A right now and he had to stick to it.

"C'mon kid, let's go. It's a little cold outside." Mr. Cohen said and got up. He did too. Mr. Cohen wanted to put a hand onto his shoulders. He flinched. He didn't want to be smug or stuff. He just couldn't change it. It was a reflex. While they went down the beach, he recoiled what had happened the day before. Then it went over to some other memories and at the end he came to the conclusion: he should stop whining. He should have known it would come like this. He should have been prepared. He had let his guard down, although his life had taught him how things went for him: from bad to worse and a little later to worst. He knew it and he hadn't paid attention.

They arrived at the Cohen's house.

"You'd better go get a shower and brush your teeth. My wife doesn't need to know about your little beach trip. And then you come and have some breakfast." Uh? What was that? He had done a little…a huge mistake and he still? What was that? This wasn't supposed to happen. Or no, wait. He just makes you feel safe and then in one second he snaps at you, right? He was one of those people catching you, when you let your guard down.

"Don't look at me like that. Did you thought I'll kick you out for this? In fact I don't tolerate what you've done and if you would be Seth you wouldn't leave this house for a month. But you're not Seth and yesterday had been pretty rough, so I just take this as a little gaffe." He only nodded. Just a little gaffe? Hey, he could kick his as for it, with reason. Why didn't he do so? What did he plan? He hated it uncertainty. It was driving him insane, because he never knew when the time had come. But one thing was for sure. He didn't buy his understanding-show.

When he was finished showering and dressed Seth already was waiting for him.

"Do the cloths fit?" He asked him. Seth and borrowed him some of his, due to the fact that he had nothing.

"Yeah…yeah, thanks." He said. He felt uncomfortable. Not only because he was wearing a foreigner's cloths, sleeping at a place he didn't belong to and have behaved like a monkey.

"Hey man, I heard my Dad picked you up from juvies." Well, this was direct and it seemed as if secrets needed to be hid pretty well in this household.

"But don't worry I have no problem that you're a kind of semi-criminal. I mean, we still can be friends, right? Or is this now some kind of gang-thing. You know only hang out with who had been in lock up for longer than four weeks." Clichés, how he hated them.

"I haven't been in for a week." He only said, thinking it would make Seth shut up. But it didn't and he should know that by now.

"Yeah, I know, but you've been in before, right? And now again. I mean now you're a really tough one, drinking, tattoos girls all this, aren't you?"

"Seth I'm not tattooed." And he didn't plan to change this in near time.

"Not yet, right. But I bet you soon will be and then? What then? Will you still greet me? Or will I only be some kind of nerd for you?" He only saw one method to stop him. He threw a pillow at Seth.

"Okay I see this as sign. So, do you wanna have some breakfast?" Seth asked him. He only shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't sure if he wanted. He definitely wasn't hungry. But trying everything to avoid Mr. and Mrs. Cohen only would proof his lack of behaviour.

"C'mon." Seth dragged him with into the huge kitchen. Mrs. Cohen stood in a corner, drinking her coffee. When she looked up at him, he immediately started to focus the floor. She didn't like him and she had enough reasons to do so. He didn't dare to look at her.

"Hey Ryan, good to see you. We were worried when we found the pool house empty." No she wasn't. He could see it on her face and hear it in her voice. For her he only was an intruder, disturbing her household and her family. And he was nothing more. He only wished to vanish into thin air.

"Hey boys!" Mr. Cohen came in. Okay, now it was going to be funny. It won't take long until the whole kitchen new about his little trip to the beach.

"What are your plans for today?" He asked into their direction. Huh? No tell off? No slap into his face? Dude, this man knew what torture meant. This was going to be the hardest weekend in his life.

"I don't know. What would you like to do, Ryan?" He? He had no idea. How could Seth think he knew what to do on weekends? He never did something then, besides some household and then just, doing nothing…like Chino-nothing: meeting some friends and then doing nothing.

"Seth, what about your project in physics?" Mrs. Cohen asked serious. Well, he never had done homework and especially not on the weekend. He asked himself why he never had done so. Could have kept him out of some trouble.

"Yeah." Seth groaned.

"Well then I suggest you do this first."

"But Mum…"

"Seth! You became a little lazy and I don't like your new attitudes towards school." Wow, she really meant it. His Mum never cared if he even went to school … had cared. Right. Now she would never care anymore. Well, no change there. But…can't he just forget what had happened the last – approximately – forty-eight hours?

"Seth, your Mum's right. First your school work." His father as well? Both? Wow. He couldn't even imagine how it was like his Mum asking him how school was. She had done it once in a while and it always had felt awkward.

"Okay, can Ryan help me?" Seth asked defeated.

"I don't know if it's such a good idea. I mean – no offence Ryan – but I don't think he can help you in this." Okay the conversation took a direction he didn't like.

"But Mum…" Seth seemed to be back in his five-years-state.

"Seth, it's okay. I can survive a few hours on my own. I just leave you and you can meet me later." He tried to prevent any worse.

"Ryan, you don't have to leave the house. You also can stay here and wait for Seth." Mr. Cohen intervened now.

"No…it's okay." He said and was already on his way out.

"But Mum, if he helps me, I'll be finished with it faster."

"Or never." Mrs. Cohen answered.

"But he also helped me with my math homework. He can do this." Seth protested. It felt strange. Never anyone had tried to convince someone else from him.

"Why not? A little teamwork." Mr. Cohen answered.

"But Sandy, Seth is in an advanced course in every subject. I can't imagine Ryan only understands half of it."

"No, he understands everything. He's the reason why I caught up in math that fast."

"Why not, Kirsten? Let them just spend some time together." Mr. Cohen said.

"Okay, but you'll do your homework in the dinning room thus I can watch you, doing them." Mrs. Cohen answered.

"Hey Ryan, you can come back!" Seth called after him. He slowly made his way back. He felt the angry glance from Mrs. Cohen and it made him feel guilty. He just left his head where it was – down.

"Okay, I'm surfing now." Mr. Cohen said and thus they were left alone. Seth, Mrs. Cohen and he. He felt miserably uncomfortable. Why wasn't there any emergency exit? He really could need one right now.

"C'mon Ryan, sit down. I bet this is not as bad as math." Seth said and went to get his stuff. He was alone - alone with Mrs. Cohen, who would kill him if she could. Or? Last night had been awkward. She had cared, although she hated him. He still felt her angry glances in his neck. It wasn't his fault – this time, or? Was it his? Was he the reason for this dispute? Probably, because if he hadn't been there, this hadn't happen. He wished he never had come here with Mr. Cohen. He only wanted to run, but this only would get him into more trouble and he didn't need any more.

Now it was time to go. He was glad to leave the house. He wasn't able to get rid of this curious feeling he carried around since he had arrived here. When they went out the driveway he saw her again. The most beautiful girl in the world.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She asked him.

"Meeting Seth."

"Uh…and what are you two going to do?"

"Hang out. No idea. And what are you doing?"

"Waiting." Something was curious about her. She was different – in somehow. In front of him didn't stand the warm-hearted girl with the huge smile and bright eyes. Something was bothering her.

"And whom are you waiting for?" She looked at him and then onto the floor.

"If you promise me, not to be angry at me." She whispered. Okay, there was something utterly wring here.

"Why would I?"

"It…It's Luke. Listen, I don't want to be with him anymore…but…my Mum thinks he's such a nice guy, well behaviour and stuff. She already had planed my future for him and it's hard to tell her…that…he's not the one…that I don't want to spend my future with him." Bang! This felt like a slap into his face. Sure, he should have seen this coming. The poor boy from Chino was nothing more than a nice little adventure. Of course he was nothing more. How had he been able to think, a girl like this could like him? He couldn't offer her anything, despite himself.

"Well, then have fun." He said. It was hard not to let bitterness overwhelm him. He still liked her too much, as if he could hurt her.

"Ryan, don't get this wrong. If I could…"

"What was there to get wrong?" He bites back and when Seth appears just went off. He didn't want to see her, because it broke his heart. He considered himself as smart? Failed. He was a dumb ass.

It was getting late, but spending time with Seth never got boring and he was able to distract him. He asked himself how such a creative boy like Seth had no friends. Okay, he was talking a little too much, but hey, everybody has some kind of tic or? They were on their way back. The sun was hidden behind a huge black cloud and it seemed as if rain was coming up. The air smelled like rain and the wind had gotten stronger. Seth didn't recognize any of it. Probably because he never was forced to stay outside of his home longer than he wanted to. He probably never had spent some days on the streets.

"Stop! Leave me alone!" They heard a hysteric voice screaming. This sounded like trouble. Seth looked at him and it was as if they both had the same thought at the same time. Both headed into the direction the voice came from.

"Don't. You can…you can have my…my… purse, my mon…money and I won't …won't inform the police." The loud hysteric voice had turned into a whimper, interrupted by heavy sobs. He knew these sounds quite too well, but he never had thought hearing them in this area.

"What if I don't want only your purse?" There was this deep and silent male voice. Seth looked at him as they reached the scene. He only could imagine how the girl must feel…wait…what? It was Marissa? What was she doing here? It was already late and a girl like she wasn't supposed to be out alone at this time. Where the fuck was her super-boyfriend?

"Please…don't." She was crying.

"Don't worry, I'm smooth as I can." Seth still was looking at him. Of course he had no clue what to do. For him this was as new as it was for Marissa – as it should be new for him.

"You won't." He said. The man looked at him.

"Who are you?" The man got off of Marissa and went towards him, but stopped after a few steps.

"Someone who'll kick your ass, if you won't leave her alone." He only answered.

"Nice." The man said and then he only felt how his cheekbone connected with a fist. A burning sensation went over his cheek, but he was still on his feet.

"Okay, you were the first, what means this…" He hauled off and then with his whole force beat the man back. He collapsed onto his knees. Now he was the one of was whimpering.

"is self-defence." He turned to Seth who was holding crying Marissa in his arm. Damn, now he was jealous, but he didn't show it.

"Hey, this looks as if it hurts." Seth commented about his cheek.

"Is okay." He only said. If he considered this as hurtful, what was meant real pain for him? For him this was nothing he couldn't take care of himself, thus it couldn't be that bad.

"Oh God!" Marissa called out and ran into his arms. Hu? Okay, just take the chance. He put his arms around her.

"Is okay, everything's fine." He said in low voice, soothing her.

"Let get you back home." And they went off. She didn't leave his side.

"I'm…so sorry, for…what I said earlier. I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"'s okay. But where's your boyfriend now?" He wasn't able to hold back this question. What kind of boyfriend was this Luke? Leaving his girl alone in such a night? Hell, it should have been his cheek throbbing with pain, not his.

"With his friends. He's not my boyfriend…it's …Damn, I was angry when you said you left. I was hurt. I felt as if I only was some kind of game for you. Could I have known that you come back one day?" Shit. Right, he had messed it up.

"Sorry, I…"

"You fucking left me, without explanation. And I though it was serious between us!" She screamed. He felt bad. Really bad.

"Sorry, I…I had no choice." He owed her an explanation. That was true.

"You had no choice? What the fuck could have been that important that you left me? What the fuck would have happened to you, if you had stayed?"

"They send me into a foster home, that's what I wanted to avoid." He had trouble to stay calm.

"So what? Better than having no place to stay. At least you would have stayed here."

"No, that's the problem. They…send me to wherever they want me to. And if I had been able to run, I could have come back. But now, I have to stay at some fucked up place for the next two years." He looked into her eyes. She didn't say anything. Of course she had no idea. She felt betrayed and she had all right to.

"Marissa, what he wanted to tell you, was that he ran so he could be able to see you again." Seth disturbed the silence.

"I know Cohen…and…is it true that it got you in trouble, like juvies?" She asked shyly.

"Yes, but how do you know?"

"Newport gossip is faster than a forest fire." Seth answers.

"Ryan, you can't leave. I need you. They can't send you away."

"This isn't in my hand."


	15. Picture

**_Picture_**

**A**fter a few hours the boys were finished. She was surprised to see Ryan really was able to help Seth in somehow. What did somehow mean? He really has had a hand in this homework. She never had thought a boy, who had left school – public school – would be able to understand what was taught at Harbor. On the other hand, she also had thought Ryan was one of these rude and impolite boys – without behaviour, smug. He wasn't. He was shy - extremely shy. He felt uncomfortable, she could see it. She asked herself what made him feel like that. On the other hand, who knew what he had up on his mind? She still didn't trust him. And indeed he was smug. He just hadn't been since her husband had brought him home. But there was this sad expression in his eyes and the way he had acted, when she had treated his wounds. It was hard to imagine he was one of these rude street kids. No, it was even impossible. Who knew through how much pain and negligence the boy already had gone through?

She went into the kitchen. Her son at least could have brought his homework into his room. All books and papers were spread out onto the table in the dinning room. She had a quick look. The book still was opened on the same page it had been a few hours ago. She never did what she felt she had to do now. She took one of her son's writing pads and thumbed through it. She wondered, since when did his son change his handwriting? He never did. No one changed his or her hand writing within a day. She shook her head. Who knew what was behind this. She knew her son, thus it wouldn't be a new experience if he just had started a new kind of experiment. She took the loose papers - Ryan had used, and put them together on one pile. One moment. This wasn't true, was it? She took one paper and then took Seth's writing pad. She thumbed through the pages and there it was. The handwriting, it was similar – similar to Ryan's. Now she understood why her son wanted this boy to stay. He hadn't changed his attitude towards school, he only had found someone to exploit. No, this couldn't be her son's idea. He never would do so. But a boy like Ryan – would he come to the idea to make a stranger's homework? This was ridiculous. But if it hadn't been Ryan's idea it would destroy the picture she had about him and she was reluctant to let this picture go. Oh, right. It was already cracked since last night. But this was one reason more, not to let it break into pieces. She looked again at the hand-writing. These two boys were real friends. Why then should a boy like Ryan waste his time with doing a stranger's homework? And from one second to another she felt how her picture felt apart. She started to be sad. This boy was intelligent and had no chance to make something of it. No wonder that he acted rude from time to time. It must be frustrating to be…capable of so many things and not being able to use it. As it seemed her husband was right. There was really something special about the boy. But who told her, he wasn't just playing a role to disturb their area. Like: winning their trust and then rob them? To find out there was only one solution: wait and watch. She was sure at the end her son and husband will see, what kind of boy they had brought into their society. Well, she started to hate herself for this thought, as she knew deep down inside the reason was another one and if this reason wouldn't exist, she would think completely different about the boy.

"Sandy?" She called through the house. She got no response, but she heard her husband was coming downstairs. They needed to talk about this.

"What's wrong?" He asked her. As usual he wore his smile and polite face.

"This is wrong." She shoved the two papers towards him. He looked at them and then shrugged his shoulders.

"What's wrong with them?" He asked.

"This." She showed him another paper to show him the differences between these handwritings.

"Different handwritings. And what's the matter?"

"These loose papers had been Ryan's. This pad is Seth's." She answered. Her husband frowned and took a second, careful look at the two papers.

"Okay, and what do you want to tell me?"

"Seth had let Ryan do his homework. This is the reason, why he wanted Ryan to stay until he was finished with it." She started to explain.

"Honey, you said yourself, this is impossible. Ryan went to a public school that he didn't even visit frequently. He even wanted to get released. He never could do this." Her heart clenched when her husband repeated her words. She should stop giving the boy such a hard time. He didn't deserve it. Not anymore. Not since she had been able to see behind the façade of rudeness. But one day he would force her to talk. There were so many mixed feelings inside of her. She wasn't sure how long she was able to hold back – how long it took for her to burst. And then Sandy would know and he would leave her, because what she had done was unacceptable.

"I was wrong Sandy." She admitted.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And what do you think we shell do now?" She had to do something. She needed to see she was right about the boy. She needed her husband and son to see that she was right. She didn't want to get destroyed through him. And there she was. Hew own well-being was more important to her than the well-being of this sixteen years old boy, who had nobody and nothing.

"Talk to the boys, see if you're right."

"Sandy, I…I can't watch this any longer…"

"Kirsten, the boy only had helped Seth a little more than he should have. But that's normal for teenagers." Again she got struck by her own prejudices. Her husband used to be the mirror of her failures, and her attitude towards the boy clearly could be one, if she wasn't able to prove the opposite.

"What I wanted to say is that we need to help him. He's a real smart kid. He needs to get a chance. Sandy, if he uses this he can get very far from here and leave his former life behind." But he won't want to. He still was the same criminal. He only had build up a wall - one she had looked behind last night.

"Sorry to ask, but what changed your attitude?"

"Nothing. But when you're right about him, we should help him. Maybe he's not as bad, as I thought before." Before her picture started to crumble.

"And what are you thinking about?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll find something." She said.

It was already dark outside and the boys weren't back yet. When she saw the dark – black – clouds outside, she knew there was foul weather coming up. She became nervous. What if this boy had done something to her son and he never came back? And where was her husband? Okay, she was suspicious about the boy and maybe it was a little too much of suspicion. But she had shown that she was willing to give way. But it was hard to imagine her son being out so long with some boy from Chino. Who told her that her son didn't get involved in some gang- thing?

She heard the door was opened. Her son was back. Thank god, this boy… her thoughts trailed of. Her son walked through the kitchen, safe and sound. The boy followed him. His head ducked, but she saw what was on his face.

"Okay boys, what had happened?" She wouldn't let them through with this.

"You won't believe it Mum, but there was this guy. He wanted to mug Marissa Cooper, you got me right: Marissa Cooper. She was screaming and crying and we went to see what was going on there and then there was this man, not only wanting to mug her, but probably even more and Ryan just told him to leave her. Of course this man didn't listen to Ryan and punched his face, but Ryan didn't move. This punch not even unhinged Ryan. And then Ryan hauled off and Bang! The man collapsed and fell to the floor, like a stone. You should have seen it Mum, this was …great." She only nodded. She hadn't been able to detect what was truth and what was lie.

"Who fell onto the floor?" She heard her husband again.

"Some guy Ryan fought with." She answered. The boy was a little too quiet for her taste. Why didn't he say anything? Why did Seth do the whole talk? She had trouble to believe that it was only the boy's fault. She had seen him last night. But there was the glimmer of possibility and the fact that the boy had gotten her son into danger. No matter how smart this boy was, this didn't justify he's endangering her son.

"What? You guys got into a fight?" Thanks. Now her husband was stunned. Now her picture stood upright again. There was no sign she wanted to help him anymore. She only wanted him to …leave.

"No…no real fight. It was more some kind of rescue-manoeuvre. I mean if we…if Ryan hadn't stepped in, who knows what had happened to Marissa." Her son went on. The boy still focused the floor.

"Marissa Cooper?" Her husband asked further.

"Yes, ask her. She'll tell you the same." Her son answered. Sure. Marissa was an accomplished girl. She never would stay out that late when it was already dark.

"After you told her to tell us this, in case we ask." She only stated.

"What is your version, Ryan?" Her husband asked. He ha switched into the lawyer mode.

"Uh…well…I…Seth is right." He stammered. If this was the case, why did he stammer? The boy's behaviour was an indicator for his lying. But last night he hadn't been more self-confident. Maybe this was only an effect from his lack of self-confidence. Her feelings again got into a fight.

"C'mon. You don't want to tell me you're innocent in this?" She asked him. This time the rational part of her had taken control.

"That's true, it had been my decision to go and see what was happening. I should have turned around and ignore what I was hearing." These blue eyes, this blond hair. And now? He turned out to be smart and…stubborn. All this as if …stood in front of her…This was impossible. He wasn't old enough. But looking at him made her heart clench.

"What do you want to tell me through this?" She now screamed.

"That…that in your opinion it's better to leave other people alone in dangerous situations than helping them and getting involved." Here it was. He was smug. A smug rude boy. She had told her husband before how this would end up and here they were: her son had turned into a rebellious liar. And this boy was insulting them. Now, this was the proof. _They _had nothing in common. She was sure if…. She never would have been responsible for such a rude mouth.

"I let you into my house and as reward you start talking to me like that?!" She snapped. This boy needed to learn behaviour. She didn't want to be like that. But she had to protect her family. The good impression she had gotten earlier wasn't existent anymore. It only counted what had happened this evening.

"You're right, had been the worst decision I've ever made." With these words the boy past them and went out to the patio.

"Where do you think you're going?" She yelled after him. She wasn't going to let him treat her like this.

"Grabbing my cloths and then leave." Huh? This was easy. At least the boy knew when it was time to go.

"Wait, maybe we find a solution for this." Her husband now intervened, but the boy was already gone.

"What solution?" She had caught herself again.

"When it's right what the boys are saying, I see no reason why Ryan can't stay. He hasn't done anything wrong." Jesus, what had to happen to make her husband understand what this was about?

"He had gotten our son into a fight. I think this is reason enough." She only stated and then met the angry eyes of her son. This was anything else than rational. She only wasn't able to act different.

"Mum, why don't you believe us? He hadn't gotten me into a fight. He was the only one fighting. He was defending Marissa Cooper." He was really stubborn. He must have this from his father, she thought.

"Why don't I go and ask?" Her husband offered, but then she saw how his glance went outside.

"Where do you think you're going?" He called out. The boy was on his way to … what did she care where he went? She only was glad that he had decided to leave her home. The boy didn't seem to stop. He husband sighed and went out.

"Where do you wanna go?" She watched the scene and listened. The boy stood there, wearing his own cloths again.

"Back."

"Back? Where back?"

"Chino." His answers were a little short. But she really didn't care. She only wanted him out of her house, out of her life and especially out of her son's life.

"And where do you stay?" The boy shrugged his shoulders. She had seen his face – his eyes. They had been so cold. She never had seen a kid with such an expression on his face.

"Ryan, it's going to rain."

"Then I should hope it's not going to last longer than two and a half hour." With these words the boy passed her husband. Her husband shook his head and came back. Her son looked at her as if he was close to having a fit of rage he used to have when he was five.

"What went into you? What about 'we need to help him'?" She had no answer to this. She had reacted inappropriate. She saw it.

"I don't think that this was necessary." Her husband only said and then went off. She stood there, tears in her eyes. Her feelings never had been in such a conflict before. What was it about this boy? Was it only the fact that he was a reminder of something or was there more?

"But Dad, you can't let him go. You said yourself he has no place to stay and when it starts raining? He'll get sick out there!" Her son called after his father.

"I'm sorry son. But…I'm sure he'll survive this. He's used to eke out a living on his own." With these words he shot some angry glances at her. As if she understood what he wanted to tell her…she did. She just repressed it. It had been a mistake to let off of the picture. It had been wrong to give way last night and this after noon.

* * *

**P.S. **This was the last Kirsten-is-a-b****-chapter. PROMISED!!!

* * *


	16. Perspective in a Monday

**A/N.:** For all those who wanted a quick up-date. But hell, now my fingers need a break. :) Have fun and enjoy

And before I forget. The social-worker is MY character. So if you steal it from me, I'll declare war. And I'm a damn f****** good law-student, so don't mess up with me ;)

* * *

**_Perspective on a Monday_**

**O**n Monday he got up early. He wanted to meet Ryan's social worker before his appointment at court. He hadn't had a quiet minute, since he had left. He knew this boy was tough and that he knew how to survive. On the other hand the thunderstorm hadn't lasted only for tow and a half hour and he had witnessed that the boy has had no place to stay. He didn't understand his wife and this mainly was the reason why they hadn't talked a bit through the rest of the weekend. Now he waited for this social worker in a coffee bar.

"Mr. Cohen?" A male voice asked behind his back. He turned around and saw the social worker. He had a concerned expression on his face.

"Hello, is…something wrong with Ryan?" He asked immediately. He never would forgive himself, if something had happened to the boy.

"That's what I'm supposed to ask you." Oh, yes. He was the lawyer, the carrier of bad messages.

"Uhm…no Mr.…" Why didn't he know the man's name?

"Call me Neil."

"Well, okay, then…I'm Sandy." The man nodded and then sat down in a chair in front of him.

"Can I get you something?"

"A coffee if it's okay." He nodded, gave the waitress a sign and ordered the coffee. "Black or with milk?"

"Black." Neil answered. "So what is your concern?" He asked. He liked this man. He was direct and he seemed to care. Okay, he was young. Let him stay in his job a few years longer and he will be numb as the rest of them…well, despite his mother of course. She put her heart and soul in her job.

"Well, on Friday…" How was he able to explain this? He had a bad conscience of what had happened on Saturday, although there had been nothing he could have done to prevent this. He should have known before that his wife wasn't going to take it easy with the boy. But he had ignored it. He just had hoped his wife hadn't turned in one of these Newpsies - cold-hearted, self-absorbed and full of prejudices. Gee, she never had been like this before. She had started to work together with her Dad and turned into a…into a…part-time-bitch. One didn't lose his characteristics just like that or? No, not his wife. He still carried some hope she might turn back into the woman he had married twenty years ago.

"Sandy?" The man in front of him asked. He hadn't recognized he had gotten lost in his thoughts.

"Uh…yes. Sorry. Just a lots on my mind. It's just…I don't know if you already know about…"

"His mother's death. Yes, I'm already in the know of that."

"Oh, okay. I brought him to the child's service but they told me they couldn't help him before Monday and then …I just didn't find a place for him to stay and I…took him home with me…because he and my son a pretty good friends…unfortunately this didn't work out well and he left on Saturday and since then I haven't heard from him again, neither my son has."

"Oh my God, had he gotten you in any trouble?" The social worker asked immediately. Why in hell's name did it always have to be these kids's fault that something didn't work out?

"No, no, he hadn't made any problems…just…my wife…wasn't …didn't agree with my decision to bring him home and…well this had led to some conflicts, but nothing what can be considered as his fault." He took the blame off the boy. As hard as it sounded, but he had to admit: this time it had been his wife. Sometimes he asked himself how long he was able to bear any more of his wife's new behaviour.

"Oh, okay. I haven't met him yet, but don't worry, he survives being on his own. He's a tough kid." It was relieving to hear those words, but it also was hurtful. This boy wasn't older than his son and he was already completely on his own. This couldn't be good for such a boy. He doubted that this boy belonged to those rough street kids. He doubted he was as rough as he pretended to be. He had no clue why he thought like that. It just was some kind of…of lawyer instinct. And if he was right, this boy couldn't easily survive on the streets.

"And what happens with him?" He asked. He wanted to help the boy – that bad that it hurt to notice there was nothing in his power he could do.

"Honestly?" The social worker asked. He nodded. "I don't know. There is no space for him – at least not in this area - neither in a group home, nor in a foster home. He probably appreciates it, if we just leave him on his own and I would agree with it. Since I know him, he manages his life one his own. But then again I need someone who'll take care that he goes to school frequently and I need a school which can offer him a little more, plus I want him out of the influence of his surrounding. What means, I have to find a group home for him."

"What means, you want him out…of Chino." He concluded.

"Exactly. But this isn't as easy. He needs a perspective. Otherwise it doesn't matter where I bring him to, because he'll run. He needs a surrounding that pushes him a little more. He needs someone who can put up with him, whom he trust and who can keep him on the right way – just someone who he allows to guide him. " Listening to all this was a hard reminder of his life, before he had been able to escape at the age of seventeen. He had gotten his act together, before it had been too late. His life since then hadn't been much better than Ryan's. Who knew what had happened, if he hadn't gotten the chance to make something out of his life- studying law in Berkeley, getting a chance to make it better than his…father. He felt the urge to be this someone for the kid, because he had been this kid: growing up in the wrong area, no money, smart and no chance to make something of it.

"How long?" He asked. He knew the social worker understood this question. The social worker sighed.

"You're asking for a prognosis. I have two years left with him, so I guess there won't happen a lot in that time, unless fate strikes his life with a little more force than usual. And then, if he has no perspective, nothing to work for, no aim…I don't think longer than …approximately nineteen. Latest with twenty and he's a common visitor in jail." This was what he wanted to hear. No he didn't want to hear that, because he felt helpless. Watching such a kid losing his way – losing it fast – made his job so damn hard that he just wanted to quit it from one second to the other.

"But maybe he'll make it even though. There are kids with worth backgrounds who had made it through life without jail. Not that I wanna say what he went through isn't as bad, but…"

"You're talking about what I gave to you." Stop! What? He was the boy's lawyer he was supposed to be in the know of everything concerning the boy. Everything else was endangering his defending measures.

"You have suppressed information?"

"Nothing what could have handicapped your work. I just needed to do this, because there had been public defenders like you, who only had wanted to help, but had made it worse instead."

"But it's not your decision what you give me and what not!" He had trouble to remain quiet enough that the other visitors of the café didn't get a chance to listen to the conversation.

"I had to do this. In the moment I'm the only one Ryan trusts – although it's only a little. I can't risk this. The boy is on a fast trail to destruction - it's obvious. If he finds out I misused his trust, he's gone and faster in jail or even…than I told you a few secs before." Okay, this sounded as if he couldn't do anything, even not when his wife agreed.

"Oh…I didn't…I mean. He doesn't make the impression of…you understand what I want to say." Sandy Cohen speechless. This was as rare as a not-talking Seth – impossible. He had to take this as sign and just leave things as they were.

"That's true. He's a fighter. And now I have to leave you. I need to talk to Ryan and find a solution where to accommodate him."

"Good luck with that." He said. Then the social worker left and he remained - dragged in his thoughts. This boy really was smart. He had seen it with his eyes. He had trouble to imagine such a boy unable to stay on his way. He had to be able to realize that some action had consequences. He had to be able to see that violating the law didn't do him any good. He had to be able to understand that drinking and fighting didn't solve his problems. He was smart enough to know all this. But why did he still act as if he didn't? He had no one, who told him that actions had consequences – who explained it to him. There was nobody, who showed him how to deal with conflicts and problems the right way. He was on his own. Such a smart kid and this surrounding. He watched how the social worker walked down the street. How to give him a chance? This boy had saved his son's life and himself had no one who was saving his. What…He jumped up his seat like a scalded cat and ran after the social worker. Maybe there was something he could do for the boy. Maybe there was a chance to give him a perspective.

"Neil!" He called, while he was running as fast as he could to catch up on him. Man, he was getting old. His breath went faster than his legs moved. No, surfing definitely didn't help to improve one's shape.

"Neil, wait!" He still called. Thanks Moses. Neil stopped and turned around. Heavy breathing he reached him.

"What's wrong?" The man just asked, while he tried to catch his breath again. His pulse was running a marathon.

"The school - my son goes to – awards a scholarship, once a year. Maybe Ryan can try and apply for it. "

"What school does your son go to?"

"Harbor High School."

"A private High School and the Harbor? Does he have a chance?"

"He had done my son's math homework since they know each other and my son goes to the advanced classes and still is a very good student and this hadn't changed." The social worker dropped his face.

"Wow, this wasn't what I expected he was capable of. But – no offence – I don't think he's having a chance, with his background."

"Not necessarily. I could be his interceder." Maybe this way he got the chance to give back, what then boy had given him…or better what he had given his son: a life. The social worker sighed.

"I'm honest. I don't think this will work. He has no chance and he'll figure it. He'll lose hope only before it had started." Now, he became angry. There was a great opportunity in near sight and this man didn't even want to think of it.

"Why don't we let him decide?"

"He'll say no."

"Then why don't you try to persuade him. He has a chance and he deserves it. He can make it, if he braces himself."

"You don't understand this. These are two different worlds which will collide and … this will neither be good for the other – your son – nor for Ryan." He never had been such grateful for his experiences like he was now. Because now he was the one being able to tell a different story, to show this wasn't what had to happen.

"I understand only too well what you're thinking to tell you, this is …bullshit." Now his anger had slipped his mouth.

"But …" The social worker had the courage to argue with him?

"I know exactly what it means coming from an area like Chino to one like Newport, only that I'm from the Bronx."

"Oh…well, then, you really know what you're talking about. Okay, we can give it a try, but I need to be informed about every step and if I find out you're only messing around with him, you'll suffer the consequences." Okay, he considered this as a declaration of war. But he was more than willing to get into this.


	17. The Test

**A/N.:** Thanks for your nice reviews. So here's another chapter and there's so much drama coming up in the next ones. (fun) Have fun and enjoy ;)

* * *

**_The Test!_**

**H**e sat in his social worker's office. No, he wasn't in any mood to talk to him. Yes, he had to.

"Hey Ryan." Neil said when he entered the room. He didn't respond, but offered a lopsided smile. He sat down on the chair across from him, opened a file and started to flip through it. Then he closed it again, sighed and looked at him – seriously. This was the sign, something was wrong.

"Ryan, first of all I…want to let you know how sorry I am for what…had happened to your mother." He closed his eyes, because he didn't want to see how the lips were forming these words. He didn't even want to listen to this sentence.

"Unfortunately I still don't know where your brother is, what means, we need to find a place for you to stay." Foster home. How he started to hate his life.

"And I need to get you back to school." It even was possible to get worse. He rolled his eyes. Just to let Neil know there was no need to bother with his education. It was only wasted time.

"I know school is not really fun. But I got …no you can get the opportunity to apply for a scholarship at one very High School – at Harbor High School." Very funny, ha, ha. As if these people would let him close to their school.

"Ryan, I'm serious. You get the chance to escape from this here. If you graduate there, all doors are open for you." How often had he listened to these phrases? Did he still look like someone who believed this?

"Honestly Neil, they won't even let me close to their buildings, not to mention letting me attend to an application for a scholarship at their school. This is just ridiculous." He was realist. He knew what worked and what not and last Saturday had been the best proof: he and Newport Beach didn't match.

"I already registered you for the application test." Bam! Where was his right for a free will? He concluded: no where. He was officially government property meaning he had none.

"There was no possibility to ask me first?" He growled. He hated it, when someone made his decisions.

"Ryan, when I had asked you before, we would have come to the same conversation we're faced with now. I only want you to do your best. Just stop playing the dumb rude boy this single time." He wasn't sure if he played it. He was. This was a fact.

"I know what you're capable of. So, don't pretend I don't."

"Sure, but this is in Newport. I'm living in Chino. These are two and a half hour by bus and this nearly everyday. I don't think this'll work."

"Just go to the test and I take care of the rest." He was defeated. He saw it in Neil's face. No matter what arguments he tried, Neil would know something to reply to it.

"Yes, Sir. When and where?" He only asked. If he got this chance, he should at least take it - although this project was doomed to failure.

"Here. Mr. Cohen will pick you up. It had been his idea. You didn't tell me that you have a new friend and for once a none-criminal one." Neil said cheering. Boah, this was enough. This lawyer really didn't understand the word no and on top Neil's obsession of having to be in the know of every single detail of his life. Freaking. Where was some space for his privacy?

"I don't have to tell you everything." He took the paper - Neil had written down on the date, time and place when the test will take place – and got up.

"Okay, then we're finished for now." Ryan was on his way to the door then turned back to Neil.

"Thanks." He said waving the paper and then left for his day - a funny one, because again he had to look for a new job. His short trip to juvies hadn't impressed his boss.

The day of the test. Yes, he was nervous. Nervous, because he was afraid of how these people were going to react when he entered their holly halls. Shit! Since when was he afraid of tests? I never had been before. What if he wasn't able to pass it? C'mon, of course he wasn't able to pass it, but…he was afraid to end up as a complete dumb ass among genius. And yes, he was nervous to meet Mr. Cohen and Seth again. He hadn't met Seth again after his show. His behaviour had been wrong. But this woman was driving him crazy. No matter what he did, she only believed the opposite, unless he had messed it up in real. What led Mr. Cohen to the idea he wanted attend such a school? Why had he even offered him this opportunity? He had affronted his wife and in somehow him. He should be done with him. Why? Maybe he was one of those very malicious people, who liked to see others suffer only to demonstrate their power. He saw the black car driving towards him. He still had time to run. He still could drop this. There was no need for this torture. He never was going to make it. Neil knew it, he knew it and he was sure, Mr. Cohen did too. The car came closer and closer. Now. He turned around and his legs started to move from themselves. Ouch. Not good. But better than…

"Hey, Ryan!" He heard Mr. Cohen calling. He didn't stop. This wasn't right, he knew it. But this was his only chance to escape. Ouch…again. He should quit moving for the next couple of days.

"Hey Ryan, dude. Where do you wanna go?" Seth. Seth? What was he doing here? After all trouble he has had with him, he still was there? Why? Seth caught up on him.

"Man, where do you think you're going?" He only shrugged his shoulders.

"C'mon, my Dad drives us. Besides, why are you limping?" Busy streets, a lot of too fast cars and now add rain to it when it's already dark. Seth padded his back. Ouch. He tensed up. Right, his weekend had been everything else than successful.

"What's wrong with you?" Seth asked him.

"What?"

"You flinched." Shit. Shit. Shit. This day was going to be hell.

"Nothing…just…dunno. Did I?"

"Yes you did." Seth replied, looking suspiciously at him. He shrugged his shoulders and followed him.

"Hey Ryan, where were you going?" Mr. Cohen asked him.

"Hi…uh…just…"

"Are you afraid?" Bang!

"Uh…No…why would I?" Because two worlds were going to collide. H was the husband of this monster-Newport-career-woman and he was the delinquent endangering his son. So, these were enough reasons for being afraid, or?

"Okay that's good. There is nothing you need to be afraid of. I'm sure this test won't be too challenging for you – smart kid like you." He padded his back. Ouch! Once again and he was sure he was going to cry like a baby.

"You did it again." Seth stated.

"What?" He asked. Did pretending to not understand count as lying?

"You flinched." He had to find a good excuse for this, but now he had no time to do so.

"Seth, Ryan, get into the car. We don't want to be late." Mr. Cohen looked at him. He wasn't sure what it was, but this man had something in his glance telling him he was looking straight through him. He only hoped he didn't.

The ride was hell. His back was one stabbing pain, not to mention his f…. leg. He tried to blank it out, but it only helped him to look concentrated thus no one dared to disturb him. Well, this was good either. Thus he hadn't to talk to anyone.

They arrived at the school. He was stunned. This looked huge. This looked fancy. This looked expensive. They both got out of the car.

"Hey and what do you say?" Seth asked him.

"And this is your school?"

"Yep."

"Okay, Ryan. Let's go to Dr. Kim. She'll explain you the whole procedure." Mr. Cohen said and went ahead. He and Seth followed. He had a quick look onto the fingerposts.

"You have a tennis court and a swimming pool?" He asked confused. This more was some kind of Hollywood coulisse than a real school.

"Of course, for the water polo team. Your school hadn't?"

"Does a basketball court count?" Oh God, he felt in a miserable way pathetic. He looked at these cloths. He wore his cheap jeans and a ship t-shirt. Not that he possessed anything with value. But those people drove to school in a Z3 BMW. He wished he just could vanish into the depth of nothing.

"Okay Seth, I think you have classes now. Ryan you come with me." Mr. Cohen said.

"Good luck man. Maybe you can do me the favour and get this scholarship. Would be cool." Seth encouraged him and then left. Only now he noticed there was nobody greeting Seth. Even at his school everybody greeted each other although you weren't friends. It seemed as if he hadn't exaggerated, when he had been describing his school-horror.

They sat on a bench, waiting for Dr. Kim having some time left. With every passing second the curious feeling inside was increasing. He focused the floor only to think of something else.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" A female voice asked him. She. She again. She was here as well? This meant: even more reason to go here or enough reason not to – considering her boyfriend and his violence.

"Yeah."

"Hi, Mr. Cohen."

"Hi, Marissa, how are you?"

"I'm fine, but Ryan what are you doing here."

"Hu…" Lack of language. It increased when he already was nervous.

"He's attending the test for the scholarship." Mr. Cohen answered. Embarrassing.

"Oh, cool. That would be awesome. Sorry, but I gotta go to classes. Ah, and Ryan…" She turned back to him, with this cute smile on her face and these bright eyes.

"Thank you for…you know Saturday and good luck." Okay, this wasn't the best moment to remind him of that.

"It's okay." He said.

"No, it's not. Not everyone would have done this. Sorry but now I really have to go. Good luck." She said, gave him a quick kiss onto his cheek and then went off.

"She's a nice girl." Mr. Cohen said. Unfortunately she also was already given away.

"Mr. Cohen?"

"That's our catchword." They went into the office. It was huge and furnished with mahogany furniture.

"Hello Mr. Cohen." She greeted formally. "And you must be Ryan." She said. "Then sit down and I'll explain the procedure to you." He nodded. His heart beat in his throat.

"You'll have to do a written test which will test some basic skills, which you'll need to be able to attend classes here. Afterwards you'll have a little conversation with some teachers about their subjects." Conversations? Talking? He and talking in this state? Why hadn't he run faster? He was such nervous, he even forgot about the pain in his back and leg.

"We'll evaluate you results and then we'll meet again."

She led him to a room. She handed him a couple of papers and yes, he had no clue how he was supposed to find all the answers. Oh man, this had been a very wrong decision. No, no, no. Panic wasn't in his vocabulary. Then he started to run through the test.

"Your test results are excellent." Dr. Kim started. "But I'm sorry to tell you that we awarded the scholarship to someone else." This was hard. But he had known it before.

"May I ask where his weak points are?" Mr. Cohen asked. This was more than excrescent. Dr. Kim cleared her throat.

"Well, technically his skills are excellent as I've said, but his background makes some problems." Thud. Now he was back down on earth. His past – his so called background. No, he wasn't going to be angry. He just wasn't able to hide his frustration.

"What do you mean? His background makes some problems?"

"His file says that he was suspended from his former school several times, because of violent actions. Later he skipped school. And then there are his priors. Mr. Cohen, I don't have to explain to you what kind of insurgency we can expect from the other parents."

"Can't you just give me a chance? I'll show I can leave all this behind." He tried. Maybe if she saw he was serious with this…

"I'm sure you can, but not here."

"Because I'm the delinquent from the wrong area of the state. Thanks for reminding me." He got up. There was nothing more to be said.

"Ryan, it's not personal, but your surrounding, the influence. I mean your parents…" He threw an angry glare at her and she left this topic.

"I'm afraid this might infect the others." She finished her lecture.

"I didn't choose my family and I didn't choose the place I grew up in. But I'll never allow someone to tell me all this isn't good enough." With these words he headed out the room.

"Ryan, wait." What did this man want more? What had happened only a few minutes ago, had felt like a slap into his face.

"Kid, don't be down in the mouth. We can find a solution." He sighed.

"Mr. Cohen, I'm really grateful for your efforts, but this wasn't supposed to work and it never will."

"And where do you wanna go now?" He shrugged his shoulders. Neil still hadn't found a place for him and he wasn't sure if he was happy about it.


	18. Four versus Kirsten

**_Four versus Kirsten_**

**S**he sat on the patio enjoying her tea and her peace. She had convinced herself that an eight hour working day was enough and she'll stick to this plan. She heard her husband was coming home.

"How was your day?" She called him. She was sure he was going to be surprised.

"You're already home?" He asked, coming out the patio. She only smiled. He gave her a kiss.

"So, how was the day?"

"Don't even ask." He said and sat down next to her. She only looked at him, knowing he would start telling her anyway. He was like Seth, only a few years older.

"I told you, about the test for the scholarship?" No, not again this topic. What was it about this boy? She only nodded, trying to hide she was tired from listening to it.

"Ryan did a very good job, even Dr. Kim admitted." What meant: her son and this boy sticking together more than it was good for them – him.

"So, he'll enter Harbor?"

"No." Hu?

"Why not?"

"His background."

"I told you before." She said, rubbing her husband's back to comfort him. It was obvious he was sad and annoyed about this result.

"I just think it's not fair. The kid who got the scholarship had achieved a minor score than he had and his parents can easily accomplish the education at Harbor."

"And you think only because he can't pay for it he…"

"No, not because of that. But because he performed better." Okay, this really didn't sound like fair play. But what were they supposed to do about this.

"But we have to accept Dr. Kim's decision. She has her reasons."

"But these reasons are bullshit." Wow, her husband really was angry. She was glad that…nah not really glad, because she could imagine her son was more than sad about this. And if the boy really was such a smart boy, it must be a bad feeling to meet only walls - only because of his past. Poor boy. On the other hand, he was a smug rude boy. Who knew how he had acted around Dr. Kim.

"I don't feel good, with leaving it with that." Her husband said. Now it was about her. Should she endanger her son and other people's children by trying to help one of these street kids entering Harbor? Or should she just leave it with that and risk her husband's usual good mood at least for the rest of the week? And what about her son? Her thoughts got disturbed by the telephone ringing.

"I answer it!" Seth called. Since when was he home? She turned around and saw him. His shoulders down. She watched him talking to someone.

"Who was it?" She called, when she saw he was leaving the kitchen. He slowly came out to the patio.

"Just Marissa."

"Marissa? Like Jimmy's Marissa?" She asked. She never had called her son. Why did she now?

"Yep."

"What did she want?" Her husband asked now. Her heart clenched when she looked into this sad and despaired face belonging to her son.

"Just wanted to know if Ryan…passed the test." She? What made her being interested in this boy? Ah…yes, sure there was this rescue thing. Yes, she still felt bad about how she had reacted. Who had thought that such a boy carried some altruistic feelings on his heart?

"What did you tell her?" She asked.

"He did, but wasn't allowed to be part of the Newport Society, because he and his background don't belong here." He spoke these words with steely voice. Their conversation again got disturbed by something ringing. It was the doorbell. Seth went to open it and soon, she heard female voices screaming of frustration through her house.

"Seth, who is it?" Her husband called. But she decided it was time to go back into the kitchen. She needed to know what girl was visiting her son. Maybe his first girlfriend? His first big love? Oh, she was so excited. But why hadn't he told her something… Marissa?

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen." She greeted her. And there was another girl. A brunet one. Her son and two girls? First none and now two?

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen, I'm Summer." The girl introduced herself. "So, Cohen and now explain it again – slowly and from the beginning." She summoned her son. Her son sighed and rolled with his eyes.

"What shell he explain?" She asked.

"Why his friend…how was his name, this blondy from the pier."

"Ryan." Marissa added.

"Right. Why didn't he pass the test? I thought he was doing all your homework?" Now there were four - four people with some kind of mysterious interest in this street kid.

"Because…"

"Dr. Kim thinks that his background might be a problem. She's afraid this might influence you and your friends in a negative way. She's only concerned of the other student's wellbeing." Her husband now took the mediating position? He was like a chameleon. He was a lawyer, he had to be.

"How?" Summer asked.

"I dunno." Her son answered. He was depressed, she saw it the way he was behaving and talking.

"I mean, he isn't cool enough to make me copying his style or something. What does she think?"

"And all this only because he snitched something." Seth mumbled. What? Had she heard what she thought she had?

"He did what?" She asked…screamed.

"He had stolen several times. But nothing from huge value. Just small things." Her husband tried to rescue the situation.

"But he stole and you didn't tell me, before we let him in!" She had a right to know whom she offered a place to stay.

"Mum, he had his reasons." Her son answered. He had told Seth all these things? Did he want to affect her little baby with his behaviour? Yes he did. He was leading her son straight to jail.

"A serial killer has them too." She only answered.

"Mum! You can't compare this!" Her son screamed. Her husband looked at her quite angry and those two girls also didn't look happy about what she had said.

"I guess it's time to leave." The brunet girl, uh…Summer said and dragged Marissa out of the kitchen.

"Hey, Seth, do you wanna come?" She asked her son. If he dared to leave now than…he did.

"Where do you think you go?" She asked him.

"Out."

"What do you mean with out?"

"I guess Ryan could need some support after what had happened today." No, no, no!!! She had preyed for the boy not to make it into Harbor, because she had thought her son would start to realize the huge difference between him and…this boy. Why didn't he understand her? What did he like about this boy? There was nothing to like. He was rude, smug and a criminal. He was punching and stealing. And she was sure he was drinking and probably doing drugs. She knew it.

"But…" Her husband grabbed her arm.

"Let him go. You won't reach anything." He said in his calming voice. Damn it. She didn't want to be calm. She wanted to scream until her men had understood what this boy meant!

"How long do I have to talk, until you understand me?"


	19. Streets of Chino

**_Streets of Chino_**

**I**t was late at night, but he couldn't sleep. His wife was too upset to talk to him and was gone to bed at seven. He didn't dare to disturb her. She was hysteric and frustrated. And all at once united in his wife was the worse weapon on earth. He sat in front of the TV brooding over his behaviour. Was he really too stubborn to see what his wife tried to explain him? Was he really mistaken about the boy? Or was he just mistaken about his wife? He knew her and she was no bad person. She was no cold career woman. What made her hating this boy? She was a mother her own. How was she able to hate a kid?

Maybe he only was blind - blind to see what this kid really was. His job had made him sentimental. He wasn't able to see clear. Probably he was seeing problems where no problems were. He heard the door opened and shut. Then he heard steps coming towards the living room. He turned around to see who it was and met his son's sad and depressed face.

"You're already home?" He asked. He hoped his son's face wasn't linked to the conversation he has had previous with his Mum.

"Yeah." His son answered and flopped down onto the couch next to him.

"Did you have fun?"

"No."

"Did Marissa and…Summer go home as well?"

"Yes."

"Are you hungry?"

"No." Four monosyllabic answers in a row. This meant: it was bad.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Beating around the bush didn't help with Seth.

"Nothing." His son answered and got up. No, he won't go until he didn't know what had happened. His son's behaviour worried him. Of course Seth was sad once in a while - a little depressed. This was normal for a teenager. But coming home after being out with two beautiful girls – one of them Summer Roberts – could only be a sign for something bad. Thus he grabbed his son's arm to stop him from leaving.

"I don't think so. So, tell me. What did you guys do?"

"Sit around, talk." Where was Seth the chatter box?

"Son, don't even try to make me believe you're alright and everything's fine."

"It's… we just…tried to find a way to…" His son stopped. He looked as if he didn't dare to speak these words. He only looked at him and waited. This was Seth and he would come out with it.

"to help Ryan." These words were whispered and in his son's eyes he could see the fear. He was afraid of the punishment after something forbidden. His wife scared their son. His son was scared of thinking about how to help a friend.

"And what conclusion did you come to?" He encouraged his son. The fact that he wasn't one of these self-absorbed kids - only concerned about themselves and the latest fashion - was a proof for him that they hadn't done everything wrong. His son really wanted to help, although this boy was a complete stranger from another…world.

"Marissa will use her geek-status to talk to Dr. Kim about this. Maybe there is a little chance. But because we're in Newport there's none, because here all are living for prejudices and fashion and someone like Ryan is a threat, because he could take these things from them." He couldn't have said it any better. Unfortunately his wife pretended to be one of these Newpsies. But he will show her, she wasn't. She wasn't and never will and he still hadn't lost hope.

"And Summer?" He just asked. He knew his son had a crush on her since they moved here. Maybe this crisis was good for one thing: getting them together.

"She drank my coke and ate my chilli fries." He sounded…pissed.

"What' wrong? This is a good sign? Isn't it? I mean, when I was sixteen and a boy and a girl shared their coke and fries it meant something."

"Yes, but this is ages ago. Today they even share their meals with their doggies." Okay, there was nothing to cheer him up – not even on the girls front.

"Was Ryan there?" He asked innocent.

"Yes, but he…left quite early. Wanted to be back in Chino, before it was getting late."

"What does he want in Chino?"

"He lives there or something, I dunno. It's a really fucked up situation he's in. He has nothing: no place at any school, no job, no family or friends and not even a place to stay. And I'm doing nothing to help him out. Do you know how this sucks? It's just like: thanks for saving my life when I was bleeding to death, but now piss off and take care of your own business. No wonder that he's in such a bad mood." What? Still that bad? He had thought this Neil was able to find a place for the boy soon. But today was Tuesday. The boy already had lived on the streets for three days, if he hadn't had the luck to find a place he could stay at. But even if he had, this was no good condition. A kid this age needed a steady place to stay.

"He still has no where to go?" His son shook his head. "Did he say something about, where he stays?"

"Nothing concerning four walls and a roof, I guess. Great, I'm sitting here in such a fancy house, having everything. And my friend has to sleep in some crappy corner hoping nobody tries to mug him over night and all this only because my mother turned into one of these cold-hearted monsters. Why is she doing this? She never behaved like that. She used to be the emergency-woman from Newport: having a problem? Call Kirsten Cohen. I'm sure, he hates me."

"I can understand you, but this is not your fault. You did what was in your power and I'm sure he knows that. He isn't mad at you and he doesn't hate you. He's smart. He understands it."

"And that's what's wrong! Everybody is telling him what a bad person he is, while he's trying to please all." He and his son seemed to have more in common than he ever had thought. He never had noticed Seth being someone defending the others. Well, he never has had to. He never had friends. And now? He was losing one, because they weren't helping. But his hands were tied as long as he didn't want to separate from his wife. Man, this hurt.

"Dad, can't you try to find a place for him somewhere?" His heart clenched at this question.

"Seth, I did what was in my power. But if even his social worker can't find a place, how can I?"

"That's that then." His son said. These words made his warning bells shrill.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Uhm…I can't tell you. He's already in enough trouble." Good for Seth that he loved to let something slip his mouth.

"Seth, if it's serious you need to tell me." He insisted.

"Uh…he was pissed. Really pissed…not only because of the test, I think this was only the tip of the iceberg…I guess his whole situation…"

"Spit it out."

"He was angry and…he smelled as if he already had some drinks…you know. And he didn't seem to be ready with getting drunk and then all this limping and flinching. Marissa wanted to give him a hug and …he stepped back as if she was infectious." This sounded like serious trouble. If no one stopped the boy from his measures of self-destruction, he was on his best way back to juvies or even worse. But his son was right. There was nobody there. He had to make a decision. He sighed.

"Your Mum will kill me for this." He said and got up. He had to check on the boy. He needed to see that he was alright, that he at least had found some place to stay over night.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll drive to Chino, trying to find him and see whether he's alright or did you think I just stay here, sitting in my fancy house while he's probably in real danger?"

"Shell I come with you?" It wasn't a bad idea. Ryan seemed to trust Seth a bit – more than he trusted other people. Maybe it'll help… Considering what his son had said about the boy's state this was no good idea. His son never has had to cope with a drunken teenager, who was close to the edge. Added to that, it might influence their friendship in a negative way.

"Stay here. You have school tomorrow. And try not to say anything to your Mum."

He drove through Chino. What had he thought when he decided this? That he would find him? Chino was huge and ramified. Plus: every street looked the same. How was he able to find the boy in this area? He started to feel frustrated. It wasn't the smartest idea to stop the car and getting out of it. But he needed some fresh air. Where could he find him? What if he didn't? Would he survive this night – the next few days?

"Just piss off okay?!" He heard someone

"Why would I?"

"Because you're and asshole?" This rough language reminded him of his life in the Bronx and nobody had to explain him what was going to follow after a few more words.

"Is there someone asking for some pain?"

"Dunno, tell me?" Kid! Immediately he turned towards the direction the voices came from and ran. He saw how the blond boy caught the punch – motionless.

"That was all?" He only answered. Oh my God, what is he doing?

"Ryan!" He called out. The boy turned towards him and didn't pay attention to the other boys. Bad idea. Shit. The teen caught another punch into his stomach – this time heavy enough to make him collapse onto his knees. He speeded up to get to him. The boy managed to struggle himself back onto his feet and…he was angry. He wanted to punch back. He couldn't. This was only making things worse as they already were.

He reached him soon enough, to grab his shoulders, pulling him far away from the other boys. He held him tight – as tight as he was able to.

"Hey, old man. Is this your pussy?" One of the strangers asked.

"You better leave now, if you don't want any serious trouble." He had trouble keeping hold on the boy, who was fighting his grip violently and with a lot of force.

"Baby Atwood's saviour. Better watch whom you mess up with, if you don't wanna end up like Trey." The other stranger said and then they left. As soon as they were gone, Ryan struggled out of his grip.

"Thanks!" He said in a harsh and aggressive voice.

"I only wanted to help you."

"I didn't ask you to." The boy was on his way to leave. After these two punches he doubted a boy like Ryan could survive in the streets.

"Ryan, wait. I'm really here to help you."

"Who the fuck are you having a hand in my life?" He could say from the look – the boy was more than combative.

"I…" Who was he? He hadn't done anything than navigating the boy into more trouble. No wonder he didn't trust him. The first time he was helpless. The boy wouldn't trust him within a few seconds. This boy was the first one he couldn't gain trust from. He watched the boy sitting down on the kerb, lighting a cigarette. He really looked tired. There were too many holes in the system. That's why a boy without family and friends had to sleep on the streets, although he already was part of it.

He sat down next to the boy.

"What shell I do with you?" He asked sighing.

"Leave?!" He answered harsh.

"Ryan, I'm not going to hurt you, so you can stop this behaviour." He answered. Damn, he not even had a tissue to stop the bleeding on the boy's cheek. He saw how he stretched out his leg, as if it hurt – what would be an explanation for his limping.

"Does anything hurt? Your head, stomach or leg?" He asked. The boy only shook his head. If something hurt, he wouldn't tell him anyway.

"Okay, you don't seem to be cooperative tonight." He decided it was time to let him go. He couldn't do anything and boys like Ryan were used to being left alone. Probably he was better of on his own. He padded the boy's leg – the muscles tensed up, the boy gritted his teeth heavily and he a dark, heavy growl escaped his throat.

This was the moment in which he was aware of what he to do.


	20. Give us a Chance

**A/N.:** Thanks for all the nice reviews :) From now on I have to make a decision: how to end this story. Unfortunately I always have a lot of ideas for a story-end, thus I need your help. It's pretty easy: a) Tragic end b) Fight for happy end c) semi happy end d) not so happy end, but at least without any death. Choose and tell me ;)

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**_Give us a Chance_**

**H**er husband had called her in the middle of the night, telling her something about ER. Of course she had become hysteric and anxious. She didn't know then that it wasn't about her husband, but the boy. She still hadn't gotten any word from her husband telling her what this was supposed to mean. Instead of talking to her, he was talking over his cell phone to someone.

"What do you mean the request for accommodating him in a foster him isn't verified by now? There is a sixteen years old boy who has no place to stay and into the bargain is injured – what hadn't been noticed by anyone. No…no, now you're listening to me. Due to your mistake the boy might have died through the injuries. No…No…" She stopped listening to the conversation and sat down on a chair. What was she doing here? She wasn't the boy's mother and her husband was alright. Why did she stay? She did…because of her husband. She knew it'll hurt him if she left, thus she stayed although the boy didn't mean anything to her, despite memories. Memories of a past she wanted to forget. But every time she looked at him she got reminded of what had happened if…if she hadn't…if she and Jimmy hadn't broken up.

"Family of Ryan Atwood?" A doctor came out. Of course nobody got up. The boy had no family that was waiting for him. There was no one waiting for him, not to mention someone who was taking care of him.

"Is here someone who knows Ryan Atwood?" The doctor asked again. She looked at her husband, who was still talking to someone on the phone. She tried to make clear to him that his presence was needed, but he only gave her to understand he had no time.

"We…My husband brought him here." She said finally. This must be bad. Being in a hospital and nobody was waiting for you.

"At least someone. Where's your husband?" The doctor asked and she pointed towards him. He nodded and went to him. Okay this was…why was the doctor coming back to her?

"Your husband seems to be busy. So…may I ask you a favour?"

"Depends on what favour you're thinking about."

"We need someone who soothes the boy. He's giving us a pretty hard time." Soothing this boy? Was she his mother? No!

"Sorry, but I'm not even a far relative. It would be a little disrespectful if I disturbed his privacy."

"He's sixteen years old and he's freaking out, what brings me to the conclusion he's afraid. So you want to leave a frightened kid alone?" Did he have a mother? No. And yes she wanted to leave him alone. But was she capable of that?

"Sorry, I'm not his mother. You can't ask me to do this!" She would show him who she was and that she definitely wasn't someone the boy wanted to see…someone who wanted to soothe the boy.

"Are you a mother?" Did he have anyone? No.

"Yes, but in which way is this related to your so called favour?"

"Then you must have maternal feelings. Women who have children - no matter what age - have maternal feelings, even for the children of others. So don't tell me you don't feel sorry for him." She did.

"I can't do this."

"C'mon you only need to pretend that you care." Well, she was able to pretend liking her Dad's firm, Newport including Newpsies and this whole superficial lifestyle. So pretending this had to be easy.

"Well, Ryan let's try again." The doctor said when they entered the room. The boy lay on a gurney. He was pale and looked battered …like he needed some help…comfort. Immediately her maternal feelings overwhelmed her. She wasn't able to leave him like that.

"Mrs…" The doctor asked questioning at her.

"Cohen." She added.

"Right…she'll try to make you feel a little more comfortable."

"How? By blaming me for something I haven't done." Bang! This brought her back to where she emotionally came from: indifference. This boy didn't need her. What he needed was someone…

"Shit…sorry. Didn't mean to. …Thanks…but…I can handle this on my own." A shy voice added fast. She looked at him. Had he apologized? Wow, this was a progress. She looked at him. He didn't look at her, but stared at something somewhere in the room, again avoiding eye contact. He had said thank you? And all this without any reply from her side.

"If this was the truth, we would be already finished." The doctor answered.

"We could be finished if you did listen to me." The boy answered back. He was more than angry. She could hear it out of his voice.

"Ryan, how often do I need to explain to you that we can't clean the wound on your leg without general anaesthetic?" Oh! The boy was afraid! Good to know. This made him seem a little less detached. But how was she able to help? The boy didn't want her help and she wasn't sure whether she was the right person for this.

"Okay, we'll just try again." The doctor said and went to the boy – syringe in his hand. In a sudden the boy sat upright. His facial expression told her that this was going way too far for his taste. Pure panic was written all over his face – what was left of it as more of the half was one single bruise.

"Ryan…the doctor only wants to help you." She tried to help, but wasn't able to make her voice sound less determining. She carefully touched the boy's shoulders, but he flinched violently. Like a wounded animal – only worse.

"Oh no." The boy only said.

"Ryan, where's the problem you won't feel anything." The doctor assured him.

"That's true, not even if you make a mistake." The doctor slowly got closer and… this was some kind of bad movie was it? The boy had grabbed the doctor's arm.

"Ryan…please let my do my job!" The doctor now said harsh. She looked at the boy and knew they weren't going anywhere when they didn't find another solution for this.

"May I have a second with you?" She asked the doctor. Reluctantly he gave her wish way and they left the room.

"I…know you need to do this…but…he must be really afraid if he's reacting like that." At least this was her assumption.

"And what shell I do to calm him down?"

"I…I dunno…it's…his mother died and…as far as I'm in the know…she didn't make it through a routine surgery…didn't wake up afterwards." If she was allowed to tell him this? She wasn't sure. But she needed to help the boy.

"And how long ago?"

"Only a few days."

"Well, this explains a lot." The doctor sighed.

"Can't you try…a local anaesthetic?" She asked, not being sure if this solution was what the boy wanted.

"It's possible, but this won't be a nice experience for the boy. This is why we decided for a general one."

"Yes, but you have to understand that he's afraid…he's sixteen – a kid. Don't you have any feelings for that?" She now answered the stubborn person, calling himself owner of a medical degree. The man sighed. Then they went back. The boy still looked as if he was close to freak out completely and this was an experience she didn't really want to make.

"Okay Ryan, what about this: we'll try a local anaesthetic which only numbs your legs, so you won't have any feelings in there, but makes you able to stay awake due the whole procedure. What do you think?" She watched the boy. He nodded, slowly but distrustful. He was trembling. She wanted to rub his upper arms. She used to do it with Seth's, when he was freezing. But the boy's body even tensed up only more and she stepped back. A kid that was too afraid of being touched.

"That's a start." The doctor said. Well, now she had done her job and could go, right? But what was she still doing here? She wanted to leave, but then she watched how the doctor started a new attempted to inject something into the boy's IV.

"What's that?" She asked. She hated it, if someone didn't stick to agreements.

"Just some sedative. I don't want him to freak out due inducing the anaesthetic or the surgery." She only nodded. The boy didn't start to fight this. Well this was a step forward. Then she saw it…the monster-syringe. Now she understood the doctor's reasons. She wanted to leave, but couldn't. She took the boy's hand instead. Not really thinking about it. It was some kind of maternal reflex.

"Now turn on your stomach please." The doctor said and the boy did. There was no reaction by the boy when they started to stick this huge needle into the flesh of the back – as if he didn't feel anything. She didn't leave his side, no matter how sick she felt by this scene.

Due the whole procedure she only felt sorry and sad for the boy. This was nothing one whished another person. She couldn't help but took the boy's hand and rubbed its back gently, stroking strand of hair out of his face. She doubted he was aware of this. Otherwise he probably would have fought this. He was quite dazed due the sedative – hardly able to keep his eyes open. Again she was haunted by her memories, but this time they had another effect. Not this disgusting one, but a warm one - as if she could make it right again. She looked at him. He was so young and lost. She felt her heart clench a little bit. He tried so hard to fight the effect of the sedative.

"You can take a nap, if you want to. I take care of this." She soothed him. He deserved some rest. He has had a bad day.

"don't need…to…take care of …myself." He mumbled. She had no doubts about that.

"But you don't have to." She wanted him to sleep, he was tired and hurt.

"nobody…else will." She looked at a nurse, who looked back at the doctor. It was as if she felt what they were thinking: ordeal.

It took a while for the doctor to clean the wound. Something had been sticking in his leg, glass or something. The boy hadn't closed his eyes for one single second. She hadn't taken her hand away from his.

"Okay, we're done. Now we'll wait until the anaesthetic eases off and then you can go. I give you some antibiotocs. You have to take three pills a day with a plenty of water. Try to avoid any products containing milk. And here you have some pain-killers. You should visit an orthopaedist within the next few days, because of your knee." What? The boy wasn't among the living right now. He was drugged to the eyeballs with sedatives and painkillers. It seemed as if the nurse refreshed his dose every five minutes. And now he was supposed to recover on his own? Didn't the doctor even notice that the boy was feverish? The doctor left. This wasn't right. The boy was too weak to remain on his own within the next days. And yes, she dounted that the boy knew how to spell the word orthopaedist - not to mention knowing one.

"I'll be right back." She told the boy and stroked over his cheek. His head was hot – bad fever. No, she wasn't going to let the boy go back onto the streets in his state.

"Wait, you can't let him go in this state." She announced the doctor.

"I can."

"But…he can't…he has no place to go. I doubt this will do his recovery any good. Besides he still has a fever. This is irresponsible."

"Sorry Miss, but this is our policy. I can't change it."

She sighed. Eventually her husband was finished with his phone calls.

"Did you reach something?" She asked.

"No, unfortunately not. I can't understand why they still have no place for him. It's irresponsible."

"Then…this…" She couldn't bring him back. He still was a criminal with a sharp tongue. But he was helpless…he was a kid…he had nobody and he was hurt and sick. She went back to the room and found the boy on his feet already dressed. She doubted the boy would survive another night on the streets – not in this state. She watched him and noticed he was shivering badly. When he saw her, he ducked his head.

"Thanks ... for everything." He mumbled and then passes by. He went off. And where to? She remained in the door step. Her emotions again were fighting each other. She watched down the hallway. The boy nearly had reached the exit. There was nothing to discuss about.

"Give me your jacket." She told her husband. She met a confused glance when he took it off and handed it her. She followed the boy. Due his leg injury he couldn't walk fast, thus she soon caught up on him.

"Ryan, wait." She said, hiding her insecurity. No, she wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing. But she couldn't let him go – not like that. He didn't stop. She followed him and gently put one hand onto his shoulder to make him aware there was someone. He flinched, but stopped.

"C'mon, you shouldn't sleep outside tonight." She said. She tried to wrap him into her husband's jacket, but he steps back – distrustful.

"Ryan, I'm not hurting you. But you don't feel too well. You need a place to stay, where you can recover."

"Sorry, but you know that won't work."

"You don't know that. Maybe we only need to get to know each other a little more. Give us a chance."


	21. Convinced or not Convinced

**A/N.:** May I ask, why you like happy ends more then a tragic one?

* * *

_**Convinced or not convinced**_

**H**e watched his wife. The whole ride home she had sat in the backseats next to the boy, trying to make him freeze a little less, soothing him – by wrapping the boy into his jacket, rubbing his upper arms, taking him slightly into her arms. This was the proof. She was still there, only was hiding from them – the Newport society. The boy himself was hardly aware of what went on. The medication dazed him awfully. She stepped out of the pool house.

"How is he?"

"Not good I guess, but he's sleeping. I can't imagine he understood what the doctor told him about the antibiotics and the other medication."

"But you were there." He told her and took her into an embrace. He was proud of her. Proud that she managed to leave her shell.

"Sandy, we need to find his brother. He…he needs someone who cares for him."

"I already called someone who takes care of it." He answered.

"That's good, because this shows us too wee he's not able to take care of himself." His wife answered. "As if a sixteen years old would be able to." She mumbled. He knew her well enough to figure this sentence wasn't meant for his ears.

The next morning his wife entered the kitchen in jeans and T-Shirt? No office-look? What was wrong?

"He, honey, no work today?" He asked, before he gave her the ritual morning kiss.

"Do you think I leave a criminal alone in my house? Who knows what he's up to?" He sighed. She still hadn't changed her mind about him.

"Kirsten, he's no criminal…just a teenager growing up under the wrong influence." He answered carefully not willing to start a new argument about this topic.

"That's the same. Besides, I'd like you to stay home either." Hu?

"What? Why? I can't. I have some appointments today."

"Do you think I'll stay alone in my house with someone like him? He easily can overwhelm me. I don't trust him and I don't want you to do so."

"Kirsten I don't think that he's capable of anything you're thinking about in his current state."

"I'm sorry to say, but then he has to leave." She was playing a cruel game. But he couldn't allow her to throw out the boy a second time and especially not now were he was sick.

"You're cruel, do you know that?"

"No, I'm only careful."

He had made some phone calls, trying to explain why he wasn't able to show up in the office today. Now his paperwork was spread around the dinner table. Seth had been suspicious about them staying home for today - of course. Usually they didn't even manage to stay at home on weekends – not even Sundays. And now it was the middle of the week. His wife had explained him the situation that Ryan was with them in the moment. His son was surprised - in a very positive way. At least his son got to know his Mum wasn't as cold-hearted as she pretended to be. He for his part was still curious to know what his wife's motives were. He doubted it was only related to her job. There was something more. The way, she looked at the boy…didn't match to the way she was talking to him and about him. And if she really has had such a strong opinion against him, she never had allowed him to stay. There was something about the boy she didn't tell him. She hid it from him. He had to find out what it was. He hated secrets their relationship. Secrets meant tension and tension meant arguments. And yes, he has had enough of them lately. So, his new job was: finding out what was bothering his wife so bad making her turning into an ice-queen.

"Sandy, can you come for a minute?" His wife asked him.

"Just a sec." He answered and finished the sentence he was writing before his thoughts had been disturbing him.

"I need to check on the boy. He needs his medicine…and I want you to…just to watch. Just in case…"

"I can check on him, if this makes you feel better." He offered her. She had gone so far last day, he didn't want to overstrain her.

"You're a man and not even able to handle Seth, when he's sick. So…just watch." She was scratching her neck nervously. She was frightened…of a kid. He wasn't. He knew how to deal with them. He knew what lay behind this rough behaviour. He had witnessed it all on his own when he had been young. His wife didn't. She grew up in a world like this. So he didn't blame her. At least she was willing to learn and this was more than he could expect from every other snobbish Newport witch. He followed her and waited outside when she entered the pool house. The boy lay in this huge bed, curled up to a small ball.

"Hey, Ryan." His wife said silently. She sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully stroking the boy's cheek. Mistake. He shot his eyes open and sat upright in a second. His glance told him he was terrified.

"Ryan?" His wife was surprised by the boy's reaction.

"What?…hu…Where…" The boy was confused.

"Calm down. You're here with us." His wife started to explain. He could tell that she had no clue how to react. But he only saw it, because he knew her well.

"Yes…shit…I mean…thanks and sorry…I'm gone in a minute…" The boy started to get out of bed.

"Ryan, wait…you don't have to…"

"No…I'm…I'm fine." Inwardly he had to laugh about the situation, although it was more a sad than a funny one. Both, his wife and the boy, felt uncomfortable. Neither his wife nor the boy knew how to act around each other.

"Ryan, you're far away from fine."

"Thanks…but I'm okay."

"Ryan! You have a fever and a bad leg injury. So, you go back to bed!" His wife now started to command. The way she used to react when she was stressed. He watched the boy, his body tensed up and his body language turned from young and confused into…aggressive and defensive at once.

"Ryan, don't worry. We only want to help you. You're really sick and you shouldn't leave the bed at least until your fever went down a bit more." He started an attempt to make him getting back to bed.

"But she doesn't want me here." His heart dropped. Truth: his wife hadn't done a good job to make the boy trust her. Plus: the boy was smart. He figured it out when he…wasn't accepted full hundred percent.

"Ryan, if I didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here. So you go back to bed now, because I don't want this getting any worse as it already is." Well, not the nicest way to tell someone he was welcome at some place, but better than telling someone he wasn't.

It had taken a while until then boy had realized that he didn't feel well and went back to bed. Considering the fact that his wife didn't want him here, she did quite a good job. She even tried to make him eat something. She not only pretended to be concerned. She was. She told him to find his brother. She watched him taking his medicine and called a doctor when she realized the fever had gotten up again. Thanks God it wasn't related to the wound on his leg, which had been pretty bad inflamed. It was more related to the fact that he had spend last Saturday in heavy rain.

"Dad, can I talk to you?" His son stormed into the living room. He was agitated. What meant: something was burning.

"Of course. What's the matter?"

"It's…it's about Ryan and the scholarship. Marissa managed to convince Dr. Kim that her decision might not have been the…fairest one. And…she suggested discussing this with the Parent Teacher Association, what will be this evening. And…I mean…it would make a good impression if at least one parent would speak pro Ryan. And because you're the lawyer in this family I wanted to ask, whether you could do this job?" He was impressed by his son's engagement.

"This is important to you, isn't it?" His son nodded. "Well, then I'll try. But I can't promise anything."

"I know, but that's really cool. Thanks Dad." His son answered, hugged him. Wow, he was the cool Dad again, who was worth to be hugged. There were changes among this family.

"Is it okay, if I go and tell Ryan?"

"Yes, but…he's still tiered. So don't strain him."

Now they sat at school, all parents were there and he could listen to some whispered conversations and the mood was everything else than pro Ryan. He understood their concerns, but what he didn't understand was that they were reluctantly to give someone a chance, who really could proof them something better than all these prejudices. His wife was nervous. Not only because she had to leave the boy alone at home. She had told him she wasn't sure about this. She stood in the middle of two fronts. He only hoped she started to decide for the right one – the one she had stood for years ago. Dr. Kim stepped up the podium, ready to start this meeting.

"Good evening to all of you. As you all know we're here to discus whether to allowed Ryan Atwood attending at Harbor. I ask you to give a sign before speaking, thus we can keep this discussion calm and structured. I hope we can find a fair solution." When she was finished the first hands were raised and Dr. Kim nodded into the direction of who was the one to speak.

"I don't think it's a good idea to let a criminal enter this school. Who knows whether he hasn't manipulated the test results?"

"I can assure you, this couldn't have happened." Dr. Kim answered. He was stunned how this woman always was able to take a neutral opinion of things like that.

"We all know we're talking about a criminal who easily can endanger our children's lives."

"We don't know that!" A girl, probably Summer – who stood peculiar close to his son – said.

"That's true, but I don't want to take this risk."

"And what if he starts to influence our kids? He easily can manipulate them and then we're left with the mess." Cooper. Julie Cooper. He didn't like her. She was the prototype of Newpsie.

"I doubt that this will happen. Of course he had done some wrong things. But he never had learned something different. As Freud said the ego of a person - telling us how to interact in a society - is formed due an environmental conditioning. Fact is the area he comes from and his family never provided him with a conditioning telling: crimes are wrong. Thus it's more than positive that his crimes are nothing more than misdemeanours as well as his attempt to fit into a society he has no clue how life works in there." Marissa intervened. Wow, she was smart. How was Julie Cooper able to raise such a smart daughter?

"And how does he proof it? By stealing cars outside from Newport?"

"No, but by helping when help is needed. Let us be honest: who of you would step in, if you see a girl being in danger of being raped? Who of you would offer his blood to someone you don't even know? Ryan does. And I think this shows us how hard he tries to step out of the society he comes from. He hasn't identified with it yet, thus he still has a chance to change and make things better. We only have to give him this chance. Otherwise we force him to flee into the environment he comes from and then he'll become a real threat for our society. Only if we push him away he can be a real danger for us." Marissa went on. She was calm, while she was speaking so many words in a row. She really wanted Ryan to be part of Newport, like his son did. The boy had the gift to impress others.

"He's already sixteen. I don't think we can change him anymore. He's a criminal and he will be for the rest of his life. Every attempt to raise a child over fourteen doesn't work. He's no different."

"Stop! Does anyone in this room notice where we're living?" Summer now stepped in.

"Right, in the United States of America. And does anyone know what's written on our flag? The American Dream. And does anyone of you know what this means? This means giving those, who got bad cards, a chance to change their lives. We're talking about a boy, who really has bad cards, but tries not to let this determine his life. Plus he seems to be pretty smart. So he has the skills to change his life and make things better. Our governmental policy doesn't allow us, to reject him." Two smart girls. The girl took his son's hand? Had he missed an important thing?

"Mrs. Cohen, what do you think about this? You know the boy, thus I'd like to know what you're opinion is." Dr. Kim asked.

"Well…I…" Please, he preyed. "I know him and…I know he has some problems to adapt to this environment and …has some rude sides. But all in all…he's a…polite and shy boy…who…although coming from a poor, criminal and violent area, tries not to annoy anyone." Not hundred percent convinced, but nevertheless more positive than he had expected.


	22. Blueprint

**_Blueprint_**

**S**he was tired when they came home. Seth didn't come with them - something about the girls. When they pulled up the driveway, there was someone waiting. She didn't know him. Oh God. The boy was alone at their home. She had known he was a delinquent and not as nice as he pretended to be. But why didn't he run? He saw them coming. What did he plan, when he stayed as if nothing was wrong? Did he…plan to erase his tracks…by…

"Stay in the car. I go and see who he is." Her husband said. She was glad having him with her right now. He got up and went towards the man – a thin one, dark blond or light brown hair. She never had seen him before, but she had the feeling as if she had seen him already once. Hu? She watched her husband talking to him. He glanced at her, telling the area was safe and she could get out of the car.

"Good evening." She said when she reached the man. She didn't like the expression in his face – it was twisty.

"Hello." The man said.

"Kirsten, this is Trey Atwood, Ryan's brother." What? Did this mean the boy could leave them without making her husband worrying about his stay? This was great.

"Yes, sorry that I show up that late. But someone told me my brother's with you and you were looking for me. So here I am. I hope it's nothing serious." Oh oh. This was more than serious.

"Why don't we get in, before we start to talk about the situation?" Her husband said and went in.

Now they sat in the living room. Her husband had told Trey about their mother's death and that Ryan – since then – had no place to stay. She tried to read the man's face, but she was unable to. His face was hiding everything. Not like his brother's one, which offered every emotion, everything what was up his mind. Okay, not his face, but his eyes did.

"So…wow. That's hard. If I had known…I…of course I had taken Ryan with me. And…well, is here a church in the around? I guess I need to talk to a priest and…arrange a funeral."

"Of course I can give you an address for that. Do you need any help with the arrangements?" Her husband asked. Of course he did. Looking at the man, he didn't seem to be much older than Ryan. And leaving two kids alone with a funeral – their mother's funeral – wasn't polite.

"Uh…no…thanks. But we can handle that. It's not the first funeral that needs to be arranged." Okay, deep breaths. How could she have known that the boy already has had to deal with some death? They remained silent for a few minutes.

"There's still something we need to talk about." Her husband started.

"I guess this can wait, until you're settled." She said, hoping the brother might take Ryan with him somewhere else. But she had to be honest to herself. He hadn't been here for a while. Why should he now stay here only because of his brother? He had left his brother three years ago, not caring about him. Why should he care about his brother's wellbeing now? Was she angry? She was. Why? Because she wasn't able to understand how a big brother was able to leave his little one alone with an alcoholic mother. This was irresponsible.

"Okay…can…can I go to him?"

"He's probably sleeping. He has a bad fever and his leg is pretty bad injured. I think it's better if we give him some rest."

"Wait, wait, wait! Ryan's sick? Why haven't you told me before? I want to see him…now!" Hell, she had underestimated their relationship. She looked at her husband who got up and led the man to the pool house. She followed them. When the door was opened Ryan's brother stormed to the pale form lying in bed.

"Hey, bro." The man said. Man, couldn't he let his brother sleep? He was still sick and tired. He needed his rest. The sheets rustled. Ryan started to move. How was such a quiet noise able to wake a teenager? Her son wouldn't even wake up, if a bomb exploded next to him.

"Trey? What you're doing here?"

"Looking after my baby bro. You look like crap."

"Taken a look into the mirror lately?" She wasn't sure what to think about this. If her sister started to talk to her like that, she was sure she would kick her butt. But these boys came from another world.

"Who did this to you? Mum's newest boyfriend of the month? A.J.?"

"First of all, when you pissed off she had changed from a monthly to a weekly frequency. Second of all you didn't leave too many friends in Chino." She didn't like what she was listening to. But she also was reluctant to leave the brothers alone. Their mother must have been a…whore of woman, if her boyfriends changed monthly or even weekly. And she…she was no mother was she? Because what she had heard sounded as if her boyfriends had hurt her children. This was out of every maternal instinct. When she looked at Ryan she didn't understand how one was able to hurt a boy like that. He looked like a lost puppy you wanted to take home with……No, she wasn't a mother herself. She had been bale to take the life away from a kid that might have looked like that. She wasn't allowed to judge the situation.

"Don't worry I'll take care of them."

"Trey, just try not to get into trouble okay?" The little brother asked his big brother not to get into trouble? He was the adult among them? This was not fair. She only hoped they hadn't made a mistake by finding the brother.

"Okay, I think we'll let you sleep now." Her husband said and headed back into the house.

"Uhm…is…is it okay with you if Ryan stays here…until I have found a place for us to stay?" She looked at her husband. Of course she was glad if he left as early as possible. But she could let him hardly go, if they had no place to stay.

"Yes. Okay. Uhm…can you come by tomorrow? We need to talk to you and Ryan anyway."

"Had…had he broken something or did he make some trouble?" A panic glance was shot at her.

"No, nothing like that. It's just something we need to discuss with you and Ryan."

"Oh okay. I started to worry. Because Ryan usually doesn't belong to those who get into trouble, unless there are tow many things bothering him at once…what's really rare…but it can happen."

"How do you mean this?" Was the boy a potential danger? Was she right?

"If there are too many things at once coming down on him: Mum's alcoholism, A.J.'s or the other guys', trouble at school and things like that. Then he just gets an outburst. And now after Mum died and this whole situation with the social services and so on, I just thought he might have gotten one of these outbursts again. But as I see he can bear more than he used to a few years ago." She didn't want to know that. Not only because it meant that her husband had been right, but because it hurt her. The memories came back and the thought she had hurt a kid like Ryan herself – even in a worse way.

The next morning she got up. She was hungry. She usually never was hungry in the morning, but this time it was different. She was sure it was because of last night's event. She went downstairs. She was so hungry, already able to smell the coffee. It felt as if she was hearing movements in the kitchen and it smelled so good - not only coffee but even bacon.

"Ryan!?" She called out when she saw what was making her hungry. The boy was preparing breakfast. For them?

"Oh…sorry, didn't want to wake you." He said fast and ducked his head.

"Don't worry you didn't. Did you make all this?" She asked a little surprised. Her son never would come to the idea of making breakfast for them.

"Yeah…my Mum is…was never a good cook…so things were left with me." His Mum wasn't the only one who wasn't able to cook. She only nodded. His eyes were still feverish.

"Well, I leave you…guess Trey will be here soon." Then the boy left her standing there still not knowing what was going on. She saw the boy hesitating.

"Uh…thanks…for everything." He said. She never had expected something like that. She had to sit down. He stormed out the kitchen. Something fell out of the pocket of his trousers. She picked it up.

"Hey, wait! You lost something." She called after him. It was a sheet of paper. She flipped it around and…no…or? It looked familiar to her – too familiar. She unfolded it. It was…a hand made copy of a blue print.

"Oh…sorry, thanks." The boy said and she handed him the paper back.

"What is this?" She asked him. Now she caught a huge interest in the boy.

"Just nothing." He answered shyly.

"Did you draw this?" He only nodded. She took the sheet back out of his hand. She had seen the original blueprint – she had drawn it.

"This is the new shopping centre." She said. Wait, wait, wait. Hadn't the boy been a construction worker? She looked at it, more carefully. Something about it was different. What…wait…this joist wasn't destined in her blue print…but it should have. This joist balanced the weight of the walls surrounding it. That's it. That's the solution she was looking for. This joist would prevent the building to collapse in the event if an earthquake.

"Can…can I keep it?" The boy only shrugged his shoulders. "Ryan, this is very good. Do you see this? I didn't plan this joist in the original blueprint. But this is the solution for the problem with the weight." She explained him. "Thanks." She patted his shoulder. He flinched again.

"Oh…no problem." He looked confused. Did she need to feel bad, because she let a kid do her work? She needed to do something about him. He was a real smart kid. He was sixteen…and … hey, he was sharing her interests? He was from Chino. This wasn't possible. She was more than surprised by that. If he worked hard enough he could be a real good – an excellent architect. He needed to be supported. He needed a chance. She felt relieved, as if her engagement and her decision weren't as wrong, as she had thought it was. She went back into the kitchen.

"Morning honey…wow, you must have been up early for all this." Her husband said and then kissed her.

"This was our visitor."

"Really? Where is he?" He had thus huge grin on his face, telling her he has had the right instinct concerning the boy.

"In the pool house."

"What's that?" She wave with the sheet of paper in front of his eyes.

"A copy of my blue print with the solution for the shopping centre I'm looking for since months."

"Oh…congratulations for your…"

"It wasn't me. It's his idea. He had drawn this."

"You're kidding. He's sixteen."

"That's what I thought either."

"A smart kid, hu?" Yes, now her husband had demonstrated: she had been wrong, he had been right. And he would rub it in for years.

"And what is that?" He asked waving an envelope in front of her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders and he opened it and gave it to her. There were several dollars in it, with a note:

_Sorry, don't have more. I'll pay back the rest, when I've found a new job._

_Thanks for your help_

"I guess someone feels quite uncomfortable." She said. This was a lot more she had expected.

"Hey, did I miss something?" her son came in. "Since when do you cook?" He asked his mother.

"This was your friend." Again she felt the warm feeling inside. It was a satisfying feeling. What she had done doesn't feel that bad anymore – as if she was able to make it okay again.

"Ryan? Is he awake? I mean, can I tell him?"

"Not yet Seth, we need to discuss this with his brother first, as he is Ryan's legal guardian now."

"Okay, but when he was able to prepare all this, it means I can go and talk to him? I need to tell him about Summer. Really important." And with these words her son was gone.

"Pretty good friends, what?" Her husband asked. She only nodded. "I guess there could be worse friends than Ryan. And did you notice the changes in Seth? I mean he hangs out with girls, doesn't argue about school and Newport anymore and - despite some little mistakes - Seth really can learn from him." Her husband pointed at the breakfast. She sighed. This boy managed to…she had no idea. But something made her losing her prejudices and concerns. The ringing doorbell dragged her out of her thoughts. It was Trey.

"Good morning, I hope I didn't wake you." He said.

"No, it's okay."

"I just … you said that we need to discuss something about Ryan and…this freaks me a little."

"Why don't you sit down? I go and get Ryan." Her husband said. It didn't take long as the blond teenager came in. His brother immediately got up.

"Hey bro." They hugged each other. It was visible they had missed each other over the years of separation.

"I missed you."

"Sure that made you taking three years to come back." The boy was hurt. Of course.

"You know I couldn't have stayed any longer."

"Why don't we start to talk about…"

"Hello? Anyone there?" She heard a female voice. It was Marissa.

"Oh, hi, good morning. I wanted to pick up Seth for school." She watched Marissa shooting some glances at Ryan. She knew these glances too well. Ryan was a good shaped boy, looking protective. What else did a girl in this age want?

"Hey, Marissa!" Her son came in. "Does Ryan know?" He asked.

"No. We hadn't had a quiet minute yet." Her husband said. She saw how a grin was formed on Marissa's face and how Ryan started to look confused.

"Good luck." Marissa whispered in Ryan's ear, but loud enough for her to know. Yes, this was more than obvious. Dealing with Julie Cooper was going to be a lot of fun. She watched the boy…blushing. Still nothing more than a teenager and she needed to laugh inwardly.

When her son and Marissa were gone, they all sat down at the dinner table.

"Well, we have some good news for you Ryan. Dr. Kim decided to award the scholarship to you." Her husband opened the conversation. She watched the boy's face drop. The expression - a mix of confusion and in somehow fear?

"What…how? I thought …she didn't want me there?"

"You had some very convincing interceders." She answered, trying to make him feel a little more comfortable. She didn't want him to feel unwanted.

"Oh…okay…but…this can…I mean how shell this work?"

"Monday is your first day at school. You go there, have quick talk to Dr. Kim about your schedule and then you enter the classes. Not too different from a public school." Her husband started to explain.

"Stop! May I ask, what's going on here?" Ryan's brother asked.

"Ryan had applied for a scholarship at Harbor High and he got it." She said.

"Harbor High? Private school?"

"A very good one. When he graduates from there, all doors are open for him." She went on. She didn't like the face of this man. It looked dangerous and dark. It carried all prejudices she has about Ryan.

"But.…this is not possible. I can't always ride from Chino to Newport Beach five times a week." The boy said now. Didn't he want to take this chance? She wasn't sure. It felt as if he felt intimidated, but through what?

"And it can take a while until I've found a place to stay out here. They're really rare." His brother stepped in. Her husband sighed and pressed the bridge of his nose. All efforts for nothing? This time not only her son and husband would be disappointed, even Marissa Cooper and Summer Roberts. She thought back to what Marissa had said and she had to agree to her. Although Ryan was surrounded and influenced by crime, he still tried not to let it affect him too much. He was honest - giving his whole money to them, promising to pay it all back and there was no reason to doubt that. He tried so hard to fit in. He needed this chance. He really had the skills to go somewhere. There was a cordial soul living under the rough shell. She had met it several times. She looked at her husband. They would have the weekends together alone. Due the week they all were too busy anyway, so why not?

"He can stay here over the week." She said, still a little concerned. The boy still was stranger she didn't know and he made her remember. But maybe he helped her to overcome this depression.

"Sorry…but…I…I can't ask you to do this."

"Why not?"

"This…I can't…you're not comfortable with me around…and you have all reason to." He answered. I didn't get what you're talking about, she thought.

"Ryan, man. This is a great opportunity. You work hard and then go far…further anyone of us ever had been." His brother now started to encourage him.  
"No, I can't. I need to work and…after all I hear from Seth this I…will never be able to fit in and…achieve anything there."

"Ryan…" His brother tried a new attempt, but Ryan left – wordless.

"Uh…sorry. Excuse me for a second." The man said and then quickly followed his brother.

"Hey baby bro. What's wrong?" She watched the two brothers. The boy had wrapped his arms around himself. The man took his upper arms and pulled him closer to him.

"Ryan, talk to me. This…this is a real big chance – your chance. You can get far from here. You're the first one who gets the chance to escape."

"But I can't…I…just can't. Okay?"

"No, it's not okay."

"Since when do you care anyway?"

"Right. I left you, alone. Three years, with all this shit, with Mum, A.J. and all the others. And I know this had been hard. It was hard together. It only can be worse going through all this alone. But now I'm here and I want to help you. So, take this chance. Would you mind looking at me, when I'm talking to you?" At Least she wasn't the only one the boy didn't look at.

"Ryan we both together, we can make it. Okay? I'm there now." She watched how the man took the boy into his arms.

"I'm there now." He repeated, stroking through his brother's hair. There was a deep and close relationship between them.


	23. No matter what the cost

**A/.:** This chapter is meant for all those, who liked the idea of big-brother-Trey ;) Thanks for all the nice reviews :)

**_No matter at what cost_**

**I**t was a one-room-apartment. But they didn't bother. They had shared a room through all the years. It rather felt strange when they were sleeping alone – separated from each other. He watched his brother sleeping on a small and thin mattress. He felt bad that he couldn't offer him more. But he also knew, his brother would never complain about it. He never complained about anything. In a sudden is brother started tossing and turning on his mattress. He started to mumble: "No…leave…fuck the hell off." Shit. When his baby bro started swearing in his sleep, it only could be one of these awful nightmares. He went to him and shook him gently. His body was hot.

"Hey Ry, bro. Wake up." He had to wake him up. He was burning up with fever. His brother opened his eyes, they were dull. Shit. His brother never used to be sick. Why now?

"C'mon, get up. We need to get your temperature down." He tried to pull his brother up to his feet. Didn't this woman…Mrs. whatever say something about fever? Shit. Why had he forgotten about it?

"Don't wanna get up." He only mumbled. He fought his brother's grip. He had forgotten that his little brother didn't like to be touched – at least not in such a harsh way. It seemed as if it had gotten worse, because he fought him with whole force. Or maybe he was in some kind of delirium, because of his fever.

"Ryan, please…we need to get your temperature down. Just let us take a cold shower. Okay?"

"'m already freezing."

"I know. This will make you feel better." He managed to get his little brother up on his feet.

"Okay, here we go." He loosened the grip a little, but soon needed to tighten it again when his brother was about to fall.

"Hey, legs a little shaky, what?" He needed to make his brother comfortable in his presence again. He damned the last three years. Three years and a huge gap. This wasn't supposed to end like this. Why had he left his little brother alone? He had known that he was too kind-hearted to defend himself against his mother and her boyfriends. He was no cruel fighter. And this was what he loved about him. No matter how often he had been pissed, because is little bro had decided not to help him and Arturo with one of their jobs. Afterwards he always had been relieved and in somehow proud that his brother had been able to use his head. And honestly: he always had helped him to avoid huge trouble. His brother was the brain and he the muscles and they always had each others back and this wasn't about to change.

"Okay, now let's take you cloths of." Shit! Is alarm bells shrilled. His brother immediately became combative. Fuck! Why hadn't he thought about it? He was supposed to know it and…avoid everything that reminded his little brother of…. He sighed.

"No…just your shirt and sweatpants, okay? Leave your boxers where they are." He hated his mother for that. She had sold her youngest child. And for what? Alcohol and drugs. And he? He had gone to get the stuff. They had been through hell and back. Why had he left? Why hadn't he taken him with him? He had been in panic. There had been too many people in Chino he owed too much money or…what else he was supposed to deliver. He looked at his brother's leg. It looked disgusting. He swore himself, he'll kill these people. He already imagined who had been capable to inflict this to his brother. Why in hell always his little brother? When he had messed up with the gangs from Chino, it had always been his brother paying the bills. Why? Because his brother was his sore point. They could beat the crap out of him and he wouldn't regret his decision. But when they had his brother…they got what they wanted. Should he have allowed them to hurt his baby bro only because he hadn't stuck to the deal?

"That looks pretty nasty. Does it hurt?" His brother shook his head. Of course he wouldn't tell him. If he did, it was bad – really bad.

"And now I turn the water on. Don't panic, it'll be cold. Okay?" He turned on the water as cold as possible. His brother held still. All had been his fault. But what else was he supposed to do? His mother never has had the money to get them treated, after some special treatments of her boyfriends. Should he have let his brother bleed to death? Should he have let him run around with broken bones? Hell, his brother was too dumb. Always at school, always coming home and caring for their bitch of a mother. It was for sure, if he had been more egoistic, he would now count less bruises and broken bones. But this was the brother he loved. No matter how bad he had messed it up sometimes, his brother always forgave him – everything. How had he been able to leave him alone? He turned the water off and wrapped his brother into a towel. He was shivering even worse than before. He rubbed his arms and back, trying to make him feel warm.

"Better?" He asked. His brother only nodded with chattering teeth. "Okay, I go and make you a hot tea and you go and get changed." His brother nodded and he left for the tiny, little kitchen.

"Hey, feel better now?" His brother came back. He was still shivering, but his eyes were much clearer now.

"Yeah…th…th…thanks."

"Go back to bed. I don't want you to freeze to death, after nearly burning to death." He joked.

"Sh...sh...shithead." His brother still understood his jokes. "S…s…so, wh…what are you…your pl…plans?" He asked him.

"If I have luck I can get a job and the hospital."

"Y…you?"

"Yes. Did you think I had lazy three years? I'm officially trained as male nurse." He had tried to make something out of his freedom. He had taken the first apprenticeship training position he had gotten. He has had luck. He really liked the job he was doing there.

"T…T…Trey an…and al…altruistic i…instincts?"

"It's hell of work, but it feels good. Better than…you know drugs and cars and all this stuff."

"N…no job's w…waiting for you?" His brother always the suspicious one.

"Let me first deal with those, who did that to you." He pointed at the leg.

"N…No. P…please. W…we can l…leave. I…I don't…ne…need t…to go to…th…this sch…school."

"Shut up. First of all stop shivering. Your language is killing me." Yes, he was mean. But he loved teasing his brother.

"F…fuck…y…you." He said and threw a pillow after him.

"You better go back to sleep than throwing things after me."

"O…o…only wh…when you pr…promise me…no…not to t…take…c…c…care of…th…these bastards." In his brother's eyes he saw fear and sadness. His brother was afraid of losing him.

"Promised. And now you sleep and I take care for Mum's funeral." He watched his brother curling up to a little ball. He never was going to change his sleeping habits. When he saw that his brother was sleeping he tucked him in. His brother wouldn't like it, if he did so. But he had to. Some impulse was forcing him to care – more than he had before. He took the phone and started to arrange the funeral. Well, there was not much to be arranged. It was only their mother and…there was no one else who cared than them. It didn't take him long and everything was done. Shocked he realized that his brother hadn't lost a word about their mother's death. That he didn't care was to be expected. He never cared about things like these. But his brother? Well, if he stopped to care it meant: he was in a bad way – very bad. He had messed it up and he had to be the one to make it right again. But how to make this right again? His brother had learned to bottle up his emotions. This was not good. Not for his brother. The sheets started to rustled. His brother woke up again.

"Hey, didn't I tell you to sleep."

"Can't."

"At least you can talk like a human being again." His brother rolled his eyes and got up into a sitting position.

"Are you hungry?"

"No…thanks." And always being polite. Hell this boy was shy.

"Can I talk to you…about something…more serious?" He had to be carefully. His brother wasn't much of a talker and he shut down fast if you pushed him too hard.

"What?"

"Mum." His brother looked away and started to focus the sheets. "How do you feel about that?" His brother shrugged his shoulders.

"Can you give me a few words?"

"Dunno…she's dead. Her fault, if she was too dumb to fill the form about the medical history." Ouch. This was rude. Too rude for his brother.

"Ryan, stop this. This could be me, but that's definitely not you."

"How do you wanna know? You pissed off and left me alone with the whole shit for three years." He had hit a nerve and he wasn't sure if he wanted to push this topic any further.

"Ryan I know I messed it up. But this is no excuse for your indifference. So do you wanna go to her funeral?"

"No." This was a lie. Or? Had his brother really changed that bad? If yes, he had to change him again – back into his little brother.

"Are you sure?"

"Trey, she…if you think it was bad when you left, you should have seen what went on in those three years."

"Okay, okay. I…only want to tell you that bottling things up is no measure that helps you. It all will come out one day. So just think carefully about it, if you want to be that way." He was his big brother, thus it was his job to talk some sense into his brother.

"Trey, I'm okay."

"I doubt that."

"Trey…I'm fine…really."

"You used to say that after A.J's special treatment. So don't think I believe you." What had happened that bad that his brother decided to draw back? His brother used to have friends in Chino. Where were they? Why was his brother alone? He never was alone neither physical nor mental. What made his brother draw back into a shell of loneliness? And why did he shut him out? He never shut him out, why now? Again he realized how much damage these damn, fucking three years had caused among their relationship.

"Ryan, I…want to make it okay again, but I need your help."

"There's nothing you can make okay again." Should this be the first time his brother didn't forgive him? He hoped not.

"Ryan, give me a chance."

"If you leave out…this topic." His brother said determining. His little brother was afraid, scared, hurt, sad and despaired and all at once and he had no idea what to do, to make him feel better.

"Ryan, I don't think that this is a good idea. You need to talk about it, if you don't want it to destroy you."

"No, Trey. It'll destroy me, if I talk about it. Just …try to start from new. Forget about it. Pretend as if had never happened." If he was like their mother he would say: no problem. But he wasn't. He was like their Dad. But he never would be like their mother. He never would allow anyone to lay hand on his brother or his on kids – when he ever was able to have some.

"Okay, let's start from new." He wouldn't leave this topic. He only said this to make his brother feel more comfortable again. Hell, his brother couldn't believe he would …accept the fact that he had been suffering under their mother's boyfriends due those three years. He had to regain his brother's trust. He only could imagine how difficult this was going to be. His brother was too hurt as if he would make it too easy for him.

"Are you now hungry? You look as if you could need something." He started a new topic.

"No…I guess I go back to sleep. My head's killing me."

"Okay. I'm there if you need anything." He wouldn't leave him alone. Never ever again, he would leave his little brother alone. Their parents had failed them. They had to be there for each other. They only had each other. There was nobody left. Shit. He had to stay out of trouble. But how? Too many people that wanted their money back. How was he able not to get into trouble? He always was in trouble. No matter what he did he was. Trouble found him, no matter how good he tried to hide.

Nevertheless he had to try. His brother would kick his ass, if he started with his former Chino habits from new. He never would be able to regain his trust. Shit. He had promised him to stay out of trouble. Hell knew how important this promise was for his brother. He never had lied about anything to his brother. That's why he always trusted him. If he now started to…He couldn't think of it anymore.

The phone rang. He picked up. He shouldn't have. He should have known that they would find him. He wouldn't be able to keep the promise. He didn't even want to think about the damage it would cause to his brother, when he found out. He had to find a solution - a quick one and if possible legal.

He looked at the sleeping form of his brother. He was peaceful. He never has had a restful night, when they had lived together with their mother and her boyfriends. But with him he had. This meant a lot. He was the only one his little brother had left. He had to be there for him and he had to keep his promise, no matter at what the cost.


	24. Cohens, Harbor, Girls

**A/N.:** Sorry, I wanted to post this already yesterday. But I have to study for an exam and an assignment to write. So a lot of work. And honestly? I so damn f****** hate criminal law. So if someone who reads this can help me, I would be soooo grateful for that. Alright, I just needed to get rid of this. So have fun and enjoy ;)

* * *

**_Cohens, Harbor, Girls_**

**H**ad he thought at least his brother understood his motives? He had - what a stupid idea to think. Of course he didn't like no one understood. He just didn't want to go to a school he obvious didn't fit into. And he definitely didn't want to stay with the Cohens from Sunday to Friday. Sure, spending more time with Seth would be fun. But his mother? She was … he had no clue what she was. Monster? Not full hundred percent, because when she got the chance to let him disappear for ever somewhere on the streets, she didn't let him. And yes, it had been her offer. But she belonged to those women, who did a lot because of politeness and less because of heart. On the other hand there was this damn hot girl, who even seemed to be his taste characteristically. And there was her boyfriend – a little bit too aggressive for his taste. What meant: there were more problems leading to trouble.

"Hey, what are you waiting for?" He heard a voice – her voice. Turning around was a reflex, because he had to look into these eyes, see her face.

"Uhm…" What was he doing here? Standing in front of the Cohen's driveway and trying to find a reason to avoid entering it.

"Uh…I stay at the Cohens due the week. Harbor is a little too far for coming from Chino everyday."

"Oh…well, then I'll see you…everyday." She smiled at him.

"Despite Saturday." He said.

"And if I beg you to stay on Saturday for me?" Was this a game? If yes, it was a cruel. She was toying around with him. She had a boyfriend. She knew it and he knew it. But he was more than likely to allow her to toy around with him. A boyfriend could be a reason, but definitely wasn't a hindrance.

"Dunno, let me first figure out how this is going to work." He pointed at the house.

"I don't think this will be a problem. Sandy is really cool. And Kirsten has a big heart. You'll see." Or not. Because after all he had done and said, it wouldn't be a wonder if he was going to be the human punching-bag.

"Let's hope so."

"Scared?" She asked him. She came closer. Now she was very close. He felt her breath in his face. It smelled like…peaches - her eyes smooth and warm. He felt the urge to take her into his arms and never let her go.

"No, just wary."

"Also about me?" No. You're the person I'd trust from the deepest bottom of my heart. He never has had this feeling and … it felt curious. It wasn't the same he has had for all the other girls he had met.

"Do I have to?" Her face came closer, their lips nearly touched each other. She closed her eyes…

"Ryan?! Dude, what are you waiting for?" Seth. She soon made distance between her and him. Afraid? Prejudices? Just a game? He had to find out.

"Hey Marissa. What are you doing here?"

"I'm living here? Besides, did you talk to Summer lately?" She asked Seth.

"No. Ma'am didn't think it was necessary to stay in contact with me over the weekend." He sounded pissed.

"Oh…okay." Marissa said and went to her house.

"Wait! Do you know why? Have I said or done something that upset her? Marissa I need to know!" Seth and his girl. Stop is future girl? If this was going to happen?

"Seth, give her a little time." Marissa laughed and then left.

"Do you know what she means?" Seth asked him. This wasn't really his question, was it? He only shrugged his shoulders and then Seth dragged him into the house.

"Hi, Ryan! How was the weekend?" Mr. Cohen asked him. He always was in a good mood – considering Seth it must be something genetically.

"I'm fine."

"That's good, because tomorrow will be your first day at Harbor. But don't worry. You know Seth and Marissa from next door. So you won't be alone." This speech was so ardent. He felt uncomfortable – he felt uncomfortable since he entered this house.

"Uh…thanks." He said.

"Hey Ryan, nice to see you. How's your leg?" Mrs. Cohen. Oh God, all these questions. He was used to come home and either nobody was there or he just pissed off in an empty corner, where he was left alone for the rest of the day - or night.

"Fine, thanks." This was a little intimidating.

"You're still limping a little. Is your fever down?" She stated. Why did these people notice everything? And why did they want to know so much about his state? He didn't like it, if someone noticed something was wrong with him – he didn't like if someone paid attention to him.

"But…it's okay, really."

"So, when we've finished that, what about dinner?" Mr. Cohen said.

"I'll go then." He said and quickly wanted to leave, until he met Seth's weird glance.

"Ryan, dinner in Newport doesn't mean running away or something. Or do you think we're cannibals? If yes, I can assure you, Mum sometimes really likes to bit other people's head off, but besides of that she tries to keep her shape. I don't think human meat is really helpful in that."

"Thanks for your compliments Seth." Mrs. Cohen answered. Of course she was pissed by this answer or? His Mum would…had been. From the corner of his eyes he could see her smile. Smile?

"Aren't you hungry? Don't you feel well?" Mr. Cohen asked. Questions, questions, questions. How was he supposed to survive this week? And the next one? And the one after that one? Oh God, why had he let his brother persuade him.

"Ryan, if you don't like Thai food, we easily can get you something else." He went on. Since when was it about what he liked and what not?

"No…is…okay…I…just…didn't want to disturb your evening."

"We're talking about eating. How can you disturb us by that?" Seth started to ask.

"Ryan, as long as you are here, dinner means all family members and you." Mrs. Cohen said determining. He only nodded. He wasn't fund of getting into an argument with her again.

Dinner went quiet. He just tried to pretend he wasn't there. He helped Mrs. Cohen to clear the table.

"Is everything all right between you and your brother?" She started to ask. He wasn't sure if she only wanted to be polite or really was interested.

"Everything's okay. Thanks." She smiled at him and nodded. What was it about this woman? In one second she gave you the feeling as of she wants to kill you and the next one she pretended to be the nice woman next door.

"You're not really talkative, what? Don't get too intimidated by Seth and Sandy. They both love to talk. It's a little taxing sometimes. But now I have some company in staying in silent and listen." She padded his shoulders. He…flinched. He still hadn't gotten it under control.

"Sorry." He said and left. Shit. He took a paper from the kitchen counter and took a quick look into the living room. Mr. Cohen sat there, reading his newspaper. He carefully went to him. Of course he was going to be mad. He wanted to have his evening peace before he had to go to work tomorrow again.

"Uh…Mr. Cohen?" He asked, nearly whispering. He knew thus you show you really didn't like to disturb. He also knew it was because he was afraid. But he didn't have to say this.

"Ryan? What can I do for you?" He turned to him, putting the newspapers aside.

"Uh…my…my social worker…Neil…wants you to sign this. So he knows I'm here due the week." He handed him the paper.

"Okay, no problem." Mr. Cohen said and went into the kitchen, getting a pen and singing the paper.

"Thanks." He said, after Mr. Cohen handed it back to him.

"And Ryan, call me Sandy. Mr. Cohen makes me so old."

"And call me Kirsten. At least we have to live together for a while, so this should make it easier for all of us." Mrs. Cohen said.

"Uh…yes. Thanks."

He didn't sleep well that night. His leg hurt like hell and he started to doubt it was only because of the wound where some glass had found its way into his body. And added to that he felt like an intruder. He didn't match into this place. He was an outsider and never was going to be more than that. He took his bag and slowly walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning Ryan. And are you afraid of today?" Mr…Sandy asked him and handed him a mug coffee. He shook his head. Honestly? He wanted to run –far away.

"Don't worry. It won't be too bad." Mr…Sandy turned to him, looking into his eyes. He wanted to break the contact, but these eyes were following him.

"And no matter what they're going to say. You have a right to be there and you deserve it. So don't let them get you down only because you aren't from here." Easier said than done.

He went through the hallways of his new High School and the feeling of being an intruder increased with every step he went on.

"Cohen!" He heard a female voice. It was the brunette girl.

"Summer?!" Seth's face lit up.

"Hey, welcome to your first day at Harbor High." Marissa said when she saw him.

"Hi."

"So what says your schedule for first period?" She asked further.

"Uhm…calculus…I…" She grabbed his paper and looked at it.

"Looks like you nearly got the same schedule as me. Well, than we have plenty of time to get to know each other a little more." She smiled at him. How he loved this smile, but it was dangerous.

"What will your boyfriend think about that?"

"What boyfriend?" She said, grabbed his arm and dragged him with her.


	25. How to get another Boy's Girlfriend

**_How to get another Boy's Girlfriend_**

**S**he lay on the bed in the pool house. They were supposed to do homework together. Well, since weeks this was their excuse to have sometime on their own.

"Do you have to go back tomorrow? Can't you stay over the weekend?"

"I have to. That's the deal." He dropped down on the bed. He still wasn't sure if there was more between them. On his side he likely would have this relationship leading to more than just friendship. But there was her boyfriend – considering her point of view he wasn't - and a huge water polo team.

"That sucks. I really liked to spend the weekend with you." She said, rolled towards him and looked into his eyes.

"Why? You have a boyfriend."

"No! He's not my boyfriend he's…just…he's…"

"He's Luke."

"Right."

"And you two still seem to be pretty much a couple." He said. He needed to know what was going on between them.

"From the outside. I…haven't told him…I want to break up. But I really don't like him. I…only hope he might forget about us…I mean that we have …had a relationship." She admits.

"So you're still together. Can't you break up with him, if you don't like him as boyfriend anymore?" And be my, if you want to?

"I would like to. But my Mum likes him and…our relationship already is strained." Mothers. Glad he had none to worry about. It felt strange, but this new life had come so suddenly, he never had really mourned about her death. What meant: either he was emotionally dead or she never had been a real mother for him. Second reason was more probable, considering her alcoholism, her unemployment and her boyfriends. But after what she had told him about her Mum, this monster wasn't any better.

"Tell me something."

"What?" He asked her. He loved her voice. He didn't want to waste their rare time together with his voice, when he had the chance to listen to her.

"About you. The only thing I know about you is that you're Ryan Atwood from Chino with some kind of bad past."

"Isn't that enough?"

"No. I told you so much about my Mum, my sister, my Dad." Her Dad. If there was a person she loved it was her Dad. The way she was talking about him…he sometimes wished he has had a Dad like that. But he didn't and what one never has had, could one never miss and thus nothing could hurt you.

"And I don't mind you talking to me about those things."

"I know. But your Mum, how is she?" Thud. Okay, she really didn't know much.

"Uh…well…she was a monster like your's only …different in somehow."

"And now she had changed?" She came closer to him.

"She died." Her face dropped. Shit, he should have found nicer words to tell a girl his mother was dead.

"Oh…sorry to hear. How…I mean you must be sad…and I was talking about my Mum as if I wished she was…you know…" She started to apologize. He started to feel bad. He didn't want her to blame herself for a mistake which wasn't existent.

"Don't worry. I'm okay with that…in somehow. I mean now she's gone what means less trouble." She sat up and looked at him. She was the first person who showed real interest in his life even emotions. It was a weird feeling. He had no idea how to handle this, despite escaping to a more innocent topic.

"What do you mean?"

"She was an alcoholic…do I have to get more detailed?" He didn't like talking about this. He wanted her to be there for him, not because his past didn't fit into this Newport ideology.

"No…not if you don't want to. What's about your Dad?"

"In jail for armed robbery. Has some years left. Impressive what?" He would understand if she now took her things and went off. But she didn't.

"That's why you live with your brother?"

"Right. Better than a group home or something."

"But you two have a good relationship to each other." He noticed how she tried to catch the last straw figuring his family was not all bad.

"Well…I haven't seen him for three years. But we're on good terms." She laid back and snuggled into his arm.

"You really don't like to talk about this. Can you promise me something?"

"What?"

"That you'll tell me one time. I want to know you. I want to know who you are." She whispered. When she did that, her voice even sounded sexier and he had trouble to stay cool in his pants. Okay, he was glad he managed to do so when she was around anyway. She came closer to him. Closer. Closer. Oh God. This wasn't good. This wasn't his home. He…Now she was laying on…on…on him. He felt his heart beating faster. He took a deep breath. This would be very impolite if he got hot now, or? Her face was over his now. He wanted to take her into his arms, never letting her go. He wanted to kiss her until he lost his breath. He wanted to be a part of her…he wanted her…now and the whole day - the rest of his life. The urge was so strong. He had to fight it. She had a boyfriend. He had to stay cool.

"I want you to be a part of me." She whispered. He wasn't able to hold back. He slung his arms around her and kissed her. She tasted like peaches…sweet peaches. She returned the kiss. It felt as if his body was filled with electricity. His body prickled everywhere. He never had felt like that before. Her skin soft. Her body thin, but smooth. Her hair long and lovely. He tightened his grip around her body. He felt her sinking onto his body. He felt the heat of her body. The heat made them melt into each other. Not only physically. He gave her everything. He let his guard down. He led her into the depth of his soul and she didn't hesitate to enter it. She started to undress him. This here…he and Marissa …they were meant for eternity. There was no way back…STOP! He immediately sat up. He couldn't do this. This…wasn't …meant to happen.

"What? What's wrong?" She asked him.

"I…I can't do this…I mean…not that I don't want to…but…I can't." He had to come down again.

"Why?" She already had seen his soul. There was no reason to lie any more.

"It's…in Chino I…used to…doing it and then sneak out through the window. But I want this to be serious and…this is not possible when we rush it…despite you're still having a boyfriend."

"Why do I have the feeling as if this is not all?" She had seen through him.

"I…if I do that…I would have want to stay with you for the rest of my life and…then I can't run away."

"Run away? You don't have to, or?"

"Not now…but fact is that my life always turns out to be shit at one point and then I need to be able to escape. I…need time until I know I won't have to run away." He said. She nodded and snuggled back into his arm.

"Thanks. For not making use of…you know and for being honest. But I promise I'll do everything to keep you from fleeing and when this means I have to make you stay."

"How do you wanna do that?" He asked laughingly.

"And if I have to rape you." She whispered into his ear. There was no person he would like to give allowance to that more than her.

"Why don't we go out today, if you can't stay over the weekend?" She asked after they lay there in silence for a while.

"Sure."

"With Seth and Summer?" She asked. Uhm…yes. Would be a little more innocent. If they met her boyfriend it wouldn't look like a real date, because all four were friends now. So, just a meeting with friends.

"Sure, why not?"

"Maybe we can push them to be honest to themselves and admit their love to each other. I mean, Summer always says she doesn't like Seth because he's a geek and looks like a beanpole. But seriously, have you seen how she's looking at him and how she's talking about him? I know Summer long enough to figure out whom she likes and whom not. And Seth definitely doesn't belong to her hating list." How was she doing this? From one second she switched to another topic when he started to feel uncomfortable. She always was clearing the situation without all these excusing sentences and gestures – just as if nothing had happened.

He was leaning against the balustrade of the pier, Seth next to him. The girls were …somewhere telling them being back in five minutes.

"Ryan, I have to thank you. Since you're here my life turned out to be the greatest fun on earth. Honestly, I start to like Newport." He looked at Seth. He knew he was a good soul and honest, but he liked to exaggerate.

"Stop this, okay?" He said and gently slapped Seth's back.

"No man! Seriously. Before you were here, not even Marissa – the girl next door – was talking to me. And look at me now? Marissa is taking us to school, I hang out at night with Summer Roberts and the water polo team stopped peeing into me sneakers. Wouldn't you call this a development?" The way, Seth always tried to sound serious, made him laugh. God, he never has had friends he was able to laugh with. In real, he never has had friends like Seth who really cared. It had been Seth's doing that Sandy found him the night he was really messed up. It was Seth initiative allowing him to attend Harbor and at least flee from Chino and his influence for five days a week. It was Seth, who had made it possible for him to regain a perspective.

"You know what Seth, before you start thanking me for something I have no hand in, let me thank you for …you know this here…giving me a chance."

"You know what? We're an unbeatable team." Seth said then they bounced fists. He was right. They were an unbeatable team. Seth kept him out of trouble he used to be in before they met. And he…just kept him out of his depression being forced to live in Newport.

"Hey Chino!" No. It was a dark angry voice and he knew to whom it belonged to. What had he been thinking about?

"Someone told me, you're messing around with my girl." No trouble. He had tried so hard to avoid him, swallowed every insult every fucking day he was in school. He fought the urge to punch - all this only to be allowed to stay here and use his chance.

"So, who do you think you are?" Luke came closer and started with some threatening gestures. They had no effect on him. When you got used to look straight into the muzzle of a gun - which was pointed at you – a guy like this couldn't be a threat for you.

"I didn't mess around with anyone." He only said. He wanted to leave. He had gotten this one chance. He didn't want to destroy it, because of this guy. He had promised his brother he would make it and he always kept his promises.

"I'm not finished with you." Luke grabbed his arm.

"Luke! Let him go!" He heard her screaming. Please let him listen to what his girlfriend says, he begged inwardly.

"Why would I?" He said and then pushed him hard. He struggled to keep balance. But man, this guy owned force. He lost the fight for balance and hit the floor. A stabbing pain ran through his knee. He got back onto his feet. He wanted to. He really wanted it that bad. But at the end it was going to be his ass.

"Little trash from Chino doesn't even know how to walk. Ooops." Black. Rage and black. He knew he was taller and stronger. He knew he was going to lose this. He knew he was screwing up, what others had fought for – for him.

"Ryan!!" He heard Seth scream. It already was too late. His fist connected with a cheekbone and he felt how it gave in – or was it just the flesh around it? He should hope so.

"You little shithead!" Luke screamed and tore him down. His back hit the floor heavy and he couldn't breathe for a second. He felt one punch, two, three…now it was his turn. With force her pushed Luke off of him.

"Stop it! Both!" He heard her scream. He wanted to. He had to. He tasted blood. His lip was split. He went away. He had to. He didn't want to produce more damage. He turned his back and went to Seth. He took some deep breaths. He felt how the anger eased off.

"Ryan!" He heard him scream. Before he knew what was causing this outburst he felt something heavy and strong in the hollow of his knee. He stumbled forward and again landed on his knee – the one Luke had kicked in. Shit. This was a fucking bad pain.

"Did you have to do this?" Marissa screamed. Shit. This hurt. He wanted to scream the pain away, but he knew too well this wouldn't lead to anything, thus he only gritted his teeth. He couldn't suppress a deep groan when he tried to sit up. The throbbing pain in his knee didn't make any attempt to decrease.

"Hey, are you okay?" Seth asked pointing at his knee.

"I guess it could use some ice." He said and tried to get up. No, his knee didn't like the weight of his body. Probably bruised. How he hated it.

"Ryan, do you think you can walk? Shell we get you to the ER?" Summer asked him. He heard sobs. She was crying. Why? He was the victim of Luke's outburst. Not her. He slowly went to her, trying to prevent limping.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked her, sitting next to her, rubbing her back.

"He's…he's such an idiot. He…might have hurt you. And…he's not a boyfriend. He's a…he's a guard, doing his job. Nothing else."

"And that's why you're wasting tears? You know what? At least now you have a reason why not keeping up your relationship. I mean what kind of mother likes to see her daughter dating a violent water polo guy?" His cheering up attempt succeeded, she started to smile. He looked at her and carefully whipped her tears away.

"Are you okay?"

"Sure. It takes a little more to knock me out."

"What do you think?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think you can handle a girl like me?" He hoped so. But he was sure he would do everything to do that.

"Do you want me to?" She didn't say anything but leant over to kiss him. She still tasted so damn fucking good and he got reminded of a few hours earlier this evening.

"Is this enough for an answer?" She asked. He didn't say anything, but kissed her back. Now he sensed he had a reason to stay and one more to avoid Luke. Maybe not everything was bad. Maybe he really was able to escape from his former life.

Seth helped him to walk through the hallway of Casa de Cohen – how Seth used to call it. His knee still hurt like hell. He rather would have liked to sneak into the pool house, without anyone noticing it. In somehow he knew Seth's parents were going to recognize something had happened. And he was afraid of his Mum. Of course she would accuse him for what had happened and throw him out and what then? Shit. Why couldn't things work an easy way? Why did they always have to be so fucking complicated?

"Boys are you home?" Sandy called.

"Yeah!" Seth called back, still helping Ryan limping towards the kitchen…

"Oh my God, what had happened?" Sandy's first sentence when they reached him. Why couldn't those people have a bit more of the Chino-ignorance and just pretend as if nothing had happened?

"Well, that's a long story. But first of all, it wasn't Ryan's fault. At least he wasn't the one who turned violent."

"Seth, spit it out, what had happened?"

"Can I help Ryan to sit down first? And an ice pack…" Seth looked at his face, "better two could be very helpful." Seth said and led him into the living room, where he sat down onto the couch.

"Here." Sandy handed him two ice packs. He placed the one carefully on his knee and the other one, was for his face.

"So, what has happened?"

"As you know we were out with the girls. We had some dinner and then walked a long the pier. The girls went somewhere and Ryan and I had to wait for them. We're talking a bit about this and that and…then Luke appears. I swear we had no idea he was there too. I mean if we had known…"

"Seth, stick to my question."

"Luke was pissed about Ryan messing around with Marissa. Ryan told him he wasn't and then Luke pushed him violently and Ryan fell to the floor and got angry." And now the part where he proved once again, he wasn't better than the rest of his Chino-gang.

"What does angry mean?"

"I punched him."

"Once!" Seth added. "And then he wanted to leave but Luke caught him and…planted a few more punches in Ryan's face and when Ryan was able to free himself and went off, Luke kicked him into the back of his knee." Seth finished the story. Sandy looked at him, critical.

"One punch?"

"Yeah…a heavy one."

"Not more?" Sandy asked on. He only shook his head. He knew what this meant. He got up, the throbbing pain in his knee was still there, but the ice had brought some relieve.

"And you didn't start?"

"No…sorry for that. I know I screwed it. I…just go and pack my things so I can leave, okay? Nobody will have an argument and you don't have to tell your wife."

"Wait, wait, wait. Nobody was saying something about leaving. We all are making mistakes and if what you told me is the truth, there is no reason for you to leave." He gently put a hand onto his shoulder and guided him back onto the couch.

"Dad, it's the truth. Now it's only a question how to persuade Mum it wasn't his fault."

"To persuade me of what?" Okay, now he could pack his bag. He wanted to get up again, but Sandy pressed him back onto the couch.

"Oh my God. I didn't think it was that bad!" She called out, when she entered the living room.

"What?" Sandy asked.

"I was at Julie's and when Marissa came back, talking about some Luke being such an asshole and could have injured you severely I came back." Either luck was on his side – for a change – or she was playing a role to not to upset her husband or son.

"You know what has happened?" Sandy asked her back.

"That's why I'm here. Is it that bad? Shell we take you to the ER. You shouldn't take a knee injury lightly." Help! He rather had liked someone who yelled at him than this. And no, he didn't want to go to the ER. He had enough to them for the rest of his life. He didn't need more.

"No…thanks…it's only bruised. Nothing bad."

"Are you sure? You better let a doctor see it. It might be broken." She stated.

"I…I can …I know when something is broken and when it's only bruised. And this doesn't feel like broken." After this sentence he looked into three not really amused faces.


	26. Reports, Family & Friends

**_Reports, Family & Friends_**

**S**he watched him sitting on the edge of their pool, watching the horizon. When she had met him first she never had though what kind of soul was hidden under the shell of a rude and rough boy. But the last few months had taught her it was a good one – quiet, but good. They all had developed a kind of routine and it felt harmonic. She had missed this feeling for a while. Well, this boy had forced them to step back from their jobs a little and spending more time as family. Maybe the boy was not only a burden. The bad memories were gone, too. No, they weren't, but they weren't as bad any more. She could make it right again – she was making it right again. She wondered how this boy with such temper had been able to stay out of serious trouble. He did, that was most important. He had to use the chance he had gotten. She went to him and sat down next to him.

"You like this place, do you?" She asked. He shrugged his shoulders - his way to say yes or no. It was curious, but she always understood what he wanted to tell her through this gesture. He still wasn't able to look at her and he still thought he disturbed their family peace. If he knew that he was the reason for this peace to exist? No, probably not.

"We got Seth's report today. He's still pretty good. Sometimes I ask myself how we were able to raise such a smart kid."

"He's ambitious." He answered.

"Are you pleased with yours?" She asked carefully. Fact was neither she nor her husband knew how school went for the boy. She only wanted to know whether they needed to have an eye on him.

"Think so." The boy said and got up. She hated this gap between them and yes it was her fault.

"Ryan, wait." She said. He stopped. "Would you mind to sit down a moment?" He shrugged his shoulders and did as she asked. This time she knew he didn't care whether he sat next to her or went somewhere else. But she cared.

"I know, we both haven't had the best start and I know it were pretty much my prejudices causing this. But I want you to know that I'm not bothered by you being around. I don't feel disturbed or burdened. I…just…I don't know. Maybe I can tell you one day about my motives. I only can assure that it had nothing to do with you personally." She put an arm around his shoulders. She was glad to realize he stopped flinching at the slightest touch. Sometimes she wondered what must have happened to a boy, if he reacted like that. She often felt bad when she took her son into her arms while Ryan was in the same room.

"Is okay." The boy said. He was so quiet and cautious. She wished he could act around them a little more naturally. He helped her to get up. A gentleman under a rough shell. A kid under a rough shell.

"Uhm…Ryan, would you mind to show me your report? Not that I wanna judge it. I'm beyond that, I promise. It's just…now where you live with us due the week, I …we…Sandy and I really want to know if everything's alright. At least we have a little responsibility for you." She tried an attempt. She didn't want him feeling monitored. It only felt bad. He now lived with them for a few months and he never had asked them once for help. He looked at her – confused.

"Well, Seth never can wait to show us his report. I…we just thought you …"

"No, is okay, if you want to." He said, went into the pool house and browsed through the books and papers on the bed. Oh no. He still had no desk.

"Here." He handed her the envelope.

"Thanks." She said and took the report. She only needed one look…and yes she was…stunned…better amazed. Who had thought this? She didn't know why, but her heart jumped a little.

"That's great, Ryan. Seems as if not only Seth is the ambitious one in this household. C'mon, we need to show Sandy. He'll be happy to see that." She looked at the boy who only frowned. She didn't care. She took his hand and dragged him with into the house. She really had been mistaken about him.

"Hey you two. What's up?" Her husband asked her, when she entered the kitchen with Ryan in tow.

"Here." She handed him the report.

"From drop out to straight A student. This is quite a development. Congratulations." She knew later she had to apologise towards her husband. But she already knew how.

"Well this is your first Harbor report and then only A's. This needs to be celebrated. What about a nice family dinner you and Seth, your girls and we? And you choose what to eat?" Her husband said. This was a good idea. The boy didn't seem too happy about his report. He seemed so depressed.

"No, thank you. But the last bus to Chino goes in two hours." He scrupulously stuck to the deal. Man, it was two days and two nights he didn't stay with them. And yes, it felt curious when he didn't sit at the kitchen counter next to her son, like he used to every morning. Yes, she started to miss him being around, although one didn't notice him a lot. It was the thought he was there.

"Why don't you stay over the weekend?" She suggested. Two glances were shot at her. "Why not? Seth would be happy having you around even on the weekends and I can imagine a girl who would like having a date on Saturday evening and thus I can monitor your knee, because you're still limping."

"Thanks…but…I already claim enough of your time and I …need to help my brother. And…my knee is fine, just bruised." No, she didn't believe this anymore. A bruise lasts a couple of weeks, maybe one month. But the boy still was limping, not badly, but enough to make her notice.

"Ryan, you're working twenty-four hours seven days a week, either for school or for a job. Don't you think you should take a break? I mean this here is the proof for very hard work." Her husband started to persuade.

"C'mon Ryan, if you don't want a family dinner, then…something else? Would you like going to the movies?" She suggested. He probably was a little overstrained with so much family.

"No, thanks I'm fine really. I need to pack my stuff." The boy was so uneasy.

"Okay, then what did your Mum do with you, when you got such a report?" She asked. Maybe it was easier for him sticking to a familiar routine. She looked at him. Confused eyes were staring at him.

"C'mon there must be something." Her husband tried to make him feel a little easier.

"My Mum didn't even care whether I went to school. I doubt she ever had seen one of my reports and if she had, it's questionable if she was sober enough to understand it." Oh God! Why hadn't she forgotten about this? She looked at her husband, who looked clueless like she felt and then she watched how the boy went off.

"Wow, this was scary."

"Seth? Have you listened to …to this?" She asked him.

"Yep, shell I go and talk to him or are you willing to let him go home now?" She hated his sarcasm.

"Would be worth a try." Her husband answered and then her son went to the pool house.

"Was this my fault?" She asked her husband, not sure what to think about what had happened seconds ago.

"No, but I told you the boy has a hard past."

"Well here he is. He only has one condition." Her son said. Ryan slowly emerged from behind her son.

"What condition?" Her husband asked suspiciously.

"I prepare the dinner, just…as a little reward." He said shyly.

"Lasagne?" She asked. She loved his lasagne. Well, no matter what he made, it always was good. Yes, she was envious. A sixteen years old boy was a better cook than she was and she was the woman in this household.

"Uhm…can I use the phone? I have to tell my brother I stay over the weekend."

"Of course you can." She gave him the phone. He took it and went to the hallway.

"Yeah…hi. How are you?…that's good…uhm…just…a question…would you mind if I'm staying in Newport over the weekend?…Yeah…okay…cool…that's great…I know…uhm…can you do my one favour? Stay out of trouble, okay? You know what happens if…you know what. Okay…right…take care, bye."

"Trey is okay with that." He said, handing her the phone back. She was surprised by the close relationship the brothers seem to have. She never could imagine being that close to her sister.

"Great, I go to the girls, you prepare the dinner and then we all have a fun evening." Her son concluded.

"Thanks Seth, I didn't expect you to help." Ryan said grinning. There was something, between him and Seth she didn't understand. They both were different as day and night. But still they were so close to each other. Seth had no trouble being Seth when he was with Ryan and even Ryan was able to act around Seth more naturally – more like a teenager.

"I know that and that's why I keep out of the kitchen while you're in there." Her son was a spoilt little boy. But Ryan didn't care.

"I can help you." She offered. At least it was her choice of menu this evening.

"Uh…Mum do you think this is a good idea? You and kitchen? Think of our guests this evening. You don't want to poison them or?"

"Seth, you can be so lovely."

"I know. Ryan, don't let her even close to the kitchen. There are reasons, why we're ordering our dinner, instead of cooking it." Ryan looked a little confused.

"Seth is right. She knows how to handle contractors and construction worker, but she's a mess in the kitchen. Sorry, honey." Her husband said.

"Okay, I admit. I'm really not a good cook, but I can learn." She said, realizing that this whole situation - although it was jokingly – made Ryan feel uncomfortable.

"My Mum wasn't a good cook either. I guess this is nothing out of the ordinary." He said quietly.

"I'm glad to hear. But before you stay around in the kitchen I want to have a look at your knee. And don't tell me once again it's only bruised."

"I'm okay…really…just." She only looked at him intensely. He sighed and pulled up his trouser.

"It's still swollen, and no it's no bruise anymore a bruise is coloured. You really should let an orthopaedist have a look at it."

"No…listen…it looks worse as it is. I know how to handle this."

"Okay, but then you have to let me give you a hand in the kitchen." She felt bad if the boy was doing everything alone. She wanted to help him, showing him that he meant something to her.


	27. Impossible to be prepared

**A/N.:** Well today I will post the last three chapters. I don't want to let you wait too long for an update and today will be the last day I have time to do so. Have fun and enjoy

* * *

**_Impossible to be prepared_**

**N**obody could have prepared him for that. Nobody, never could have.

"Show me your hands!" The man had shouted at his brother. He has had the coke behind his back. He only wanted to show it to them. He wanted to let them know he wasn't going to make trouble.

"Don't panic, okay Ryan? This has nothing to do with you and I'll tell them." He had told him. But fuck, how was he supposed not to panic? It was the middle of the night and he had been asleep when a dozen of police officers had stormed into their little apartment.

"Mister, I want to see what's in your hands!"

"Okay Ryan? Just stay calm." He had said to him, but it was easier said than done.

"Raise your hands now!" The man's voice was shaky and he was pointing a gun at his brother. Trey was moving his arms. He had wanted to do, as he was told, but they didn't give him a chance. Heard a loud bang and then his brother collapsed, next to him. There was blood – everywhere. He had done everything to help him – to prevent this. But he had been helpless, really helpless. Soon his hands, his shirt, everything was full of blood, his brother's blood and nobody had come to help them. Nobody. He had been fucking alone. He had thought his life had changed. He had thought things were getting better – eventually. He had thought he was able to rest – from his Mum, the alcoholism, from A.J., the other guys, Chino, crimes. He hadn't wanted a lot. He only hadn't wanted this. He had promised him to stay out of trouble. He knew what it had meant to him – this promise. Hell, he knew what was going to happen. Inwardly he had known that something was wrong. He had known that he was involved in something – the something he fled from. He had known it and pretended to be blind. And here he was now. He was stuck in a mess he totally has had no hand in – a mess he never could have influenced. Of course they thought he had something to do with it. They were cut from the same deck. They were both blessed with the same god damn luck.

Now he stood there. Not knowing what to do. They hadn't even asked what was going on. They hadn't even taken into consideration that there was nothing – that he had nothing behind his back. They hadn't even tried to find out what was behind the back, because if they had done, this here wouldn't take place right now.

Everywhere was blood – his blood. His t-shirt was soaked with it. What now? Why wasn't there anyone telling him what was going on? What did they do with him? What did they want from him? Why wasn't there anyone explaining him anything?

There was only one thing he knew. He was gone. He hadn't kept his promise. He had known it. He never meant enough to someone being worth it to stay out of trouble. Nobody never really cared. He was on his own, again. All alone without anyone even caring about what he said. No, he hadn't known that this had been planed for tonight. No, he never had seen this stuff before. No, nobody had talked to him about this. Hell, how could he have been part of this, if he even hadn't known that this was happening? He only was here on weekends and lately not even then. He hadn't been able to monitor his actions, besides nobody had said he had to. Damn, how often had he told them he hadn't anything to do with this? How often did they need to be screamed it into their faces? Besides, did they really expect him to be patient and calm after…that? Did they really think they can demand from him any cooperation after…that? What the hell did they think they were? He wanted to wash his hands, change his cloths – now. But they didn't let him. They thought he might be dangerous and he might be high. Hell, he never has done coke and he never was going to do so. And the only person being dangerous was that one shooting his brother.

"A little scum less, for the safety of our community." One officer said. He shouldn't have said this. Not while he was standing next to his body, soaked with his blood. He shouldn't have said this, because he knew it had been their fault, not their's. He looked into this fad ugly face. No, he shouldn't have looked into his eyes, telling him this, because right in this moment he wasn't in a state to hold back – nobody could expect him to be.

His fist connected with fad – wet fad. Man, this was lousy - one punch and immediately hitting the ground. He didn't care. He only saw that physically this man was in an inferior position. Now without his gun he wasn't this tough guy anymore. He punched him.

One, two, three, four. He didn't care whether he was getting into more trouble or not. He already was in trouble – a few years more or less didn't matter anyway. He punched him. Five, six. They tried to get him off of the man. He didn't allow them. He screamed. Screamed at them.

"What the fuck do you think you are? Hu? What did you think when you did it? Felt good? Done your job properly? Your boss will be proud of you. And your wife? Was this worth for an extra fuck!" He was in rage. They had no right to do so. They weren't supposed to do so. They were deciding about lives. Who the fuck gave them the right to do so – to decide who was allowed to live on and who not? Nobody. They were supposed to do their job properly and if they had, they had known there was nothing behind his back.

"Can someone get the kid off of Jonny? He'll kill him!" He heard someone scream. He stopped. He wasn't like them. He wasn't allowed to decide who was allowed to live. Besides this one wasn't worth it. He didn't kill people.

"C'mon. Calm down. Sit down and breathe." A female said. He didn't know her. He only knew she belonged to them.

"Can someone have a look at him? He's losing it!"

How had they thought he was going to react? Stay calm and just allow them to clear the scene? It was their mistake, not his. They couldn't have thought this or?

"Ryan?" He heard someone – someone he should know, but he wasn't sure.

"Hey kid, look at me." What was he supposed to do now? There was nothing or? What was happening to him? Why wasn't there anyone telling him what went on?

"Okay, then don't look at me. Can you at least show me that you hear me?" Yes, he heard them – him. His head nodded automatically.

"Ryan, listen to me, okay? They're going to take you with them. They think you were part of this. But I'm convinced you weren't, so don't say anything until I arrive. Do you understand me?"

"What makes you that sure?" He only asked. He was defeated. His life was determined, for the next few years.

"Ryan, don't lose hope." How can one lose something he didn't even posses? Two polices officers came, handcuffed him and then forced him into the car.

He had lost every feeling for time. He only realized that his surrounding changed. He didn't sit in the car anymore, but in one of these investigation rooms. They had asked him several questions, but he had stayed mute. Not, because someone had told him before. He just wasn't in the mood for saying anything right now. He only wanted to be left alone.

"Okay where are the drugs?" Mute.

"We haven't found anything in your cloths, so where do you hide it?" Mute.

"Are you high or dumb?" Mute.

"Well, then I have to order a drug screening and then we'll see where you're hiding the stuff. Your last chance to cooperate." Mute. They would treat him like they wanted to anyway. No matter what he did, he was nothing more than scum for them and they had demonstrated it - on his expenses. They grabbed his upper arms and led him into a sterile room.

"Here a little dealer. Drug screen and strip search. Let us know when you're finished." Nice, he never had taken drugs nor sold them. But this didn't matter right now.

"Okay, I'm Dr. Morrison. Do you rather like to sit or lie down while I'm taking a blood sample from you?" Did he look as if he cared? He didn't. She just should do her job and leave him alone. He didn't bother standing naked in front of a woman who touched every part of his body. He early had lost the kind of privacy which made the people freak, when they even thought about a strip search too early. He didn't bother. When she gave him his cloths back, she had to realize, there was nothing. He had known it before. He hadn't had a real clue of what had gone on at his home – his brother's home.

"Nothing? Have you checked his stomach?"

"I don't think we'll find something." Don't even dare. You have what you wanted and I'm sure what you're doing is against all procedural rules, he thought.

"Nauseant."

"What? No. Look, this is a kid. I can't take the responsibility for that." He? A kid? Was the way they treated him the one they treated kids? If yes, then these people were only a bunch of perverts.

"And what if one of these coke-balls bursts? Do you want to take the responsibility of his death in that case?"

"You're an asshole, do you know that?"

"He had beaten Jonny nearly to death. He didn't deserve any better." Yes, and Jonny has shot my brother to death – not only nearly. But this didn't matter because he was the emotionless scum from Chino. But this went too far for his taste. He wasn't going to allow them that. He was not going to let them making him vomit his guts out.

"Okay kid, this will taste like hell and…you can imagine the effect won't be nice either. But if you … if you're cooperating, it'll be over soon and easier for all of us." She put a cup with some liquid in front of him. He didn't take it. His brother wouldn't do that either. Hell, his brother would ask whether he was nuts, allowing these people all this. Trey never would have given permission to a strip search or a drug screening – mostly because he was on drugs anyway.

"Please, kid." No, this time it was too much. He threw the cup against a wall.

"Okay, I give you a second chance and I beg you not to force us." She put the second cup onto the table. If someone would ask him why he had acted like that, he never would have an answer. He threw the cup away. Blank pour rage was ruling him, that's what he guessed. He didn't intend to hurt someone. He had taken chairs and thrown them through the room. He knocked over the table. But he hadn't hurt the doctor or the guards. He just had destroyed some – a lot – furniture.

"Uh…Kid…don't…this is no good idea. Just…calm down again…right?" He hadn't listened. He smashed some windows and the glass of a medicine cabinet – some of the pieces remained in his hand, but he didn't really care.

He felt how he was thrown to the floor and violently held down on his stomach. The rest just blurred into a muddle of scenes.

He was still struggling to get free – impossible. A long thin tube and someone screaming something he couldn't understand. Someone was holding his head tight. Then the thin tube, his nose, the feeling of sickness which strikes you by putting something long from your mouth into your throat. He still fought them. The only success? An awfully bleeding nose. This nose-tube-torture ended with unbearable stomach cramps followed by a lot of vomit. Result? Is stomach was empty and had been empty, he got even more pissed and then everything turned black.


	28. Changes and Truths

**_Changes and Truths_**

**H**e was on his way to juvies. His heart had dropped when he had gotten the phone call. He just wasn't able to believe this. The boy had spent most of the time in Newport with being a straight A student, having fun with Seth and enjoying time with Marissa. The weekends on which he went home had gotten rare. His wife had been the one trying to make him stay the first weekend and then the next one and next one. She only accepted him to leave, when she – as well as he – got the feeling that the boy might be bothered by some kind of homesickness. Thus for him it was impossible to believe the boy has had a hand in some kind of drug deal. He hadn't told his wife. He wasn't sure how she was going to react. Would her prejudices overwhelm her once again? Or has she really gotten some feelings for the boy? He, for his part, had grown fond of the boy. Thus what had happened hit him hard. How was the boy going to handle this tragedy? First his mother and now his brother – shot in front of eyes. He wasn't able to bear this. He was only a kid and not even an adult could handle such a tragedy.

He entered the building.

"Hi, I'm Sandy Cohen. I'm Ryan Atwood's defender and liked to see him." He said to the guard at the entrance. The man looked at him sceptically. Of course he wasn't dressed in his usual lawyer outfit. It was the middle of the night and it was an emergency. Who cared about his clothing in such a situation?

"Okay. Jake, bring him to our new druggy." This was more than out of place.

"He's no junkie."

"Our doctor can tell another story." The man said. What? Doctor? Oh God, please let him be alright. He was led to the medical ward of the jail. When he entered the room he got sick. This smelled like procedural mistakes and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able swallowing his temper.

"What can I do for you?" A woman asked him.

"First of all untie him." He growled. The boy was strapped down on a gurney, having an IV in his arm. He seemed to be asleep. Better for him, thus he didn't notice what they were doing to him.

"Unfortunately I don't think I can do so." The woman answered.

"You better do so if you don't want to get charged for this here." He was in rage. This boy really had been through enough. He didn't need this.

"But…"

"I know how this works, so don't play me for a sucker." The woman only shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She answered while she was opening the straps. He went to the boy. There was no reaction coming from him.

"If you wait twenty minutes he'll wake up." The woman said. She had an uncomfortable look up on her face. Twenty minutes. He had told them not to ask questions until he wasn't there. Well, they hadn't asked him questions, but done something else.

"May I ask, what had been done to him during my absence?" He asked firmly.

"Well,… the whole dealer-program." She answered. No, this wasn't true. This boy was no dealer or a junkie! He just had been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"And what is this supposed to mean?" He pointed at the boy, the IV and the now opened straps.

"The boy was a little combative…he…freaked out. We didn't know how to calm him down. We were forced to do this, especially after he had already attacked one of us at the scene. It's just a measure for our and his safety."

"He's a kid that had watched how his brother got shot in front of his eyes for no reason. The boy is…was in shock. He was in no state of making any decisions. That's why I told you to wait until I'm there!" He screamed. He was frustrated. For every mistake they did, the boy had to the bills.

"If there had been no reason, they probably hadn't shot his…brother." She now defended herself…her job.

"Well, as far as I'm in the know, they haven't found a gun. His brother was hiding coke behind his back. Nothing else." They had done so many mistakes for today and…the only thing he wanted to do was taking the boy into his arms and…trying to tell him everything would be alright again. But he couldn't. Nothing was going to be alright again. His brother was dead. He never was going to forget about this day. He was charged and it was a wonder if he got him out of this mess. And when he was out, what then? He had lost his future. The whole progress he had made had been for nothing. He didn't even want to think about the damage this might have caused to the boy. But one thing was for sure: he never was going to be the same again. This boy was sent onto a downward spiral and God knew how soon he'll reach the end. He set down next to the boy. There were still traces from his brother's blood on his hands and arms. How should he explain his wife what had happened? Would she fall back into her prejudices? Or would she feel sad and helpless as he did? He had no clue. What about his son? He was losing a friend - his best friend.

It took a while until he saw the boy's eyes moved open. These blue eyes – sad and despaired – looked at him – confused.

"Hey kid. How are you?"

"Dunno." The boy mumbled. Please don't be so indifferent. Don't have lost all hope. Please don't give up on yourself, he begged inwardly.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of this. I…the only thing I need to know is: did you know about your brother's…job." He asked carefully.

"In somehow…I mean Trey always is…was in trouble." Shit. Really bad shit.

"Did you notice something about this deal?"

"Dunno…I mean I figured he had something going…but…this is…" The boy was confused and he blamed himself for his brother's mistakes. Shit, once again. His brother had been the adult among them. He should be the one watching his brother, not the other way round.

"Ryan, this is not what I mean. Did he tell you something about this?"

"No."

"Okay, the few weekends you spend with him, did you see the drugs or him dealing? Did you listen to some conversation? Anything related to this deal?"

"No." Relieve spread through his body. They couldn't charge him for having a criminal brother, especially if this person was his last free and living family member. But he also knew if they wanted him in lock up, they would get him there.

"Okay kid, I'll get you out of here. Just hang on." He had to get him out otherwise a good soul was getting lost through the mistakes of authorities. He sat there for a while, but after he noticed the lack of response the boy gave, he drove home. He couldn't blame the boy for this. He was just a kid, having witnessed the worse what can happened to one.

He entered the house. He felt depressed.

"Sandy? Where have you been?" His wife asked him. There she was and now he had to explain it to her.

"Juvies." He only answered and sat down at the kitchen table.

"What? Why? You never have to work at these hours." She asked him. Of course she was worried. Of course she sat across from him - demanding answers.

"It's about the kid." He only answered, trying to find the right words to say: I've been mistaken, you were right. He knew this statement was in somehow wrong, but after this he never was going to be able to convince his wife from something different.

"What kid? Sandy, talk to me? What has happened?"

"It's Ryan." He only managed to say. The more he thought about it, the more it started to sound ridiculous.

"Ryan? Our…Seth's Ryan? Why? What had he done?" His wife asked hysterically. Of course she did. She had been right form the very beginning.

"Nothing." This was his point of view. There were only mistakes from others he was blamed for.

"But…how did he end up in juvies? Sandy, talk to me? This…here if freaking me out!" She took his upper arms and shook him.

"They think he's involved in some drug thing."

"Hu? What? They can't be serious. I mean, we had noticed something right? We're more home than we used to, before he arrived here. We had noticed something. He barely left for the weekends. I…can't imagine this is true."

"That's what I think either." He only answered, not recognizing that his wife didn't recall her prejudices, but sat in the same boat he did.

"Sandy talk to me, what had happened?"

"There was a big drug deal at his brother's home and the police found out about it. Now they think Ryan was involved in it, too."

"Sandy, this is ridiculous. The boy was here most of the time. How should he have been able to plan this? He not even called his brother, neither his brother called him. Sandy, I can tell the judge that I…we wanted him staying here over the weekend. I can testify he was here with Seth and the girls. Sandy you can't allow them to lock him up!" His wife was hysterically now.

"I know all this and I already told the police this…but…the problem is that Ryan … he attacked one police officer and added to that resistance to state authority."

"And why? We both know the boy…don't attacks people just for fun. He…needs to be provoked…violently provoked. So, give me the whole story." He wondered since when his wife started to know the boy…to read him. She had melted down, from ice-queen into his warm-hearted wife. He appreciated that.

"They shot his brother…in front of his eyes." He still wasn't able to believe this. He still wasn't able to think the boy was able to handle this. He still wasn't able to imagine what was coming up to the boy.

"They what? Sandy he had been in shock, when he did this. His judgment had been restricted he…he…" And then something happened he never had thought it could happen a few months before. His wife burst into tears for a boy she had hated at the beginning. She cried tears for a boy, who wasn't hers. She cried tears for a boy whole Newport thought of as the scum of society.

"You need to get him out of that. He's already hurt enough, this will break him." This? He more feared what will come next. Now there was no brother who might pick him up. Now the only solution remaining was foster home and this was the last place this boy could use now. When he was out, he needed a familiar surrounding, someone who helped him coping - all things that weren't offered at a foster home.

"Sandy, did you listen to me?"

"Yeah I did!" He now screamed. This was all too much. The boy and his wife's changes from one extreme to another and he still having no idea what was going on and then there still was his son.

"But did you think what's happening when he's out?" His wife looked at him confused.

"They'll send him into a foster home and this won't be much better than juvies."

"This is not being said and if it's like you said, we…what shell we do to hinder them?"

"You know what we could do." He got up.

"No Sandy. This is not working." There it was again. He had no clue of what was wrong with his wife in this.

"No. It's not. You were the one making him stay over the weekends. You're the one wasting tears for him and you're the one not wanting him around here for ever? I don't understand you."

"Sandy there's a huge difference letting him stay so he can go to school and adoption."

"I'm not talking about adoption. I'm talking about foster care. Kirsten, he'll need someone who's there for him, helping him."

"I…I can't do that."

"Why? Don't you think I already realized there's more behind all this than just letting a boy – we know quite well by now – being part of our family? So why don't you tell me what it is?"

"Because you'll hate me if you know!" She now screamed more tears running down her cheeks.

"I'll never hate you, no matter what you were doing. I thought you already knew that."

"But…what…it's just awful." Her sentences were interrupted by heart-breaking sobs. She sat down on the couch in the living room. He sat down next to her, taking her into his arms.

"What is it?" He asked again.

"You…know before I met you…I and Jimmy…have been a couple. But I never told you why we broke up."

"No, but I guess you want now."

"We both wanted to attend the UCA, but then I got accepted at Berkeley…and…I wanted to go there so bad and I was so young…and Jimmy never would have understood. I had nobody…I didn't know you then and…I was afraid to tell my parents…and…I just did it. It was the only solution I had then." She didn't use the one word. But he understood her and now - where he knew this - her desire for having a kid – Seth – made even more sense. Even as her desire for a second one which never got fulfilled.

"But what has all this to do with Ryan?"

"Have you looked at him? The blond hair, the blue eyes…he…just reminded me of what I have lost…what I have wasted. I wasted a life and then…he occurs and reminds me of all that again." She hid her face in his arms, crying. Now things made sense. Why hadn't she been able to tell him earlier? Why hadn't she been able to trust him more? What had he done wrong?

"But…what have I done wrong you didn't tell me?"

"Nothing. I just buried it…forgot it and now…Sandy I really feel something for the boy and I can't imagine how things will be if he's not sitting at the kitchen counter in the morning next to Seth; if he's not playing videogames with Seth; if he's not out in the pool house with Marissa and Seth and Summer…I just can't imagine not having him around here…but I…had this chance I don't deserve another one."

"This is not true."

There was not enough evidence to sentence the boy for drugs. But his violent actions didn't remain unseen. At least he 'only' got probation. He was out this was the most important thing. He waited for him. When he saw him, he looked sad. He wore the same t-shirt he wore the night his brother was shot. It still was full of blood. Nobody had bothered washing it.

"Hey, feels good to come out?" He asked, when the boy reached him, head ducked.

"C'mon let's go." He said when he got no response. He wanted to put an arm around the boy's shoulder, but he immediately made a distance.

"And what happens now?" He didn't like this question. It made his heart clench.

"You come home with me and there we'll meet your social worker. He'll take you to a foster home from there." The boy only nodded. Something had changed. He was indifferent and cold – too cold.


	29. Red stains on a white tshirt

**_Red stains on a white t-shirt_**

**S**he was waiting for her husband and Ryan. She still hadn't been able to make a decision. But since that evening she was thinking about it, nearly all the day. She would like to take him in, but how would he think about it? Would they be able to replace…be a family for him? Would they be able after all what had happened to put up with him? There were so many they had to think about. The door opened and her husband came in, followed by a shy defeated boy. Oh…God…there was blood, all over his white t-shirt. How could…this wasn't fair. There was an expression in his eyes which made her afraid. But she wasn't sure how to call this expression. And then there was only one feeling in her. There was just one thing she wanted to do now. Protect. She only wanted to protect him from these men, who were beating him up; from his family; from the police; from his social worker; from everything what hurt him.

"Ryan!" She said when she put her arms around him, pressing him against her chest. He didn't return the hug. He turned his head away and carefully escaped her embrace. She looked at her husband who slightly shook his head.

"Can…can I take a shower?" The boy asked shyly.

"Of course you can. The pool house is still yours." She answered and then watched how the boy went out the patio and disappeared into the pool house.

"Sandy, what's wrong with him?"

"After all what had happened to him, I would call it emotional death." No. This was how to describe his eyes…they…were dead.

"But he's…a kid, how can he be emotionally dead?"

"Kirsten, just leave it with that. There's nothing we can do anymore. We only can hope that he's smart enough to stay out of trouble." She didn't like this sentence. Why weren't they able to do anything? They had to help him. What if she had been nicer towards him from the very beginning? If things were better then? She started to hate herself for giving him a hard time, although his life already was some kind of rotten. Something led her to the pool house. She heard water coming out the tap. The bathroom door was open. There he stood above the basin, trying to wash the blood out of the t-shirt. This scene made her heart clench. Why did he now think of this?

"Ryan, you don't have to wash this. You can throw it away."

"But this is my only one."

"We can buy a new one." She suggested. She didn't want him to wear this shirt anymore. It only would be a reminder.

"Why? This is still good. I only need to get these stains out of it." Now she understood what her husband meant.

"Ryan, then let me do this okay? Take your shower and I care for it."

"I can take care of it on my own." He started to sound annoyed. But he needed to get rid of this t-shirt. This would only lead to some kind of obsession. He needed to realize what had happened and he needed to accept it. Both things he didn't seem to have done, yet.

"But you don't have to." She insisted.

"Right. This is your house, your rules." The boy said and then left the pool house. She took a deep breath and tried not to burst into tears and sobs. Her husband entered the pool house.

"I told you." He said and then took her into his arms.

"I…just didn't want him to wear this shirt anymore."

"There is so much damage done to him. I guess you're right. I doubt we could help him with any of this." This made her feel even worse than bad. She was reluctant to give up on this boy. He had such a good heart. These people weren't allowed to damage it…destroy him. How were all these people able to hurt him? How has she been able to be that nasty towards him? They went back in. Seth and Ryan were playing some videogames, as if nothing had happened – as if everything was alright. The doorbell rang. Her heart dropped. This only could be the social worker. Her husband opened the door and the man stepped in.

"Can we talk before you take him with you?" She asked. Her husband looked at her. She knew things won't be easy. But she also knew she won't forgive herself if she just let him go like that.

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?" The man asked irritated.

"I want to know where you bring Ryan."

"Actually I don't know why you're interested." This blew her top. This boy had lived over month under their roof; he had grown into their family and now this? Was this man a robot or what?

"Well, under current circumstances I like to know, what happens to the boy who's my son's friend and who had lived with us for at least five months."

"Oh…okay. Well, I bring him to McAllistors, an institution for difficult kids." What? Difficult kids? These that stole your car, mugged you and stabbed you with a knife? And this kid should survive there? Never. He was not difficult. He was hurt.

"I don't think this is the right place for a kid like Ryan."

"After he had demonstrated his disposition to violent actions lately, I have no other choice." Violent actions? And what did they do to him?

"Okay, then what if we want to take him in?" Now all cards were out. Her husband looked at her. Yes, she had to make this decision a little quicker than she was used to. But this was situation demanded such an action. There was no other way. She wasn't going to allow these people causing more damage they already have.

"Sorry, but you better think about this carefully. This is no impulse shopping. Think about the damage you could…"

"We? Did you think what you've caused?" She was full of rage now.

"Okay, I see you're really concerned about the boy, but I want you to think of it. And when you're sure, call me and we can talk about the details."

"Why wait? My wife and I have thought about this for longer now."

"Yes, but the circumstances have changed after this whole thing with his brother. I don't want to give him to someone who can't handle him. He's a difficult case. That's a fact and I know the authorities aren't innocent in this. But I want you to think of this carefully. As you may have already noticed Ryan…is a little difficult to handle. Call me in a week and then we can see." And with these words everything was said. She wasn't able to protect the boy from what was coming up to him. The boy was alone again.

She watched the boy leaving and the blank expression on his face. She saw purse sadness on her son's face. Her husband didn't look any happier and she felt miserable.

The week past slowly. Seth was sad and despaired again. Marissa Cooper had come by several times and asked for Ryan. She burst into tears, when she got to know that Ryan was gone. She has had trouble to remain calm while she tried to comfort her. It was strange. There was no loud laughter around when she came home. The pool house was dark, when she went to bed. There was no non-stop talking Seth and although the boy had been hardly talking, his presence was missing. She missed his shy gestures or his concentrated way of doing homework, his shy smiles when Seth and Sandy started their tales about the day at the dinner table. Even her husband acted less relaxed and talkative as he used to. I was unambiguous to them that the boy already had become a part of their family after all they had gone through with him.

They met in the social worker's office.

"So, you really want to do this?" He asked them.

"Yes." Her husband answered.

"Okay, then in Ryan's case I would recommend a foster care. What means his father would still be his legal guardian."

"A father who is in jail." Her husband added.

"Yet."

"What does it mean?"

"That is father will come out one day and we should give Ryan the possibility to go back to his own family – or better what remained of it." This was understandable. After he had lost nearly his whole family he might even feel closer to his father. But what did they know about this man? Nothing. What if Ryan didn't want to go back to him? What if his father was some kind of violent person, like the one who had beaten up the boy?

"But, what if Ryan doesn't want to go back to his father?" She asked.

"Well, we should leave the decision with him." She wasn't sure if this was satisfying her.

"You're right." Her husband said, taking her hand into his.

"Alright, then I want you to read this." The social worker put a file onto the table.

"What's that?" She asked. Why did they need to read something? She thought they only needed to sign some forms. Damn, she knew how to cope with kids. She already had raised one. She didn't need a recipe for that.

"His background. Read it carefully. You need to know his past to understand him and to decide whether you really want to put up with that." Put up with? What was this supposed to mean? If they didn't want to put up with the boy, they weren't here.

"I think we know enough, at least we lived with him together over a few months now. I guess this shows enough that we want and can put up with him." She was reluctant to believe there could be more than a death alcoholic not caring men addicted mother, a father in jail, some kind of men beating him up, and a shot dead brother.

"Kirsten, he's right with this. This is the normal procedure. "

"But…but what else do we need to know, what we don't already know?"

"I guess, it's better you take a copy of it home and then discuss who of you wants to … see what's in there, although I need you both to do so."

And now they were at home, sitting in their living room this file on the table.

"Do we need to talk about this to Seth?" She asked her husband. She was eager finding other things to do than reading this file. She didn't want to.

"I guess we should tell him. But I don't expect any big problems."

"What should you tell me?" They heard their son from the kitchen.

"Well, we're thinking about whether you were alright if we take Ryan in…permanently."

"What do you mean?"

"We're thinking about … foster care."

"This means I wouldn't only see him due the week, but also on weekends and holidays?"

"That's what foster care is about." Her husband answered.

"That's great. I mean…cool. This would be like having a brother."

"So you agree to it?" She asked.

"Of course. And what's that?" Her son pointed at the file.

"Something we need to read before they allowed us to take Ryan in." Her husband said. She still felt uncomfortable at this thought. She had the feeling as if she was breaking the boy's privacy if she read what was in there. He should have a right to decide whether he wanted them to know all this.

"Oh, that seems to be a lot. So I leave you two alone with that." And then he was gone. They both and this file. Of course her husband was used to these things. This was his job. But she wasn't. Her job was numbers and figures, talking to contractors and her Dad, but not this.

"Do you know what? I go and read this in my study and you wait until you feel ready for this." Her husband said.

"That's a good idea…but…I mean if you read this, do I have to? If one knows this…wouldn't that be enough?"

"He'll also be in your responsibility. Kirsten…foster family only means legally not having all rights you have when it was your own child. But it does mean being a family for him. How do you want to be like a mother to him, if you don't know how to put up with him? We – you and I – need to know this to make the right decisions – those who are the best for him. We can't treat him like Seth and this here tells us why and how to treat him without frightening him or pushing him away. Kirsten, if you don't read this, he never can become part of this family. They'll never allow it." Listening to all this made her even more aware of what huge step they planned to make. Letting a foreign kid sleep and doing his homework at your home was one thing. But becoming a family for him, seemed to be incredible. She saw how her husband disappeared in his study. She needed time. She was afraid. From her husband she knew these files were everything else than nice fairytales. She couldn't handle what was in there. But she wanted the boy being hers so bad. He needed them. He was so alone. How was she able to read this?


	30. Nothing will happen if you don't want it

**_Nothing will hapen if you don't want it to_**

**H**e could understand his wife's concerns about this. It wasn't the fact she was reluctant to get the boy to know. It was the fact they were breaking his privacy in somehow – knowing if he wanted them to know this he had told them. But regarded to the information written on all these papers, it was questionable if he still had something like privacy at all.

On the other hand, he was used to read things like that – well not this – but he knew how to cope with reading about all kinds of physical abuse. His wife didn't. And although he liked this boy – even loved him – he managed to keep a distance to what he read. He shut out his feelings. His wife won't be able to do either. She was too emotional for that. But when he was honest to himself, he didn't take what he had read as cool as he used to. Maybe it was because of what he felt for the boy. Maybe because what he read stood out from what he was used to read. Of course he had read reports like that before. He had read such histories. But then they have belonged to different files – not to this one. He wasn't sure whether he ever had read something like that before. It wasn't because of what it was. It was about how much. As if one of all these things wasn't enough. He heard someone knocking on the door frame. It was his wife, with two glasses Chardonnay in her hand. He smiled at her, when she came over to him, placing his glass of wine in front of his desk.

"And?" She asked him.

"Well, not nice, but…" What should he say? This was more he had expected? That this was worse what he ever had read? Worse what he ever had thought was possible?

"You think I can read it?"

"Honest answer?" She nodded. "No, but we have no choice if we want him here." She nodded again and then took a deep breath.

"Do you want to be alone?" He asked her.

"If it's that bad, as you said before, then no." She answered. She sat down in an arm chair. He brought her the file, laid it onto her legs. She sighed. Hesitatingly she opened the file, without looking onto the first page. He was glad that the worse part was somewhere further in it. Thus it couldn't frighten Kirsten away from her attempt.

"You don't have to see all of this. It's enough if you have a brief insight in this." He went to her, putting a hand onto her shoulder – comforting her. Inwardly he was proud his wife had decided to take this step. This showed him, she really wanted to take responsibility. She really wanted this boy in her family.

She read the pages carefully, as if she was absorbing the whole information – motionless. They didn't speak. He just waited for her to finish her reading. She closed the file, took a last sip from her Chardonnay and then looked at him.

"How do you do this?" She asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"Reading things like these day after day. I…I…I mean, if I had known, I never would have behaved like that…I…just didn't know…he doesn't make the impression of…"

"He's good at papering over the cracks." He had come to the conclusion the boy was having a hard time, but regarding to his behaviour he never had thought it had been that hard.

"Have…have you read…I mean this one line…I…he was seven…or the other thing…this with…when he was ten? Sandy, he was child then. How can people do things like that to a child? How can a mother let these people do things like those to her child? What if Seth…"

"He's not Seth." Both had to accept from the very beginning that they weren't able to compare these kids with each other - that they weren't able to treat them the same.

"I know, but…I'm not sure if I'm able to…he needs someone who's there for him and helps him dealing with all this. Especially with what had happened to his brother and all this. I…have you seen his eyes? They were empty. I…mean he's in somehow broke. I'm not sure whether I can help him getting his life in order."

"But we can. This is not about make him coping with all this. That's his job. We only can give him a supporting help, if he needs one. We can give him some peace and time to recover, maybe time to be a teenager. That's all."

"I just wish…this hadn't happened and that I didn't know about it."

"Kirsten, we shouldn't let this affect our life as family. We shouldn't forget about this either, but we need to act normal around him. These things already have played a much too huge role in his life."

"But how? After this I…only want to take him into my arms and never let him go again. Sandy, we need to protect him."

"And we will." He assured her. Who had thought she would develop such feelings for this boy?

He went to bed late. His wife was already sleeping, or better she pretended to be asleep. When he lay down and switched the light off, it was completely silent, despite some quiet sobs. He already had wondered whether she really had been able to stay cool about all what she had read. He turned towards her and put and arm around her, pressing her tight against his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked her. Knowing it was linked to the file.

"I…just can't forget these pictures. Did they have to put them into the file?"

"They have. If the social service wants to act, they need to have proof." He kissed her onto her hair.

"But where was his mother when all this happened…this…one thing when he was seven?" Where were the parents? A usual asked question. Unfortunately in cases like these the parents weren't able to get their own life in order. They had to put their whole strength into their own life. There was not much left for their children. Thus the question to be asked was: were there no teachers? No friends or neighbours? Were there no people from social service? No, because they mostly came when it was too late - all for one those from the social service.

"Sandy, he has worked so hard for his mother. He took care of her, when she was in hospital. But what did she do? She didn't deserve him. Not him as person, not his soul, his love or even his concern." He sighed. What was he supposed to say about this? Maybe her son was the only thing keeping her alive then. Maybe the boy really loved his mother. Maybe he just wasn't able to leave her alone, even not after what had happened to him.

"But these times are over now. Here he'll find a place to settle. Here he'll be safe."

"And what if he doesn't want us to be…his foster parents?"

"I think we shouldn't expect him to jump of joy. He'll need some time to realize where his place is and to realize he can trust us."

"And what if he'll never realize?"

"He will. He only will need some time." He tried to sooth her. First she was afraid of the boy might become a part of their family and now she was afraid he might not. But he shared her fears. He wasn't sure if this was going to work out. He had no idea how this boy was going to react, when he was told he had a new home. He was sixteen now, used to make his own decision and live the life of an adult. Having others around making decisions over his head might be intimidating to him. Well, all these concerns smelled like a rough time.

"Sandy, as much as I love to have him here, but I'm so afraid of what might come up to us, Seth and him."

"This will be a rough challenge. But it'll be worth it."

"I know." She said, before she fell asleep in his arms.

On Monday morning they went to the social worker again. Their decision was made and nobody was able to persuade them from something else. They wanted him home and they would get him.

"Good morning, Mrs. and Mr. Cohen." The man greeted them. "So how do you feel about the foster care?"

"We want to be Ryan's foster parents." His wife said determining.

"Okay, then you both need to fill some forms and then you only need to tell me, when Ryan can come to you."

"The sooner the better." He said.

"Well, that would be tomorrow. I need to make some phone calls, talk to the educators in what kind of state the boy is, if we can take the risk." Risk? What was the man talking about? Ryan wasn't a dangerous animal.

"What kind of risk are you talking about?" He asked.

"Ryan's mental state wasn't the best when we brought him to McAllistor's and we don't want to risk he's getting involved into some serious trouble again."

"He wouldn't have before, if you had treated him like a human being, instead of a criminal thing." His wife now intervened.

"Maybe what had happened wasn't his whole entire fault. But this doesn't justify him attacking guards and educators." The man answered harsh. The boy's behaviour had gotten worse. He had hoped for something else.

"Does this change your mind?" The man asked. What did he thought? Telling them some bad news so they leave the boy, after all they had read?

"Of course not." His wife answered.

"Alright then, if the people from McAllistor's think it's okay, then one of you will have to come with me." His wife looked at him and he knew what it meant.

"I'll go with you." He said.

And with this said and the filled forms it was official. They were Ryan's foster parents.

"I'll go and make up the pool house for him." His wife said when they reached their home. She was eager to give the boy what he had been missing for so long and he was either. The rest of the day went by slow. Even his son wasn't able to hold still a second. As soon as he got the news he went to Summer and told her.

"Hey!" Seth said, when he was back with Summer and Marissa in tow.

"Hi!" He greeted the three.

"Is it true that Ryan comes to live with you?" Marissa asked him.

"Yes, tomorrow I'll pick him up." He answered.

"That's great!" Marissa said. A huge smile formed on her lips and her eyes started to beam with joy.

"Is there anything we can do? To make his arrival something…special?" Summer asked him.

"I don't think we should make this too huge. But I think Kirsten could need some help to make up the pool house for him." He suggested. He didn't know the boy, but he was sure he won't like it if they started to make a fuss of his arrival. He wasn't used to much attention. No he was rather bothered by that.

"That's a great idea. He needs to know that his place is here." Marissa said and then all three went to his wife. There were so many people happy about Ryan's stay here. He had trouble to believe that there would be too much trouble coming up to them. But he also knew that they weren't the problem. The others were - those who had done all the damage to him.

The next day came early, maybe a little too early for his taste. He met the social worker at McAllistor's. In comparison to his prejudices it looked quite nice. It was a huge and bright building with a lot of windows.

"Good morning. Let's go in. The principle of this house told me, Ryan had calmed down again, thus we can risk an attempt to settle him in a family." As if they were talking about an animal than a kid. The inside of the building was bright coloured and didn't even make the impression to be a foster home of horror. The passed a group of teenagers – laughing teenagers. He started to feel relieve. As it seemed this week hadn't been too bad for the boy. But nevertheless he was glad being able to take him home. They went through the hallway into a huge yard, with a playground, benches and tables. All this reminded him more of a park than a foster home for difficult kids. He saw him. This blond hair wasn't to be overseen. He sat in the shadow of a tree reading a book. While he was looking at him, it felt hard to imagine he was one of these rough, violent kids. But he was that was a fact not being denied. He was different, but he was one of them. But he was not yet a lost case.

"Hey Ryan." The social worker went towards him, getting the boy's attention. He looked up, but didn't make an attempt to get up from his sitting position.

"Did the principle talk to you?" The boy nodded. "Well, then you know that you leave this place today and go back to the Cohens." The man went on. There was no reaction coming from the boy. Things weren't easy, but they could be a little easier.

"So, c'mon, time to leave this place." The man tried once again to encourage the boy.

"And you think this will make everything alright again?" The boy now snapped. The social worker was visibly taken off guard.

"No, Ryan, that's not what we're thinking." He stepped in. The boy didn't trust anyone, but at least he used to listen to him. The boy didn't look at him.

"We only want you home, with us. You grew into our family the last few moths and there are so many people waiting for you to come back. Seth, Summer, Marissa, Kirsten and I."

"Your wife? Sure." He still hadn't overcome the fist meeting with his wife.

"Ryan, she was the one making you stay even over the weekends, did you forget that? She wouldn't have done so, if she wouldn't have meant it…wouldn't have missed your presence due the weekends. And now not having you around for ever just seems impossible to us." He got no response. Better no response than one he didn't like. On the other hand as response would show him the boy was listening.

"C'mon kid, give us a chance. You can go on with your school, you can stay friends with Seth and…there's a girl disparately waiting for you. So if these are not enough reasons to get onto your feet and come with me, I want to know what were."

"And what do you expect as reward?" Of course, nobody did something for nothing.

"We don't expect anything. As I told you once, nothing will happen if you don't want it to."


	31. Fucked up

**A/N.: **Did I mention that I can only count to three?

* * *

**_Fucked up_**

**W**hy he had agreed? He had no clue. Maybe to get out of this place? Maybe because he missed Seth and his lame jokes? Maybe he missed Marissa the first girl he met he wanted to spend his entire life with? Inside he knew it was all of that and a little more. But he wasn't ready to admit this little more to himself – not now. The ride to the Cohens was quiet. He was glad that Mr…Sandy…however didn't force him to talk. He wasn't in the mood for small talk. He didn't trust him that was for sure. He didn't know this man and he was unable to read what he had up his mind. But something made him believe him, when he said there won't happen anything, if he didn't agree. And yes, he was the first person who didn't treat him like a rotten toy. He had the suspicious feeling as if this man really cared. On the other hand he could only be a good actor and in right this second he was trapped in something, he never was able to get out of. Well, he never was trapped. He always knew how to escape.

But honestly, what reason should they have to let him live with them? He was nobody for them. He already had bothered them enough, why did they…Right, his mind was full and he didn't even have the space to think simple thoughts to a plausible end. They pulled up the driveway and his heart dropped into the bottom of his pants. He felt strange and uncomfortable and he only wanted to run. How was he supposed to live two years together with these people? He didn't belong to them and they knew it. He wasn't supposed to live here. He never would be able to fit in. This…just was a little too much, at least it felt like that. Yes, even good things can frighten you and overstrain you. What happens if he fucked up? A few weeks ago, he easily could have pissed off to his brother then. But now? This was the trap. And no, this time he had no chance to escape. If he pissed off they would find and punish him and into the bargain he would break his conditions of probation. He was in a fucked up situation and they had made use of it. What was he? Some kind of project? Let's try to domesticate the violent and criminal street kid? Shit. How was he supposed to handle all this? His heart clenched and he had trouble to hold back his tears. He only wanted to go back, where he came from. He wanted to go back to Chino. He wanted things to be as they were supposed to be, no matter if A.J. was still there to kick his ass and his Mum still choosing the alcohol above him.

"Listen kid, I can imagine that all must feel intimidating and strange to you and you own my whole sympathy for feeling uncomfortable right now. So, only go as far as you want to. Small steps are okay. But you need to give it a try. Okay?" Shit. How did he know? He read him. This was not good. He only nodded.

"Alright, then let's go inside." When he got out of the car and was standing in front of this huge house, he was sure this wasn't working. He never would fit into this. Never. He felt a hand between his shoulders, guiding him towards the house and then inside. Slowly they went to the kitchen. Seth and his mother were already waiting for them.

"Ryan!" Seth's mother called out. She wanted to take him into her arms. He stepped back. Reflex. He wasn't used to foreign people hugging him or something. But he felt awful because of that. It seemed as if they really tried to make easier for him, but he…He wasn't able to. Not now.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Is okay Ryan. As I said small steps are okay, as long as you give it a try."

"So Ryan, how are you doing? Man, you can't imagine how boring this week was without you. I hope you never plan to stay away for so long again. And if, take me with you. I tell you, I'll unable to survive in this place without your presence." Seth started to talk. Hundred words per minute. But he started to relax a little. It only meant two years. He should survive two years with Seth or? And maybe Marissa and he… He should stop thoughts like that. They led to nothing and only covered the truth with some nice day dreams.

"Okay, then let's head to the pool house. I tell you Mum and Marissa had been busy with all this makeover and stuff. But it was worth it. Now it doesn't look like an equipment room anymore. Really, it looks as one can live there." Seth started again.

"Besides you're still limping." Ouch. That was not being noticed by anyone.

"Just…the bruise. Needs some time until it's healed." He managed to get out of this trap.

"Ryan, if you don't want to live out here, you can of course stay in the house. We only thought you might like having some privacy. This should give you some space to settle and make yourself comfortable. Are you okay with that?" Mrs…Seth's mother…Kirsten, whatever said. All this attention was suppressing him a little. The only thing he needed was a bed and something like a shower. That was all.

"No…hu…thanks…it's …perfect…really." He stammered. Where was the famous hole in the earth he could disappear in? He could need it right now.

"Okay, we leave you alone now. I can imagine someone who wants to have some private minutes with you." Mr…Sandy said and then he was left alone. He put his bag on one of the chairs and then dropped down onto the bed. What now? Put into automate state of indifference would probably the most impolite reaction of all. But he wasn't happy about this change. He wasn't happy at all. He couldn't pretend to be, when he wasn't. He was in a fucked up situation. He was caught in a place where all wanted him to be happy about a change, he couldn't be happy about. Sure, now he wasn't alone, now he hadn't care how to get something to eat and stuff. But what had been the price for that? He had lost his mother, his brother had been shot in front of eyes and added to that some horrible experiences in Juvies. Hell, how was he supposed to be happy anymore? He got disturbed by someone knocking at the door. Then it was opened.

"Hey!" She said quietly with a huge smile on her face. She still was the most beautiful girl he ever had met.

"Hi." He replied. She was there. She came to him. Why didn't this make him happy? It was as if dark clouds were covering his mood.

"And how are you?" She asked and sat down next to him, putting an arm around his waist.

"Dunno." He only answered. He was in no mood for talking. He only wanted to be alone…oh God, he didn't even want her around. Shit. What a mess was he?

"It happened pretty a lot lately." She only said and laid her head onto his shoulder. He gently stroked through her hair.

"You don't feel too well, what?" She asked. He only sighed. He had no words. Nothing.

"This might sound weird and out of place right now, but things will change to something better. I promise. I'm there now and no matter what it is, don…just don't think you can't tell me, only because you're afraid to hurt or endanger me." She had figured it out. But she wasn't made for this Chino-stuff. She was a Newport-Princess. She…couldn't handle this.

"I know I'm not from Chino and I know I never have lived through what you did. But I can listen. And they can too. Ryan we're all there for you, Seth, his parents, Summer and I. We want to help you. You only need to let us." She spoke with her soft voice. A voice that was tearing on his soul that he had the feeling as if his chest would explode every second. The only thing he wanted to do was shut some door and lie down and cry. One big problem: he couldn't do so. He dropped onto his back. She laid her head onto his chest. She was there. Not only physically.

"In Chino a girl would never talk to you like that." He only answered. It was the truth. Maybe, if his girlfriend there had, he wouldn't have had a reason to flee from there. Who knows?

"Then let me tell you, we're not in Chino anymore. Things here are different. And soon you'll realize that." And this was blowing his top.

"How can live here be different? My mother still will be dead, I still have watched my brother getting shot, I still have all this fucking memories and I'm still the fucked up scum from Chino. How is this going to change?" He sat up and looked into her startled face. He shouldn't have screamed at her. It wasn't her fault and she only wanted to help him. The only problem was he by himself. Nobody else.

"Sorry." He whispered. He got up.

"Is okay." She only said and got up by herself, taking him into her arms. He smells her perfume and the warmth of her body makes him relax a little more. He doesn't fight her. It's a curious feeling of trust he feels towards her. And this is dangerous. He has to be careful. He couldn't predict what she had up on her sleeves, although he doubted she had some evil plans. But he wasn't used to let his guard down and he already allowed her more than he ever had allowed anyone before.

"You'll be safe here. I protect you if necessary." She whispered into his ear.

"I thought this works the other way round, as women are known as the weak ones."

"Hey! Don't try to annoy me. I have a little monster as sister. I can be very strong if I have to." He had to laugh a little.

"Well then, I guess nothing can happen to me, what?"

"I promise." Promises. He had stopped believing in them. But he would give her a chance.

He wasn't sure what he felt right now. He wasn't happy, although he should be, especially with this girl. He wasn't sure if he was sad or despaired or something like that. It only felt strange and uncomfortable. He only hoped this feeling would end one day.


	32. A not so happy ending

**A/N.:** Big thanks to all those who read this story and or your reviews. Sorry for my hurry, but as I said I don't know when I'll have some free time again and I didn't want to let you wait endlessly. I hope you had fun and enjoyed this story.

* * *

**_A not so happy ending_**

**S**he watched him sitting on the edge of the pool again, watching the horizon. He was quiet since he had arrived and he made a very sad impression to her. She went towards him and sat down next to him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked him. He only shrugged his shoulders. Sandy had told her they shouldn't expect too much at the beginning. But it hurt her seeing the boy like this.

"Why are you doing all this?" He asked her.

"What do you mean?" She asked back. Glad that the boy started to talk to her by himself.

"You don't want me here and now you have to stand me for two years." These words made her heart clench.

"Ryan, if I didn't want you here. You wouldn't be here. I thought you understood this." The only response she got was shrugging shoulders.

"Maybe I need to explain you something." She started. She owed him this. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable through the whole time he stayed with them – hopefully more than only two years.

"When I look at you, I get reminded of something I have done. See, Sandy was not the first man I dated. Before I met him Jimmy Cooper, Marissa's Dad, and I were a couple for a very long time. We decided to go to the same university, building up our life together. But then I got accepted at Berkeley and…well I wanted to go there really bad. The…only problem then was…well…I was pregnant with Jimmy's child. I wasn't able to tell him, he was too young and the hell had broke lose when I had told my parents about that. And bringing up a baby on my own seemed so impossible to me and there was my Berkeley acceptance. I…just had no other choice. I had an abortion. Since then it's difficult for me to get pregnant and…when you occurred and you started to meet Seth…the baby I killed could have looked like you. And I got a bad conscience for what I have done then. I just wasn't able to deal what I've done." She hoped he would understand.

"And now you think you can?"

"I don't think what I've done was right. But I don't think it was wrong either. I got a new chance and I'll take it." She said. She never was going to let this boy go anywhere without her, that was for sure.

"A means to an end." He answered. He heart was close to breaking. Why was the boy unable to understand that they wanted him as part of their family?

"No, Ryan. That's not true. All this is only about you. I never would have been able to swap you with any other blond and blue eyed boy."

"Whatever." He got up. Challenge lost. But he didn't go. He hesitated.

"It was the right decision." He said. She looked at him, having no clue, what this was supposed to mean.

"Otherwise you would have ended up like my Mum. Better have no children than treating them like shit." How was this boy able to hurt her only by simple words? Even if they weren't meant to hurt her?

"Your Mum had been at College?"

"No, she could have. But then she got pregnant with Trey. She didn't go. My Dad stopped his career as…whatever to maintain his family and soon both were only repining. Got worse when my Mum got me. I only know her drinking and him yelling. So, believe me you did the kid a big favour with not giving him or her birth." He said and then went off. She wasn't sure what this meant? Absolution? Or just some kind of allegation? She watched him go. Her son was right. The boy still was limping. This wasn't good, was it? She got up and caught up with him.

"I don't like that you still have trouble with your knee. I'll make an appointment at the orthopaedist tomorrow." She said.

"Whatever. I left my free will somewhere between Fresno and Chino, so don't bother asking me first." It was not only the words which were hurting her. It was the tone: calm and indifferent. Of course her husband had said it wasn't going to be easy, but he also hadn't said it was going to be that difficult. She only wanted the boy to notice that they didn't want hurt, but protect him. Here he was safe, probably for the first time in his life and he reacted like that. What was wrong with him? Until dinner she didn't see him again. The only person who was able to act around him lightly, without being afraid of getting snapped at was her own son. Ryan was just quiet. Mute, was a better description. He didn't say a word, despite thanks and sorry.

It was late at night. The boy was gone some time. He had rejected dinner and when her husband had gone to the pool house checking on him, he was gone. Hell knew where he was now. He left his cloths, meaning he didn't run. But he wasn't there and that made her anxious. Even her son, who was supposed to know his friend and now foster brother, hadn't found him.

"Sandy, it's already late, too late. I'm worried." She said. Both knew they had to give the boy his space. Both knew it was too hard not to smother him, with all they had to give – especially after knowing his background.

"I know, but I have no idea, where he could be either."

"And what if something had happened to him? What if he had done something stupid? After all what had happened lately it wouldn't be a wonder if he did." He hadn't been theirs for even a day and she already feared she might have lost him.

"Maybe I know where he is." Her husband said.

"What? Where?" She needed to know where her new son was. She needed to show him, what he meant to her – that she even loved him, although he couldn't imagine that.

"At the beach. At least this was where I found him the morning, after he got to know about his mother's dead." She was hysteric. Why hadn't her husband thought about this earlier? What if it already was too late?

"Why? What was he doing there?" She couldn't imagine what the boy was doing there. The nights were cold in this season. He easily could get a cold or something. And why didn't she know anything about this?

"Well, he was drowning his sorrows, in…"

"He drank? And you didn't find it necessary to tell me?" She was upset. She had to know when one of her sons was drinking only get his problems solved.

"If I had then, I'm not sure whether Ryan would be…here now." Her husband stated. He was right. She had been such a bitch towards this poor boy. Hell, he had been a kid and she had tried to treat him like an adult. No, she hadn't been fair. Enough reasons for having secrets. Who knew if she hadn't hurt him even more then?

"What are we waiting for?" She asked him and stormed through the hallway.

"Maybe I better go alone." Her husband said.

"No, you aren't. We're both…his parents – in somehow – so he's our responsibility and we have to take it together." She determined.

"Okay, then don't waste time." Her husband answered defeated and then they got into the Range Rover, heading to the beach.

They reach the beach. Her husband explained her it was his favourite place to surf. It was nice that was for sure. They carefully went along, looking out for a well known form.

"There!" Her husband pointed at someone sitting on a little sand dune.

"Ryan!" She called out. The form wasn't moving. She went towards it and…it was him. Thanks God. He was alright…well, regarding to the bottle next to him he was drunk.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Still nothing. She decided to sit down next to him. The goose bumps on his arms told her, he was freezing. She wanted to rub his upper arms, making him feel warm again. But he made space between them.

"Okay boy, let's get you home." Her husband said and the tried to grab one of the boy's arms, helping him up.

"Leave ma alone." He growled.

"Ryan, you catch a cold if you don't come home with us." She tried to sooth him. She wanted to stroke over his arm, but he didn't allow her.

"There's no home." He answered. If she wasn't sitting next to an empty bottle of…whisky or something, she wouldn't recognize he was drunk. Hell, how much must he have been drinking to become resistant like that? But worse of all was that he didn't accept the change. He didn't accept them.

"Yes, there is. You only need some time to adapt to it." Her husband said.

"And when you're bored with me? You throw me out or what?" This sentence hurt her. How was he able to think, one got bored with a child?

"No, Ryan. Nobody will throw you out and nobody will be bored with you." Her husband said. Not paying any attention to the boy's rejection and grabbed his arm and pulled him up. Upon his feet he was swaying badly. She immediately got up and put an arm around his waist to support him. He tried to fight her.

"No, sweetie. Calm down. I don't want you to fall on your knee. It's already hurt." She said, soothingly.

"Who cares, anyway?" He only answered. She looked at her husband, who only shrugged his shoulders. Having to listen to all these words helplessly was torture. No matter what she or her husband said, Ryan always misunderstood or didn't believe them. She sat next to him in the backseats of the car. He was leaning his head against the window. He looked so sad and depressed and worse of all: when he woke up next morning and entered the kitchen, she would meet the same sad and depressed eyes again.

When they arrived at home, her husband carefully helped Ryan out of the car and guided him to the pool house. He sat down on the bed. And what now? Should she stay and wait until he was in bed? Should she leave him? If it was Seth, she would stay there until he was in bed. But this wasn't Seth. Seth never would have gotten drunk, because of his problems.

"If you need something let us know." Her husband only said and went out, she followed him.

"Don't you think, we should stay and help him?" She asked.

"Help him with what? Kirsten, let him change his cloths and get to bed. You – we can check on him later. Give him space." Her husband said and laid his arm around her.

"And what do we do about this? This is not correct what he's doing."

"I know and we'll talk to him in the morning. Sympathy and patience, that's what he needs now, only this way we can get through to him." She nodded. Of course the boy has had enough punishment in his life. She was only afraid how to hold the balance between her two sons. They needed to treat the equally to avoid conflicts. But this was impossible. Her son didn't grow up with alcohol and crimes. He has no relation to it. For Ryan all this belonged to his everyday life. This here was a whole new world for him.

"But why does he rather get drunk, instead of asking for help?" She asked.

"He's crying for help, with every hurting answer, with every aggressive behaviour or stupid action."

"Can't he use words?" This was more a rhetorical question.

"If he had learned to." She nodded and then waited the minutes to past, before she could go back to the boy. She looked onto her watch and her husband nodded. They both went back to the pool house. The lights were off for a while. She expected the boy to sleep. He only pretended to. He lay on his side, curled together, the blanket somewhere at the foot of the bed. She took it and tucked him in, gently not the let him notice that she recognized he wasn't asleep. In the bare light of the moon, shining through the windows she saw little traces. Dry tears. Carefully she stoke through his hair.

"Things have changed now." She whispered.

"I don't want them to change. I wanna go back to my Mum and Trey." He answered. She was surprised by receiving an answer. But the boy always managed to surprise someone only with his decision it was time to speak.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, but this is impossible." She replied. It felt hard to tell him this. But it was the truth and he had to accept it, if he ever wanted to start a normal life again.

"I know. They're dead."

"It's hard to think about that and it seems to be impossible to go on, but I promise it's possible. Small steps from day to day." She got no answer. At least he was listening, without hurting respond.

"I leave you now. Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day and things will turn out to be better as they are now." A wind of change will come and help you, she thought. She once stroked through his hair. When she was already outside she could hear him.

"Thanks…for everything."

~ _The End ~_


End file.
